The Power of Love
by Aleize Claire
Summary: Love is like a violin, the music may stop now and then, but the strings remain forever. Inspired by the Celine Dion song of the same title. One night was all Dave and Erin planned for, just one night of stolen affections and they would never look back. They didn't count on fate's helpful shove and an overactive biological clock. *WINNER* of Best Rossi\Strauss in the 2014 PCAs
1. Prologue

******_Prologue_**

**Rated: Heavy T**

_Love is like a violin. The music may stop now and then, but the strings remain forever._

_-Anonymous _

It was too complex to try to explain how or why they had ended up like this. His teeth grazing down her collar-bone. Her hands wrapped around his shoulders anchoring herself to him. While she moved her lips down his jawbone. Everything, all the pain that they had inflicted on one another over the last two decades melted into nothingness right there in that hotel room. Her clothes were lost on their way to the bed his shirt twisted in her fingers, unwilling to let him go.

"This isn't over." His hot breath grazed her earlobe as his mouth continued down her body. A little older than he remembered-where did the time go?- but still the same as when he last touched her.

"Far from it," she muttered bringing him back to the present. She pushed him on his back, unbuttoning his shirt with frenzied fingers. Slowly her teeth nipped at his nipple before trailing down his chest.

His low moan brought her closer to the peak of pleasure. Knowing that she could please him as easily as he could her, her hands pressed against his chest as he took her nipple in his mouth and sucked greedily. Her head ducked into his shoulder leaving her mark against the tender skin there. For one night he was hers and hers alone. One more time. One more night. And she would never look back.

Just one more time, he told himself just one last time and he would never look back. Her pleasured cries stirred him as he moved from her breast to the spot just below her ear. They never locked lips He longed to taste them but they never kissed. Not once. Only licked and suckled. And bit. Only here in their secluded room in the cover of darkness while the big-wigs of the Bureau enjoyed their whiskey and cigars. They stole that night for themselves. Old habits never died and Erin Strauss had always been his drug of choice. He was an addict and help was the last thing he wanted. He sat up and pushed her against the pillows her limbs sprawled across the mattress. She whimpered as he dragged his bottom lip from her wrist up to her elbow. Suckling on the pulse point he knew drove her crazy.

She fought to catch her breath as ripples of pleasure coursed through her body. As she reached for the nightstand. He grabbed her wrist.

"How old are we?" He growled, his eyes dark with desire and want.

"Old enough to know better," she gasped.

"Young enough not to care."

She pulled her arm away from the nightstand. "Enough talking. You have better things to do with that mouth."

"Your wish is my command," he said and lowered himself to cover her nakedness with his body. "How long before they realize we're not there?" He murmured against her skin, his goatee tickled the sensitive valley between her breasts. Kissing each one, he moved his head lower across her stomach down to the v between her thighs.

"They never notice," she sighed and arched against his knowing fingers. "Not as long as the cigars are stocked and the cards are stacked. Ohhhh….." She breathed on a moan "David."

"So wet. Just for me." He stroked her slowly her hips undulating under his ministrations.

"That's it, Bellisima," he encouraged, "come for me."

Somewhere in the far recesses of her mind, Celine Dion's 'The Power of Love', began to play.

"You're trying to kill me," she panted, her body arched and jerked as the coil inside wound down tighter. She wanted him to stop. She wanted him to go faster. "I…oh! Oh! Too much…too much." She tried to catch her breath, but he pushed her to the edge.

"More…more…oh…oh"

Slipping a finger in her hot, wet core, he thrust gently and reveled in the way her body tightened and clamped down as a powerful fire consumed Erin from head to toe. Crying out his name her fingers dug into the comforter as her hips lifted seeking him. Dave took that invite. Covering her mouth with his, he swallowed her cries of release and filled her body with one powerful thrust of his hips. He waited a moment for her to adjust to his size. Lifting himself on his elbows, he looked into her blue eyes before setting the pace.

**A note from the author: A big special "THANK YOU" to the infallible, amazing, FlashPenguin I'm proud to call you my friend and my beta. **


	2. Chapter one

**Chapter One:**

**_Better be courted and jilted Than never be courted at all._**

_-Thomas Campbell_

"So, will it be pink or blue balloons this time?" Dave asked JJ as they walked back inside the BAU bullpen, past the maze of desks and into the kitchenette, helping themselves to the coffee. JJ stopped in her tracks, her hand poised over the cupboard door. She Smiled slightly in disbelief.

"Excuse me?" She asked.

"Look, I saw the test in the head on the jet; I'm not going to say anything," he said, shrugging his shoulders.

"Rossi, that pregnancy test isn't mine."

"You saw it too?" He asked, knitting his brow.

"Yeah."

"So, if it's not yours, and Garcia and Prentiss are in London, who else is there?"

"It could be an old one maybe," JJ explained. "Somebody had a false alarm."

"That trash gets dumped every time the jet is refueled. Anything that was in that trashcan from when Prentiss was on-board was history before we left for Maryland," Rossi said, rubbing his chin thoughtfully.

"Rossi, I never took you for a gossip," JJ said, amusement coloring her tone.

"I'm not, I'm just trying to figure this out."

"You're profiling a jet?" JJ shook her head in disbelief.

"I like to keep my skills sharp."

"I'll leave you to your guessing game, I've got paperwork to finish." JJ made her good-byes, walking toward her desk.

The wheels in Dave's head continued to turn as he walked up the steps of the catwalk and into his office. Sitting down at his desk, the answer hit him like a bolt of lightning. Slapping his palm over his face, he groaned. God, he hated feeling stupid, but now he felt like a complete idiot. Ever since that night in the hotel, Erin had been distant. Anytime they were in the same room she made a quick exit. She was even more aloof while they were in Maryland. She hardly said ten words to him and he was the one to start that conversation.

"Dammit!" He muttered. Within seconds he was headed towards Erin's office. His heart thundered in his chest He threw open the door. Her startled expression when she looked up from her files did nothing to slow him down.

"What is this?" He demanded, slapping the plastic stick down on her desk.

Erin shot him a pointed glare.

"What does it look like?" She returned with experienced aloofness. Nothing would fizzle the Italian Stallion's temper faster than apathy.

"Were you ever going to tell me?"

Erin swiveled in her office chair. Her eyes were guarded and revealed nothing, but her tone was even and measured. "I was going to tell you as soon as I knew for sure, but since you like to snoop around airplane bathrooms...well, telling you now that I _might_ be pregnant would be pointless. Don't you agree?"

"Why didn't you tell me there was even a possibility of this happening? What were you planning to do? Wait until you pop and leave me to do the math? Or were you just going to take care of this on your own so no one would know you slept with me!"

"I figured this pregnancy meant as much to you as I did," she shrugged. "So, what would it matter what I decide? The last time I looked, the law favored a woman's right to choose."

His fists clenched with rage as her meaning dawned on him. "You were going to kill my child?" He rasped, his voice raw from emotions running wild within him.

Shock and hurt were clear in her tone. "That's what you thought I was going to do? I am _forty-five_ years old, David, and it's a miracle that I got pregnant at all! How would you even think that I would consider something like -"

Dave cut her off. "Come on, Erin, don't talk like you haven't thought about it. You obviously don't want to have my kid. If you did, you would have told me about it. Since we're weighing all your options-" The malice in his tone was enough to send shivers down The Devil's spine.

"Get. The. Hell. Out." Erin ordered in a deadly tone. The look in her eyes assured her intent.

She heard the door slam before she realized that he really had walked out. Blinking back hot tears, she tried to gather her thoughts. The thought of Dave walking out on their child hurt more than his action.

She was more than comfortable with being a single parent, but knowing the risks of having another baby at her age, she couldn't help but worry. She didn't want to leave this child – or any of her children – without a mother if she didn't survive the birth. Which, given the advances in medical technology, her death wasn't likely. Although, 'not likely' wasn't the same as _impossible_.

If David didn't want to be a father, then her baby would be at the mercy of her three eldest children. That should be a fun reveal, she mused with a sigh, telling the three teenagers their mother had an unprotected one-night-stand with a subordinate/ex-lover, resulting in a baby barely a year after she was hauled off to rehab by another subordinate.

She leaned back in her chair, her eyes never left the ceiling.

Dave thundered back inside his office, slamming the door behind him. He stood behind his desk digging through one of the top cupboards. Tossing books and folders aside he pulled the heavy glass decanter towards him. His hands shook with anger and shock sloshing the amber colored liquid in the bottle. Lowering the bottle toward the desk, his hand slipped and with a mighty crash the bottle lay shattered on the floor.

Hotch looked up from his paperwork when his office window shook from the force of Dave's door. He jumped to his feet when he heard the sound of breaking glass. He could distinctly hear Dave muttering none too quietly about a spare bottle. Hotch listened intently when he heard his friend slamming a drawer closed. He knew he should have been worried that his best friend kept not one, but two bottles of liquor in his FBI office. No, what worried him was that Dave was actually breaking them out. Leaving his office Hotch headed down the hallway. Stopping by the custodian's closet, he grabbed a broom and a dustpan before doubling back and entering Dave's office.

"Thought you knew how to knock, Hotch," Dave muttered, staring at his empty tumbler as if he were debating whether or not to fill it. The broken shards of crystal lay under his chair reflecting the sunset on the wall.

"Dave, you shook my windows when you slammed the door. What's going on? We both know you don't break out a bottle in the office without a good reason."

After a beat of silence, Aaron grabbed the bottle and the glass he poured a heavy measure and pushed it towards Dave. "You drink, I'll drive."

Dave lifted the glass and its contents disappeared in a gulp. Normally he would have sipped the fortifying liquid, savored it. Right now he needed to catch a buzz fast.

"I slept with Erin," Dave confessed, refilling the glass and knocking it back.

"After JJ's wedding. Yeah, I kind of figured," Aaron admitted, thinking back to the way the couple couldn't keep their hands off each other. Anyone paying attention knew that they were just waiting for an opportunity to sneak away.

Dave poured another glass and held it as the last two drinks caught up to him. Usually he would have stopped right there but desperate times called for desperate measures and a lot of Scotch.

"I got her pregnant, Aaron. I didn't even think that was a possibility. Erin didn't clue me in at all. She took the test on the jet on the way home. She didn't even seem happy. She wasn't planning on telling me, Hotch. Which begs the question what she would have done had I not found the test and confronted her."

"What did you say to her?" Hotch probed gently.

"Let's just say it wasn't pretty and leave it at that."

"What are you going to do?"

"I started with that, good guess." Dave tipped the glass in Hotch's direction. With a scowl before knocking it back.

"I wasn't guessing, I'm asking you what you're going to do."

"I don't know, Hotch, I didn't exactly draw up a blueprint for a one-night gone sour," Dave said with a scowl.

"You're thinking that she really is pregnant. I'm not saying Strauss is lying, but that one test could have been false positive. Has she made an appointment?"

"Menopause. Hell, I didn't think about," Dave nodded, snapping his fingers in the air. " I'm willing to bet that stick lied. How bad do I smell?" Dave asked, as he stood.

"Pretty bad, Dave. You can bother her assistant after you've slept it off. Let's clean up the mess and get out of here."

Aaron took the broom and swept up the glass while Dave put the discarded papers back in their proper place.

"Perfectly good, top-shelf whiskey wasted on a stick of plastic," Dave grumbled, shaking his head as Hotch emptied the dustpan into the trash.

"You know I heard you muttering about a spare, do I want to know what else you hide in here?" Aaron asked, slightly amused.

"No, Aaron, you most defiantly do not," Dave warned as they boarded the elevator.


	3. Chapter Two

**Chapter Two**

**_If stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out?_**

**_-Alexander Pope _**

Dave rolled over and buried his face in the pillow, he gave it a few hard thunks and closed his eyes again. And just like every other time, thoughts of babies and a bitch woke him up. If only he had worn the condom. Only his Catholic upbringing combined with his own stupidity could be blamed. He'd been with enough women in his fifty-seven years to know how to avoid conception. His avoidance ruined his first marriage.

"Only lay down with a woman, Davie, if you're really sure about her. Then you don't have to worry about birth control," his mother's warning resounded in his mind. A little too late, in his humblest of opinions.

He scrubbed his eyes with his hand, his head was spinning with the events of yesterday. After Hotch dropped him off, he helped himself to another half bottle of Scotch and fell into a restless sleep. Now that the initial shock was gone, he needed a good plan.

Or just a plan.

It was still early when Dave got to Quantico, but it was no surprise that the light in Hotch's office was on while the rest of the team probably weren't even out of their beds. In the time it took to start another pot of coffee, Dave decided what he needed to do.  
>He had to approach Erin head on if he was going to get anywhere. Even though the idea of never knowing his child made his chest ache, he would be surprised if Erin so much as looked at him after the way he spoke to her. But there was one thing David Rossi was good at, winning the hearts of woman everywhere.<p>

He filled two mugs and headed towards Erin's office. His heart pounded restlessly as he approached the door. Sitting a one mug on the table outside, he knocked twice and let himself inside and closed the door.  
>"Can I help you with something?" Erin asked, barely flicking her gaze away from the paperwork that cluttered the desk.<br>Dave kept his voice even, but inside his organs trembled with apprehension,"I have something important to tell you. And I want you to listen. Just give me one minute."

She didn't lift her head to give him so much as a glance. "You have thirty seconds." She was dismissing him before he had even taken a stand.  
>"Will you look at me, Erin please. This is hard enough already."<p>

She kept writing, her eyes trained on the report in front of her. "Forty-five seconds. What do you want, vacation time? A raise? Last I heard, you were still a best-selling author."  
>"This isn't about work, Erin. I'm here to talk about-"<p>

"Fifteen-" she cut him off, reminding him he was on borrowed time.  
>Dave's voice rose in his throat, "Stop playing games with me. Put that pen down and look me in the eye."<br>It was on the tip of her tongue to tell him that he could go on a one way trip to hell on the fastest train, if it meant she never had to see him again. She continued to scribble for a few more seconds, but she could feel his eyes burrowing into her. There was only one way to make him go away, she told herself, let him have his say.

Affronted, she stabbed the pen into its holder. With the mental image of Dave's face at the bottom. "Make it quick, as you can see I'm very busy."

"Marry me, Erin. Let me give my child a name," he stated evenly and concise. But he promised himself that he wouldn't plead and make a fool of himself.  
>Years of raising children and dealing with subordinates had taught her to conceal her emotions. But his request still hit her in the gut. Her eyes leveled with his, and her tone was cool. Inside she was shaking. "Now I know I'm not the only one playing games here, Dave."<p>

"I'm serious-" Screw his promise not to plead, he was ready to go down on his knees - anything to make her see that he meant every word.  
>"No, you're not, you're still drunk," she scoffed. According to the security guards, he left the building reeking of Single Malt.<br>Dave stepped forward and placed one of the mugs on her desk, "I'm as serious as a heart attack."

Erin picked up her pen again, signaling that his time was up, "Let me think about it...No. And while you're on your way to hell, you can take that coffee with you."


	4. Chapter Three

**_Chapter Three_**

**_Love is just a word until it is proven to you._**

**_-Unknown_**

Marriage, Erin scoffed as the office door closed behind him; that asinine suggestion made her heart speed in aggravation. Why couldn't he be like any other man in this situation? 'What situation?' A small part of her mind asked. She had to admit, two missed cycles and one cheap test didn't mean a lot.

And after three wives he should have known that. With a sigh, she pulled out her phone, there was only one way to be sure.

The two weeks after Erin told him to go to hell were spent in Los Angeles; that was close enough. He settled back in his seat, no one had gotten much rest while they were gone. The team was all in various stages of sleep, Reid's book covered his face, Morgan's eyes were shut with his headphones covering his ears in the middle section, Hotch sat towards the front near JJ and Dave sat on the side. His head was pounding and it didn't matter how much he tried to compartmentalize, his mind wouldn't shut down.

"I'm guessing Strauss hasn't called you," Hotch said, coming towards him. Wth two steamy mugs in his hand.  
>Dave accepted the cup of coffee. "And why would you say that?"<br>Hotch kept his voice low, "From the moment we touched down you've been checking your phone every half hour."  
>Dave arched an eyebrow, and said in mock sternness,"I thought I taught you how to turn that off. He wagged his finger towards Hotch "No Inter-team profiling, remember?"<p>

Hotch grinned in apology, "Force of habit, do you want to talk about it?"  
>Dave sighed heavily, he kept his voice low, mindful of the other team members. "She doesn't want anything to do with me. Before we left I went to talk to her, she wouldn't even look at me."<p>

"What did you say?"  
>Dave measured his words carefully, "I told her to marry me."<br>"You told Strauss to marry you?" Hotch asked, stifling a chuckle. Of all Dave's romantic mistakes This was one for the record books. No one could tell Erin anything and expect to get their way.  
>Dave slapped his hands against his knees in exasperation, "I'll admit, it wasn't the most romantic proposal, but it got the job done. The important thing is, that the baby gets my name."<p>

"And what did she say?" Hotch said, inclining his head.  
>"She told me to go to hell and then, she sent me there," Dave let his gaze drift toward the mini-bar. His tone turned solemn, "Maybe it is for the best."<br>Hotch's head snapped up in alarm, he'd never heard Dave give up on anything. "Why would you say that?"

"What could I offer a child now, at this stage of life?"  
>"You're great with Jack," Hotch offered.<br>"Yeah, on weekends and during Soccer season, but I feel like I'm about to have a heart attack by the second half of the game." Dave rubbed his chest absently. His voice choked, "I'll be in a wheelchair by the time my kid graduates. What kind of life is that for them?"

"Do you know how many times I've considered taking myself out of the field since Haley died? Hotch's voice wavered, "Because I'm afraid if something happened to me, I would leave Jack with nothing more than memories of a happy childhood?"

Dave took a sip of coffee before answering."No, Aaron, I don't tell me."  
>"Once."<br>"Just once?" Dave asked, surprised.

"It was right after Erin gave me the option to retire, I thought if my own brother didn't bother to come to Haley's funeral I didn't have another choice. But then, Jessica offered to help, then JJ and Penelope stepped in. You coach soccer, and Morgan and Reid have helped with homework on more than one occasion." Hotch chuckled at the memory, "The point is, I know I'm not leaving him alone. And you won't have to either."

"This is different. It's not that simple." Dave protested.  
>"How?"<br>"Strauss is my superior, sleeping with her wasn't legal. I'm not saying I need my benefits but it goes against regulations."  
>"One of you will have to step down" Hotch said flatly, "that doesn't change anything. You told me if you'd had a reason to, you might have tried harder in your marriages. You have that reason now, Dave and it won't be around forever." Hotch said, turning back towards his seat.<p>

Dave reached for his phone, "Hey Hotch?"  
>Hotch turned around.<br>"Thanks."  
>"Anytime."<p>

The ringing of the phone barely registered in Erin's ears as she knelt in front of the toilet bowl; her world spun as she repeatedly lost the contents of her stomach. She was going to kill David, she was going to flay him alive as soon as she could move.  
>****<p>

Dave parked his car in front of her split-level home, after five ignored calls it was time for him to take matters into his own hand. He didn't see her car it was probably still parked in the garage. She wouldn't be at work on a Saturday. He caught sight of the recycling bins on the curb; overflowing with plastic soda bottles and aluminum cans. His profiler instinct kicked into high gear, was that normal?

He wiped his feet on the welcome mat and rang the doorbell. Tracking mud on what was sure to be immaculate carpet, wouldn't do him any favors.

Erin opened the door slowly, stopping halfway when she saw who dared to darken her doorstep. "Get the hell off my porch!"

"Erin," Dave pleaded, "hear me out."  
>"Sending you to voice mail half a dozen times wasn't clear enough? I don't give a damn what you have to say."<p>

She slammed the door but, it was met with his foot on the doorjamb.  
>Her eyes narrowed in slits,"I'm reaching for my service weapon-" she warned.<br>"Really Erin?" He arched an eyebrow, "You're threatening to shoot me; I've heard that one before."

"I know, three ex wives and countless lovers," she griped. "Let me think, there was, Carolyn, Angie, Karen, Janice – Donna and Tracy. Those are the ones I know about; not to mention, Jareau, Prentiss and Agent Seaver. Though, I have to admit, that last one surprised me."  
>Dave voice rose in his throat, his reputation was bad enough, without Erin adding fuel to the fire,"I've never slept with any member of my team and you know it."<p>

She fixed him with a pointed look, "Oh you haven't have you?"  
>"What's your point?" Dave said forcefully, it was safer to let it go than to point out her hypocrisy. "What's the point in dragging up my past when you know that's not who I am now."<p>

"That's not who you are, now." She scoffed, her tone laced in bitterness. "Sure you've changed. You've downgraded; from Love 'em and Leave 'em. To Love 'em and Leave 'em Knocked Up."

"We both know I'm terrible with relationships." It was a weak and selfish argument, but it was the truth, "But that doesn't mean that I don't want to try-"  
>"You don't know how to stop trying—" She cut in.<p>

"You're right, I don't."  
>She blinked, baffled, had she heard him right? "What?"<p>

"I'm trying to do the right thing, I'm bad with love, I'm bad with romance, but that doesn't mean I can't be a good father. Will you give me the chance to prove it?"


	5. Chapter Four

**Chapter Four**

**Nobody's interested in sweetness and light.**  
><strong>-Hedda Hopper <strong>

The porch creaked as Dave stepped closer to her his hand came to rest on the door frame. "What do you say Erin, will you bet on me?"

Her heart beat an erratic tattoo in her chest; she should fight, she should stomp on that bastard's foot and slam the door in his face. But she couldn't, her heart was caught in a net by the sincerity in his eyes. Hook, line and sinker.

"I don't know." She answered, using what little good sense he left her with "I'm not sure if it's worth it."  
>"You're not saying 'no," he challenged reaching for her hand.<p>

"I'm not saying 'yes' either," she retorted, yanking away from him, frustration leaking from her every pore,"you don't get it. My whole life has been uprooted because of what we did! One of us is going to lose their job and we both know if you have your way, I'll be the one to step down. I'd be putting my entire life in your hands, already I run the risk of losing the respect of my kids and uprooting their lives and for what!" Her voice softened "Why should I?"

Dave started to weigh his words, then stopped. The answer was painfully simple,  
>"Because we love each other," he replied softly.<br>"Get off my porch," she growled and pushed the door closed. At the last second, Dave stuck his foot in. "What are you doing?"  
>"We're not finished, Erin." Dave put his weight against the door and gave a shove. Standing in the foyer, Erin and Dave eyed one another warily. It was win, lose or draw, and neither was going to make it easy for the other.<p>

"I told you to leave."  
>"And I said we're not finished. I told you why we should try. Then you tried to slam the door in my face. I want to hear what you really have to say."<br>"You want to know how I feel," she snorted.  
>"Lay it on me." He said, spreading his arms wide, "No games, Erin total honesty."<br>With both hands on her hips, she nailed into him, he wanted honesty, and she aimed to please,  
>"I'm tired. Tired of being another notch on your bedpost I know you want to be a father. Twice after Carolyn destroyed you; you came crawling to me, but I can't be your back up plan anymore. I can't be the one to help you rewrite history."<p>

Acid washed his gut, this was going to end before they had the chance to begin. "What does Carolyn have to do with any of this?"

Erin shook her head, her voice lowered to barely a whisper,"She gave you James and I can't compete with that."  
>For the barest of seconds she could read the agony in his eyes; ripping his heart out and eating it in front of him, might have been less painful than using his dead son as a weapon against him. But it was too late to take it back.<br>His eyes hard in determination he glared at her, "Do you want know what your problem is? You can't stand the fact that I'm trying to do the right thing, that you can't play the victim of a Loveless Lothario and that makes you crazy!"  
>"That's what you're worried about!" She huffed, that figures. Of course his reputation at the water-cooler would be at the forefront of his mind. "Well, I can assure you that your bad name doesn't need any help from me. You can rest easy now," she promised, pulling the door wide.<br>He caught her wrist on the door frame. "I'm not done."  
>"Yes you are!"<p>

"Come on, Erin, give me one reason why we shouldn't be together. Aside from the fact that you're too damn stubborn to admit, that once upon a time you had feelings for me. Not just for me, you're too stubborn to admit that once upon a time you weren't so fucking frozen."

Heat crept up her neck and into her face, "Who the hell are you calling frozen?" Her voice took a deadly tone. "I'll tell you why we shouldn't be together, Rossi, I've never felt a damn thing for you except contempt."

Dave's eyebrow raised in a gesture of challenge, "If that was true, Sweetheart why did you end up in my bed?"  
>"I'm at my peak and you were easy." She shrugged her shoulders, this was the kind of sparing she was used to.<br>"There's a thin line between love and hate, try something else."

"What's the point in being married if we're going to make each other miserable?"  
>"We've never given our relationship any longer than one night. Try something else, Erin."<br>She eyed him, measuring her response, "Work. Your team, what will they think? I'm the boss who fucked their friend," she spat.

"So what? You said it yourself, you're stepping down anyway; and that's an excuse, a cop out. If you can't give me an answer, Erin, I swear that I am going to throw you over my shoulder and carry you down to Father Jimmy's and have him marry us."

"Prove to me that this is what you really want, and I'll consider your proposal," she said evenly.  
>"Okay. You want to play 'politician' and dance around the issue? I'll tell you why we should be together. We fit—we always have, we are fire and ice, Heaven and Hell rolled into two people-"<br>"For two people that 'fit' so well, we can't be in the same room without fighting!" She cut in.

"I'm not the on who's fighting!"  
>"Really? You're not? Well, I didn't think your voice could get any louder!"<p>

Dave yanked his hand through his hair in irritation,"I can't do this. I can't keep having you pull me in both directions and expect me to tell you what I'm doing and where I'm going with this. I try to tell you what I think you should hear, and you don't listen I'm like the broken compass you expect to tell you which way is north, then you bang me against the fucking wall when I get it wrong. You want me gone? Okay." Dave held up his hands in defeat. "Your wish is my command." He turned on his heel and yanked the door open.  
>"What do you want from me, Dave? Do you want me to hit my knees in gratitude because you offered to marry me out of obligation?"<p>

"You can't see the forest for the trees. I'm not the hurdle keeping you from happiness..." He sighed. "It's you. It's not whether I want you or why I want to marry you, it's that you don't want it."  
>"Who the hell do you think you are? The reason you want to get married is an issue-"<p>

His eyes held hers, "I know who I am, I'm the guy handing you my heart and soul on a platter. What does it matter why we get married when all I want to do is marry you. I'm asking. I'm begging. I'm pleading with you to marry me. I don't care about how we get to the finish line, but that we got there. You want to make this about you. And what I want isn't enough for you. The sad part is that it wouldn't be...no matter what. Goodbye, Erin." Dave slammed the door behind him.

The sound of the slamming door echoed through the living room, for the second time in less than a month she let him walk out on her. But this time he wasn't coming back.

"There you go, you got what you wanted, you told him to leave, and you've cost your child its father. Happy?" Her conscience berated.  
>Her knees went weak she sank into an armchair, as the reality of the situation set in. Waiting for the inevitable screech of the tires in her driveway. He didn't have to come here, this conversation didn't have to happen. She flew out of her seat and tore the door open, "David Rossi, we're not finished."<p> 


	6. Chapter Five

**Chapter 5**

_There are only two options regarding commitment. You're either in or you're out. There's no such thing as life in-between._

_-Pat Riley_

"Calm down," Dave said, reaching for her hand as he pulled the car into the parking lot of the clinic. "It's a doctor's appointment, not a lethal injection.

It was one week since she chased him down her driveway after what could only be described as the most volatile marriage proposal of the 21st history. And so far, no one was dead.

Erin pulled the visor down and straightened her sunglasses.

"I don't know what you're talking about," she said tightly; opening the car door.

"We'll go with that," Dave reached for the soda in the cup holder, "Do you need that?"

"I agreed to let you drive not—hover over me as though I have a terminal illness. I'm pregnant," she muttered and brought the bottle to her lips, "not dying."

The sun warmed liquid felt sticky on her tongue. Even with the air conditioner, her hair still clung to the nape of her neck.

She opened the door and stepped out of the car; and winced sharply as the ache in her head intensified. "Erin, are you okay?" Concerned, Dave grabbed her cool hand in his and held her close.

She nodded slowly in response, as they walked across the parking lot. "It's just the heat. And before you start, it is 85 degrees outside; a little heat exhaustion _is_ perfectly normal."

"You've been sick every day this week, shouldn't you at least mention it?"

"Now how could you possibly think that?" They lived in different houses and his office was one floor below hers.

His eyes twinkled, at how easy it was to ruffle her feathers, "There are certain perks to being me, Sweetheart. And if you don't bring it up to the women in a white coats, I will."

"Stop bribing my assistant," she griped, her health was no one's concern.

Dave shrugged, "Hey, whatever works, I can't be there all the time to to in your words, 'hover over you.'

Coming to a dead halt in front of the sliding door, she stared at him. "Contrary to your belief, I have done this before-"she huffed in annoyance.

"Then you won't mind my tagging along-"

Her lips pressed into a thin line of disapproval "Listen here, when you grow a uterus-"

He cut her off, "I can have an opinion?"

"You've got it." With a mocking pat to his chest, she walked into the doctor's office.

Dave shook his head and smiled, this was just the beginning and it could only get better.

Erin sat on the edge of the exam table clad in a thin paper gown, the rustling sound that accompanied her movements, grated on her nerves.

"So, what now?" Dave asked from his seat across from her she'd made sure he knew of his place in the room, damn near silent and almost invisible. He'd paced the hallway for the first part of the exam.

She looked towards the ceiling, counting the speckled tiles, "Now we wait."

As if on cue, the door swung open and Doctor Welby walked in.

"Erin, I have your results-"

"So, what's the verdict?" Dave cut in.

"Oh, is this your husband?" The doctor asked, catching sight of Dave, sitting in the corner.

Dave stood next to Erin and took her hand,"We're...negotiating." Erin said, the word fiancé tasted bitter on her tongue. And 'boyfriend' made her nauseous, that wasn't what they were. True, they'd come to an understanding but Webster didn't have a word for that.

"Good answer, Babe." Dave remarked, shaking the doctor's hand "David Rossi. What's the verdict, will two soon become three?"

The doctor cleared her throat lightly, after 25 years of caring for the aftermath; she was supposed to be immune to the charms of men.

She pulled a slip of paper from her pocket and turned to Erin, giving her a knowing smile.

"I've seen you through three healthy pregnancies, Erin. I think you know the answer to that question."

Erin smiled and nodded in response, "Well, thanks for that vote of confidence Mary. But it really would help to have it confirmed," She scoffed.

"You're about 7 weeks along." The doctor said.

Erin smiled. "David, you might want to rephrase your question to: "Am I ready to take on a woman with four kids?"

If his jaw dropped neither woman noticed, the air left him like he'd been hauled over by a semi. Of course he knew Erin had kids, but the pieces didn't fall into place until right then. The optimism he'd felt just a few minutes before, faded leaving a cloud of self doubt in its wake. Erin had three kids, no, not kids. Three teenagers who were, without a doubt still adjusting to the divorce of their parents. Throw in a new baby and another man, and it was asking for trouble.

Erin could practically feel Dave's walls between them as he drove towards the FBI compound. His jaw was tight like he was holding something back. Chewing on words before he said them. He'd held her hand on the way to the clinic, now both his fists clenched on the steering wheel. Maybe reality was setting in, he was finally seeing the bigger picture. His perfect fantasy was crumbling around him and she almost felt bad for him. _Almost._

"This isn't what you want, is it?" She asked, with one hand laying flat against her stomach. "You've changed your mind."

Tires screeched and the car careened onto the shoulder of the road. "Don't put words in my mouth, Erin. I never said that."

"You don't have to, I know you." She bit out. "You don't have to be a profiler to read your reaction. I'm sorry that my kids don't fit into your fantasy plan-"

Slamming the car in _park, _he said, "seriously? Stop, just stop trying to drive me away because it's not going to work."

"Then tell me, what will work? I need to know. Let me get it out-of-the-way and you can leave with a clear conscience. Tell me, so I can mend my heart now instead of months down the road. When you've changed your mind."

"Erin-"

She held up her hand to stop his protest. "Don't. Don't say it. Whatever it is. I heard it before, remember? You fed me the lines and the lies, and when it got too much and you couldn't dig yourself out you cut me off and married wife number two. How can you expect me to believe anything you say to me now."

His ears rang from her verbal assault, he had fallen in love with her once, a lifetime ago. Thoughts of what they could have been, haunted him until the day she married. After that, the thought of having it all with his former best friend's wife, was beyond comprehension.

"What do I have to do to make you stop trying to find the worst in me?"

Erin stared out the window for a long moment. Watching traffic speed past them she had planned for him to walk, to leave and never look back. Everything but this. Bowing her head, she closed her eyes briefly. A second later, she opened her eyes, and turned her head to nail him with her infamous death glare. "Simple. Prove it."

Feeling calmer than before, he put the car in _drive _and pulled back onto the highway. At least now he had something to shoot for. His mother always said he'd been charming women since the day he was born. And his divorce record cemented that theory, but now he was playing for keeps.

"What do you say, we start with lunch?"


	7. Chapter Six

**Chapter 6**

_To be wronged is nothing unless you continue to remember it._

_-Confucius _

Erin rapped sharply on the door of Dave's office, the flimsy cover art of the latest Rossi bestseller, threatened to tear in her grip. With a flip of her wrist she let herself in.

"I need a favor," she said, letting the door snap shut behind her.

He gave a noncommittal grunt barely looking up from his laptop. He had a book tour scheduled in Florida that he was trying to weasel out of. The whole team was flooded with paperwork and he couldn't leave them hanging with his, too.

"Pay attention, you'll like this." Giving him a chance to gloat wasn't on her To-Do list, but as everyone knows desperate times called for desperate measures. Dave gave another passing grunt, without looking up.

"Something only you can give," she continued, perching herself on the edge of the desk in front of him.

His eyes never left the screen, "Something only I can give?...You already have my sperm, what else is there?"

"Your signature." With a superior finger, she snapped the laptop closed.

He shook his head as a wry grin twisted his mouth. "You are way too comfortable in here." In the weeks since Erin gave him the ultimatum, 'Prove it, or Walk', Dave had tried to put some effort into their relationship. He invited her to lunch on a daily basis, but she wouldn't budge. In fact, she flat out refused. It was a no-win situation in his book.

"Did I miss something? Hotch would have brought me the report. What's going on?"

In answer to his question, she slapped the book down in front of him. "I didn't know you were a fan, Erin ." He reached for a pen and flipped to the cover page. "You know if I make this personal, the resale value drops once I kick the bucket."

"I look at your signature all day, so it makes no difference to me. My teenage daughter, however, wants you as the subject of her semester paper."

"Me?" His eyebrow raised in surprise and intrigue.

"Apparently she finds your ability to juggle two careers fascinating, but personally, I don't like it. I suggested Stephen King, Conan Doyle or James Patterson. King lives back East, Patterson is on tour and Doyle is dead..." She shrugged her shoulders in an attempt at nonchalance, "…so, it came down to you and King."

Dave's eyebrows shot up. "With the things that run through King's head, you would prefer that your 17 year old spend an afternoon with him over me?"

"In Kings defense, his books are fictitious and I haven't slept with him," she said, spreading her palms wide.

He shrugged his shoulders. How could he argue with her logic? "True."

"She wants a meeting. I figure an hour between consults next week should suffice." With that Erin hopped off the desk and breezed towards the door.

Dave rolled his eyes at her haughtiness. "It's going to cost you."

She wheeled around, her poker face in place. "Oh?"

"Dinner. Tonight. Before the kids get back."

Her shoulders dropped, like the implication of his words, was too much to bear. "David, I'm asking for an hour. Why does that come with a price?"

"No. You're asking for an hour when what you want is a lifetime. How do you expect to have that, if you refuse to spend any time with me?"

"Five days this week isn't enough?" she asked in a huff completely taken aback by his brazen behavior.

He hung his head in feigned sorrow. "Paperwork pick-ups just don't cut it anymore. I'm afraid you'll have to bite the bullet and share a meal with me."

Her spine stiffened. "I'm not looking for a relationship - with you or anyone else. That hasn't changed just because you decided this was the right thing to do."

"You told me to prove that I wanted you-"

The sharp clicking of heels on the tile, echoed as she flounced around to the side of his desk. Opening the drawer, she could smell his cologne from where he sat. Hints of leather and musk wafted into her nose. The hard wood of the desk pressed against her ribs.

"What are you doing?" he asked, watching her finger his treasured cigar box.

Her voice dropped to a near whisper, "When I said, 'prove it', I meant get healthy and exercise more. Prove you're prepared to be a father. If the results of your latest physical prove anything, you're not holding up your end of the bargain." She slid one lone black cigar deftly into her hand.

His eyes flickered from her determined expression to his precious stogie and back again. It wasn't looking promising for the cigar, he thought with a glimmer of hope that maybe he could salvage it after she left.

He stared up at her from his chair with his arrogance on full display. "Cut the bull shit, that's not what you said at all."

In one swift movement she broke the cigar in half and tossed it into the trash. "It's what I meant."

He grabbed her hand before she could pull away, and stared at her with eyes full of want. "Say what you mean next time - exactly how you mean it."

In one swift motion his lips covered hers, prying them apart with his tongue. Exploring the caverns of her mouth, he dared her to follow him on this journey of illicit pleasure that could result in both of them getting caught. His hands found her hips and lifted her on top of the desk.

Her stomach rolled as his tongue invaded her mouth. She pulled away sharply when acid coursed up her throat.

She pressed her hand to her lips. "Dave-"

"You broke my cigar; I'd say a kiss was fair payment."

"I'm – I'm going to be sick-"

In the nick of time the trash can appeared in front of her face. He gathered her hair away from her face as she gagged and choked.

'So much for that cigar'

"I've gotta say, that's a new reaction, I've never made a woman throw up before."

"No, just turn their stomachs," Erin said, raising her head to look at him. More retching followed as the smell of bile invaded her nose.

She drew a few shuddering breaths and attempted to slide down from the desk. Dave's firm hand on her arm stopped her. Her alabaster complexion turned to waxen and he could feel the sudden coolness of her skin through her jacket.

"Sit tight," his tone left no room for argument. He cast a pointed glare at her feet, "I don't want you to face plant as soon as those shoes touch the floor."

"I'm not even dizzy," she protested, "and there's nothing wrong with my shoes."

"Come crawl on my desk anytime you want, Sweetheart, but I'll never let you fall off it," Dave teased, getting to his feet. He wrapped his arm around her waist and helped her to her feet.

"Dave, I said I'm fine."

"But what you say and what you mean, are two completely different things," he retorted, narrowing his eyes.

To her horror, her head spun when her feet touched the floor.

He slowly guided her to the sofa. "Have a seat, I'll be right back."

She rolled her eyes. "You give me a migraine. Are you going to help Paige, or not?"

"I'll pick you up at seven," he stated as if it were matter of fact. "We'll have dinner, and I'll meet with Paige on Saturday. Besides," he cast another look at her waxy complexion, "you look like you could use a decent meal."

"An hour will be fine," Erin conceded, sounding more like a nervous parent than a woman in full control of the situation.

"An afternoon would be better - if the weather holds out we can meet at the park. I'll bring Mudgie. Tell Paul to bring his baseball glove," he said moving towards the door with the trash can in tow.

"Just so we're clear, this is just dinner, David."

He turned from the door, his eyes traveled slowly over her body, taking in her outfit. Not an inch of skin was visible through the black skirt and matching blazer. Complete with power pumps so high, they would make The Devil blush. "Something pretty is preferable. Sensible shoes are required."


	8. Chapter Seven

**Little children, headache; big children, heartache. ~Italian Proverb  
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Standing in front of the mirror, Erin gave a frustrated grunt and tried to fasten the skirt around her waist. She'd considered sweat pants and a dirty T-shirt. Just to spite David's request for _something pretty. _

She gave the zipper another yank. Nothing. Not even a budge. Taking a deep breath, she tried again. Nothing.

"Dammit!" she swore and attempted a fourth time. But no matter how much she tugged and pulled, it wasn't going to fit. In a word, her favorite skirt was history. And she wanted to cry.

"Dressing up is supposed to be fun," she muttered in defeat. The cell phone chiming from the bedside table drew Erin from her pity party. She picked it up and read the text message with a smile. Paige was on her way home. By the 17 year old's logic, 'On the way' could be twelve feet from the driveway or twelve miles.

Erin looked out the window and watched the little white car pull up.

"Don't text and drive." Erin cautioned under her breath – not that the advice was heeded. When the front door slammed and footsteps echoed up the stairs, she called out, "What did you forget?"

"Paul broke his flip-flop." Paige called, with determined steps through the hallway.

"How did that happen?" Erin asked, eying her reflection. She gave the skirt zipper another stubborn, pathetic pull.

"Playing soccer. Where are you headed, got a hot date?" Paige asked from the doorway. She eyed the pile of discarded clothes on her mother's bed.

"Hot date?" Erin scoffed. "Sure. If that's what you want call it."

Paige moved further into the room, "What would you call it?"

"A free meal."

"Ha-ha!" the teen muttered with sarcasm, "And none of this will work, you know," she stated, eying the clothes on the bed. "It's a date, not a funeral. Why wear all black?"

"I've gotten...fat and I'd like to hide it." Erin huffed. Fat. That was one way to describe it. The alternate scared the life out of her.

"Fat?" Paige cast a suspicious glance toward her mother's abdomen. It didn't take a profiler to see the teen wasn't buying her fib, "Is that what you want to call it? Did you talk to Agent Rossi?"

Erin nodded, relieved at the change of subject, "He…wants to meet with us on Saturday. My date requested something pretty, and nothing fits."

Paige moved toward the closet and started thumbing through the hangers. "Us?" she asked from inside the closet. The sound of hangers shifting on the metal rod gave an ominous sound.

"What?" Erin turned toward her, holding her skirt closed. "What did you say?"

Paige ducked her head out, "You said he wants to meet with us," then went back to her task.

Shaking her head, Erin answered, "You didn't think I'd let you go alone, did you?"

"Why not?" Paige's eyes widened in alarm. "Oh My God! He's not a creepo perv, is he?"

Erin chuckled at her daughter's reaction. Oh, if only she knew. "Far from it."

"Just fat my ass!" All color drained from Paige's face as she turned around with a maternity dress in hand. The truth slowly began to dawn on her.

"Paige-I...That was from-" Erin tried to find the words, but how did a parent go about telling her teenage daughter that she had gotten careless and slept with a man she wasn't married to, and ended up pregnant? Talk about irony.

"Two weeks ago!" Paige shrieked in horror, staring at the receipt stapled to the tag, "How could you do this to us?"

"Look." Erin started, "We're going to talk about this, all of us. And I'll tell you everything, but right now-"

"You have a date. Knocked up, with a date." Paige muttered, rolling her eyes. "I'm going back to Dad's," she whined. "This is so embarrassing!"

"Paige, you can stop with the histrionics, please. Just calm down and we can talk about this." Erin reached for her daughter's hand but was rebuffed as the teen drew back. It was clear in Paige's blue eyes that she was forever contaminated.

"Paul needs his flip flops." Paige stomped towards the door and threw her hands in the air. "Don't you realize what this means? You can't be a single parent at forty-five!"

"Come on, Paige, cut me some slack," Erin 's tone was equally frustrated. It was bad enough having wild pregnancy hormones, now she had to deal with teen angst. "It's not like I planned for this."

"Right. Okay, Mom. Just like you didn't plan to get caught with a liquor store hidden in your desk!"

Paige threw back with as much venom as she could muster. By the way Erin turned ghostly white, her words had hit their mark.

Erin sputtered for a response. "You didn't need to know about that-"

"Why not! Just like I don't need to know about this, right? This isn't some government secret you can just sweep under the rug when you come home, you know! Do you even know the guy who did this to you! I've heard of addicts trading one addiction for another, but sex!"

Erin put her hand up, silencing the interruption, "That's enough, young lady. I've always told you everything relevant to you and this family," she continued her tone left no room for argument. "You can't deny that, Paige."

It was true, from the moment her children were born, Erin treated them like little adults. The only things they didn't know, about their home life were the things they didn't need to be part of: her alcoholism and a marriage that crumbled around her feet were the two foremost on her list.

"What will my friends think? And you are supposed to be a role model," Paige's chin trembled as she tried to hold back her emotions. "I want to go to Dad's."

"Not until we talk. Please." God! Was she begging permission from her own teenage daughter? She had not only fallen into the proverbial rabbit's hole, but she was hitting bottom…fast!

"I don't know."

"We'll talk, I promise," Erin repeated, she watched her for daughter's expression to soften. Same jutted chin and cold stare she used on the BAU was thrown back at her. It was almost like looking in a mirror. "But for now, Paul needs his flip flops."

Tears gone, Paige picked up the rubber sandals before flashing her mother a defiant sneer, "Fine we'll talk."

Blinking back hot tears, Erin sat down on the side of the bed. A second later the sound of tearing fabric filled her ears. Then the dam broke.

Could this day get any worse?


	9. Chapter Eight

**Chapter Eight**

**It's all in his hands, he's the man.**

**- Serj Tankian **

Stepping into her heels, Erin heard the car pull into the driveway. She took another passing glance at the mirror hanging in the hallway. The eye drops seemed to have no effect concealing the fact she had been crying. She sighed. He was going to see through it, but that couldn't be helped now. The chime of the doorbell echoed through the quiet house signaling her date's arrival. He could wait. She reasoned. She swiped another layer of lipstick across her mouth before opening the door.

There he stood, dressed to kill. In his hand he held of all things, a pot of orchids. Stubborn thoughts invaded her mind. Lord help her, this was blackmail it was not a real date.

"I see you took my advice." Dave's eyes traveled down the length of her body for a second time, but his gaze seemed to be taking its time as he drank her in. There was no mistaking the way his eyes paused on her breasts for a full second as he took in the way the pink material clung to her recently acquired curves. She looked fantastic. His hand itched to grab hers and spin her around, just to watch that dress flair up and award him a view of her perfect calves. "And it seems I chose the right color."

The charcoal gray suit coat set against his complexion would have made a lesser woman swoon. It didn't help her theory that the stripes on his tie matched her dress. "What a coincidence..."

A strange silence settled over them he stood on the porch with her in the foyer. Two competent, well read adults with years of shared history were reduced to a cliched awkward silence.

The irony was almost too much to bear. Before Dave held out his hand. "I brought you something." He looked down at his watch. "We should go, we have reservations," he explained.

Erin turned and set the pot on the table. "I'll just get my purse."

"It's funny," Dave said as he held open the car door. "Seeing you with...a.. that." He motioned to the soft pink clutch that hung from her shoulder. "I imagined it more like a briefcase."

"Nope, sorry to disappoint." She smoothed the back of her dress and climbed inside the car. "Keys and lipstick won't fill a briefcase."

Erin fastened her seat belt then reached for the radio dial. Dave stopped her hand.

"Whoa! My car, my call on the music."

"Excuse me," Erin threw back at him in her best 'don't mess with me' tone, "I'm your guest-albeit a guest who was coerced into a date. I get radio station rights," she jabbed a thumb at her chest. Dave considered a response, but quickly squashed it. She could be armed, he warned himself. Instead, he turned the key. "If you choose The Beatles or rap, you are paying for dinner."

"Paul McCartney?"

"No. Sinatra."

"Nancy?"

"No. Frank."

"Barry Manilow," Erin threw back. As she clicked through the stations. She clicked the search feature and Dean Martin's 'Everybody Love's Somebody Sometime' flooded the small space.

"Oh that's just wrong!" She muttered under her breath.

Queen's 'Bohemian Rhapsody' cut through the chorus. "Are you serious!" Erin exclaimed, choking on laughter.

"This car was leased," he said evasively turning the dial.

"Bullshit. We both know you drove it right off the lot."

The Carpenters played over the rock opera. "Do you want to change it? I'm fine if you are."

"This is good." Conversation halted by the melodious sound of the song. Keeping his eyes on the road, Dave guided the car down the long streets of Dale City toward downtown. Neither spoke as though to do so would ruin the moment. Pulling the car under the canopy outside the restaurant, he put the engine in park and stepped out. Walking around to the passenger door, he touched the handle only to be stopped.

"Don't."

"I was just going to help you."

"I can do it myself."

"Erin-" Dave was interrupted by a tall man in a white outfit. Oblivious to the underlying current running between the pair, he stepped over and pulled up the handle.

"Thank you," Erin said as the valet held open her door. Straightening her dress, she gave the young man a smile.

"Why is it okay for him to help you, but not me?" Dave asked, as they entered the restaurant. The smell of freshly baked bread drifted from the kitchens and Erin was suddenly ravenous. How long had it been since she had eaten? From the sound of her stomach, it had been hours.

"That's his job," she replied evenly. "Besides, you held the door."

"Not the car door."

"It wasn't as heavy."

"That's not the point, Erin. You've had a rough day I'm offering to help," he said, holding out her chair. She followed his lead a jolt of panic invaded her chest when she realized no one had shown them to a table.

"Dave..." She didn't know where to start, and she sure didn't want to fight.

"If you want, I can go outside and get the valet and let him do this," his eyes twinkled with mischief.

"That's not what I mean. You can't walk into a crowded restaurant and sit down at the table of your choosing..."

"Long time no see, Dave." An older man with an apron slung over his shoulder came over and clapped Dave amicably on the back "I was starting to think you forgot about us!"

"Criminals finally decided to cut me a break." Dave shook the man's hand. "What's the special of the day?"

"Anything you want, just ask. Who is your date?"

"Erin Strauss, meet Max Price." Dave introduced.

"You always did have good taste, Davy." Max leaned in and shook Erin's hand and she noticed the specks of flour and marinara sauce on his apron.

"He has terrible taste, and I'm his boss," she corrected.

Max's eyebrows raised. So she said, but he would bite his tongue. "Ah, a workplace meeting, I see. Well I hope you weren't thinking of giving him a raise."

"Only if it involves my foot," Erin replied sweetly, but there was no denying her underlying tone. Max laughed loudly.

"She's a keeper, that's for sure! So sit and order, I'll have it out to you. Good seeing you, Davy."

"He's friendly," Erin said, once Max was out of hearing range. She picked up the menu and glanced at it quickly. The sudden urge to have a steak filled her.

"We were in boot-camp together, but his knees gave out and they sent him home."

"Are you ready to order?" the waitress asked, her pen poised above what appeared to be a computer tablet.

"Erin?" Dave prompted.

"Prime rib, medium rare, Baked potato, loaded. Salad, ranch," she recited quickly.

Dave nodded. "Make it two." He handed the menus to the waitress. "You made a good choice."

But Erin wasn't listening. She twisted her fingers around the stem of her water glass, wondering what the friendly restauranteur and David's lifelong friend thought of her. What did he mean by 'Dave always had good taste'? How many other women had shared this same experience?

"You should eat," Dave's voice cut through her thoughts as he passed her the bread basket. Erin took a roll and broke off a piece. Mechanically she chewed and looked down at her watch.

"Trying to plan your escape?"

"Wondering what is taking them so long." A moment later their salads were set down. Eagerly, Dave dug into his with gusto. Realizing her own insecurity had killed her appetite, Erin stabbed at the lettuce with apathy.

"What's going on with you?" Dave asked.

"Dave..." Again she didn't know how to start without sounding like a pathetic and jealous teenager.

He leaned in as close as the candles on the table would allow, "I'm listening."

"How many women have you brought here?"

"Max is an accomplished chef and a good man, but he doesn't know me half as well as he thinks. I've never brought a date here."

The corners of her lips turned up in a half-smile, "What about your boss?"

"She's different."

A glass of scotch appeared in front of Dave before Erin could reply.

"I didn't order this," Dave said, addressing the waitress.

"Compliments of the Chef. He sent this as well," the server answered as she placed a glass of red wine in front of Erin.

"Please thank him and tell him that I don't drink," she deflected out of habit. But she could almost imagine the taste of the full-bodied wine on her tongue and the warm feeling it would invoke. She reached out to touch the stem and caught Dave's look.

"I'm sorry..." the waitress's voice trembled.

"Take it back." Dave ordered more briskly than he intended and hand back the scotch.

The young woman reached over to remove the wine glass, "My sincerest apologies..." She was cut off by a jolt from behind as she was pushed against the table. Trying to regain her balance, her fingers lost hold of the wine glass. Too late to catch it, the contents spilled onto Erin's lap. A large gasp filled the room as all eyes turned toward the couple.

Erin looked down in horror, the rich full-bodied wine she'd imagined was all over her dress and she wanted to be sick. Dave jumped from his seat and hurried to her side, "Are you alright?"

She swallowed hard against the lump in her throat, "I'd like the check."

"I—I'm so sorry, Ma'am...The waitress stammered- I'll get that cleaned up right away."

Dave threw the waitress a cold stare that said 'get a move on it'.

"And bring the check."


	10. Chapter Nine

**Chapter Nine**

**_Grow old with me, the best is yet to _****_be_**

**_-Robert Browning _**

"All I've done for two weeks is cry and throw up," Erin said, accepting the handkerchief Dave offered. As he pulled away from the restaurant he threw a glance at the woman beside him. "I reek of a bar and I can't go home without an argument breaking out," she continued as she mopped her eyes.

"Maybe it's hormones," Dave offered cautiously. "It takes a while for your body and emotions to get in sync." At least he hoped it was true. But what did he know? The last woman to have their hormones change filed for divorce two weeks after leaving the hospital.

"No, no," she sobbed, shaking her head in disagreement. "It's more than that; I know hormones. He knows."

"Who knows?" Dave asked, concern laced his tone. "What is it?"

She swallowed hard, trying to reign in her emotions, "If I had any doubt of paternity, I don't now."

In answer to his blank look, Erin continued, "Your child is trying to torture me from the inside. All because I'm not in love with you."

He tried not to let his heart crack as her words hit him hard. He already knew she looked at him the way he saw his back yard after Mudgie's found a rubber ball and destroyed it. But it was a hell of a lot harder to deny something after it was confirmed. He tried not to take it personally by reminding himself that she was under emotional duress. He took a calming breath and tried to stomp the hurt out of his ego.

"I think you're right..." he muttered, after a long stretch of silence. "You can't help whom you love or, in your case, whom you don't love...but I don't think it's the baby. It's your conscious."

She hadn't realized the car had stopped in his driveway. "David...I have nothing to feel guilty over..."

"You slept with a man you weren't married to and you got pregnant. Erin, face facts: It's your guilt because you refuse to put any effort into a relationship with me." he continued in the same soft inviting tone she'd heard him use to glean information from criminals. "And the only way you're going to feel better is to try."

He turned off the headlights and reached for her hand, "Come inside. I have stain lifter; we'll get that out." He motioned to the ugly violet patch against the pink material of her dress. "Then I'll take you home."

He never looked at her, but the gentle sincerity in his voice was undeniable. He was always felt the urge to rush right into things, she preferred to dip a toe in the water before diving in head first. But maybe this time jumping in and landing with both feet was exactly what she needed?

"Okay," she muttered and reached for the door handle.

He came around the car, and this time, she let him hold the door.

"Be careful on the steps," he warned, reaching for his keys and unlocking the door. "Watch out for Mudgie too." Excited clicking of nails on hardwood floor sounded and the black lab rushed towards Erin at breakneck speed. With his pink tongue wagging.

"Whoa-no, Boy." Dave caught the dog around the collar before he could jump. "You could sit down or Mudgie could plow you down. And- we can add dog drool to the list of stains."

Erin glanced down toward the warmth against her hip in disgust, "Well it used to be pretty..."

"Come on," he offered, reaching for her hand, "I'll give you the grand tour." He slipped his shoes off against the wall at the foot of the stairs.

"No shoes on the carpet, huh..." she quipped, stepping out of her heels. "I knew you were picky, but that's pushing it."

"When I'm home, I'm lazy, and these," he picked up her shoe and let it dangle off his finger sniffing in distaste, were not meant for pregnant women on the stairs."

"Are you going to show me the house or complain about my wardrobe?" She rolled her eyes toward the ceiling.

"I'm multitasking." His eyes flickering with hidden amusement.

"What is so funny?"

"Well, if someone had told me that we would be doing this again, I would have laughed in their face."

"You?" She poked him in the chest. "How do you think I feel?"

He led her up the stairs and down the hall, the plush carpet felt like heaven against her feet. "What do you think about this room for a nursery?" Dave pushed open a door on the left of the hall and led them inside. "A coat of paint and some furniture..." He let the offer hang as she surveyed the room.

Hard wood covered the floor and the double windows offered plenty of natural light against the beige walls. "Dave..." she started, for the third time that night, she didn't know what to say. "This is all happening so fast..."

"I don't expect you to live here if you don't want to, but our child deserves a nice place to sleep. And if you don't like this room, I have five others."

"I never thought an empty room, with bare walls, could seem girly; but this one does it." He opened another door. Pale carpet covered the floor and moonlight reflected through the bay windows."That's storage, too." He stepped inside and pulled out the empty drawer under the window seat, "see?"

"It's a beautiful house," she thought back to the arched entrance to the living room downstairs and the way the stairs curved in a way that brought her back to another time. "It's almost like it's from another world."

"It's not what you expected?"

She shook her head, "No, you've always had an eye for details."

"Were you expecting suits of armor?" He joked.

"Maybe a torture chamber."

"That's the wine cellar. But," he put his hand up, "I'll sell the wine if you decide to move in."

She took in a breath, that was not what she expected, "You don't have to."

"I saw your face when that bimbo spilled that on you," he bit out. "Max shouldn't have..."

"Max had nothing to do with what happened," Erin interrupted. "He had no idea that I am a recovering alcoholic, and he was being polite. You owe him an apology."

"I was only watching out for you," Dave protested.

"And I am a grown woman who can take care of herself. The wine dumping on me was no big deal. If you think it is, then you haven't been puked on by a baby."

"I will have my chance...soon."

"Not unless you apologize to him and the waitress. And that apology includes me staying here tonight." She felt her second wind coming back.

"Okay," Dave conceded. "I will make it up to him tomorrow. I promise."

"And the waitress."

He nodded. "I will send her flowers. Damn, woman, you drive a had bargain," he groused.

"That is why I am the BAU Chief, and you are still working under Agent Hotchner," she replied glibly. "Now which room is this?"

"This is the master suite." He led them inside and leaned against the cherry four-poster. "Let me help you out of that dress," he offered with a mischievous smile.

"I'm fine." She glanced down at her soiled dress and bare feet and laughed. "I look like Cinderella at the end of the night," she said. Dave rummaged through the dresser drawer and pulled out a pair of silk pants and an old Marine Corp T-shirt.

"Did you land the prince?" he asked, passing her the clothes.

She turned towards the bathroom and said, "It's too soon to tell..."

He shook his head, watching her move. Who knew pregnant women could still flounce?


	11. Chapter Ten

**_The course of true love, never did run smooth_**

**_-William Shakespeare _**

"Showers are amazing," Erin sighed contentedly, running the towel over her hair. "Would have been better if I hadn't had to use Irish Spring."

"It's a good soap," Dave protested. "I've used it for years."

"I can tell since you have at least twenty bars in the towel closet. Have you thought about maybe getting something different?"

"As in...something feminine?" He raised an eyebrow, "The rules aren't getting bent that much, Sweetheart.

"Move over," Erin ordered and tried to sit down.

"Bossy much? Or is it a side effect of pregnancy?" Dave stood and made room for her on the sofa.

"And the soap wouldn't be for you, Smart ass."

Dave shrugged, "Then say what you mean, Erin." He turned his attention back to the task at hand.

Erin strained to look at what had him so occupied. "What are you doing?"

His finger moved over the I-pad., "Ordering flowers."

"For the waitress?"

"I always keep my promises..."

"Let me see." She leaned over to look at the screen. "Hmmm...send her these." She pulled up a bouquet of pink and yellow mums.

"Okay...I'm game," his profiler instinct kicked in, "why those?"

"Because," Erin shrugged, "I saw the way she was eying you and mums are something you send to your grandmother."

"Do I sense a bit of the green eyed monster lurking in you?" Dave wondered with an astonished look.

"N-no-" she sputtered. "I was just pointing out the obvious."

"Mums for a twenty-something because those are the flowers one would send their grandmother," Dave mused. "I'll send carnations instead." He tapped the screen twice. "There, done. I don't know about you, but I'm starving." His stomach grumbled loudly, to prove the point.

"Pizza..." Erin muttered, sinking deeper into the sofa. The steak on the counter was all but forgotten.

Dave chuckled, "Why do I get the feeling you're speaking for someone else?"

"Green peppers, mushrooms and sausage," she continued as an after thought, "and make it a deep-dish."

He reached for the phone book. "That's my boy!" he praised.

"Don't forget the anchovies," Erin called out at the last moment. Dave's finger stopped dialing.

"You're kidding me. No son of mine is putting fish on a perfectly good pizza." He eyed Erin stomach with disdain. "It must be your mama's genes."

"Or maybe it's a girl. They say that girls create weird cravings."

"Well, you can have it with hot sauce, ice cream, and pineapple with barbeque sauce, but you are not putting fish on my pizza."

"You can pick them off."

"Have you seen anchovies? They contaminate everything! You can't just pick them off," Dave argued. "They linger," he muttered in disgust.

"They do not!" she scoffed indignant that he would dismiss her cravings so abruptly. "And anyway, you're out numbered."

His eyes narrowed. "How do you figure? Mudgie doesn't get a vote." He threw a perplexed look towards the dog lounging at Erin's feet.

She laid a hand against her slightly rounded abdomen, "Two brains, two votes. Majority rules."

With a long-suffering sigh, he dialed the number. "I am out numbered."

"Get used to it. Get two pizzas."

–  
>An hour and a pizza-and a half later, Dave was sorting the leftovers in the fridge. "I never thought I'd say this, but anchovies aren't half bad, with enough cheese."<p>

"If you think that's bad, you should have seen it while I was pregnant with Paul. I had peanuts on everything. Poor Mark."

"That's not so bad," Dave sat beside her on the sofa.

"It is when your husband is fatally allergic," she groused. She shouldn't have any joy with Mark's condition, but at the same time he had made her life a living hell. Maybe her peanut craving had been an accident. Maybe.

Dave chuckled, "You mean, you had the chance to end him and get away with it and you didn't take it?" He flashed her a look of pretend surprise.

"No, and trust me on that. Although, my son was born to defy his father."

"As I remember, Mark failed out of the academy he couldn't handle the physical demand."

"And Paul plays every sport imaginable," Erin finished.

At some point, his arm had fallen around her and she found herself enjoying the closeness.

"This one is going to have a lot to live up to," Dave boasted without shame.

"He will have a good teacher." Dave gave a short laugh. "What's so funny?" Erin remarked.

"We finally agree on something."

"Huh..." She let it sink in, "I guess it is possible."

"Miracles will never cease."

"Relish in it, Mr. Italian Stallion; I'm still not going to bed with you."

"Damn," he snapped his fingers, "and here I thought I was being charming."

"You might want to work on that, Agent Rossi."

"Will you at least let me tuck you in?" Dave pouted.

"Sure," Erin said, smiling sweetly, "in your dreams. Goodnight, David."

She headed for the stairs, with Mudgie on her tail.

"Goodnight, Erin." He muttered, turning out the lights he set the alarm. In the morning he would bring her decaf and cook breakfast before taking her home. She deserved it after the night she had. She'd won over his dog, taken over his pizza and stolen his heart. All in one fell swoop.

"You look like hell," Erin remarked, from the top of the staircase.

Dave rubbed his breastbone from his seat at the kitchen table. "Was that supposed to be a compliment?" He asked with a grimace.

"More or less an observance. What's wrong?"

He rubbed his chest and let out a small belch. "Those damn anchovies of yours came back to haunt and kept me awake all night."

She stepped off the stairs and reached for her purse hanging on the chair, "Here," she offered, pulling out a roll of TUMS.

"Thanks, but no thanks. I'm heading down to the store for something stronger. Last damn time I let you choose the toppings," he muttered under his breath and reached for his keys.

"I heard that." She threw over her shoulder, reaching for a plate from the cabinet.

"Good, because I meant it."

"Do you want breakfast or are you going to whine all morning?" She opened the fridge and pulled out a Coke. "Drink this."

"Been there, done that. And I'll skip breakfast, thanks. I can't seem to get the fish smell out of my nose."

She rolled her eyes. "No one forced you to eat it."

"The damn leftovers are in the fridge, Erin; the damn box smells like week old fish."

"Don't take it out on me, because you can't handle a little heartburn, go take your Prilosec like a good boy and leave me with my breakfast." She pulled out the pizza box.

"Jesus, Erin," he made a face and rubbed his chest harder. "I really have to go," his nose wrinkled in disgust, "enjoy that."

"Go on."

As the door shut behind him, Dave distinctly heard her mutter, "What a big baby."


	12. Chapter Eleven

**Chapter Eleven**

**_The future is no more uncertain than the present._**

**_Walt Whitman_**

Dave leaned back in his chair and pinched his nose, willing the pounding between his eyes to fade. His desk was cluttered with paperwork that seemed to build like the pressure in his head. The clock on the wall slowly ticked past 8pm. It tortured him with each second that passed. In defeat, he lowered his pen and rubbed the ache from his shoulder. A sharp knock on the door thundered painfully through his head.

He took a deep breath and tried to calm his stomach. "Come in," he called, clearing his throat.

Hotch stepped inside. "Dave, what are you still doing here?" he admonished with genuine concern. Was Dave looking a little gray, he wondered. Looking again from a different angle, he surmised that it had to be the lighting in the room.

"I could ask you the same thing," Dave leveled. "It's a Friday night. What happened to pizza weekends with Jack? "

"I was waiting for you." Hotch peered over the desk at the neat stacks of reports, less than half were completed. Unconsciously, Dave and Reid raced to see who could get their reports in faster. Reid had turned his in hours ago. Hotch took a seat in the chair across from the desk. "A lot has changed, how are you holding up?"

"Do you want the reports or are you here to profile me?"

"Both." Hotch threw back, nonplussed by his friend's bad mood. "You're having trouble focusing." He glanced towards the reports. The stack was only a quarter less than what he had seen at noon.

"It's been a long week." Dave's hand scrubbed his brow. He felt a sudden chill rush over him.

Hotch didn't miss the way his friend broke out in a sweat."You look like you're catching something. Take a few days off."

"Is this an order?" Dave asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Does it have to be?"

Dave rolled over with a groan, wrestling his arm from under Mudgie. Blindly he tapped the phone and held it to his ear. Ending the blaring noise of the ringer.

"Are you kidding me?"

He recognized Erin's voice immediately, "Good morning to you, too."

'I come to work with morning sickness, but Agent Hotchner sends you home at the first sign of a cold!"

"I have no idea what you're talking about." Dave muttered, rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

"It says, and I quote: 'Agent Rossi displays lack of focus and a general feeling of unwell. I've ordered him to take some time off until these issues are resolved' end quote," Erin said, reading the report in front of her.

"Hotch thinks I'm unfit for the field?"

"Apparently. Are you sick?" she asked without care. She had better things to worry about than the status of his acid reflux.

Dave thought back to the episode with anchovies and the near constant ache in his arm that followed. Other than the headache the night before, he still felt about the same.

"No. Not rea-"

"Good," she interrupted. "Agent Donalds called in; his wife took a turn for the worst. Can you teach his class?"

"Today?"

"Yes, today. And until further notice."

"I'm in," he automatically replied, but his heart wasn't in it.

"Thank you."

"You sound stressed," Dave observed. Covering the mouth piece, he burped and found the pressure on his stomach had lessened.

"I'm at work-"

"And...?" he prompted.

"You should be, too." The line went dead in his ear.

He rolled out of bed and glanced towards the 70 pound dog sprawled across the mattress where his left arm should be. That explained a lot.

-  
>"What's with you?" Dave asked, taking a seat in front of Erin's desk.<p>

"You have a class to teach, Agent Rossi," she said sternly without glancing up from her reports.

"In an hour," he countered, stretching his legs out in front of him. " Are there..." he weighed his words carefully, "...troubles at home?"

Her head snapped up. There was no mistaking the daggers in her eyes. "Excuse me?" she returned in the coldest tone he had ever heard.

"You canceled my meeting with Paige."

"So? I'm her mother, that was my right."

"Is she interviewing Stephen King instead?" The hint of envy in his voice was undeniable.

"Are you jealous?" She scoffed, returning her attention back on the reports.

"What if I am?" he challenged. What could he tell her? That many years ago Stephen had promised to write an intro to one of his books only to back out at the last minute 'citing a conflict of interest'?

"Why should you be?" She glanced up again. A shrug of her shoulders was her way of dismissing him. "He's rich and famous, you're rich and famous. I don't see the problem."

"He's got the chance of a lifetime, a chance to meet your kid! I want that!"

A pregnant pause invaded the office. Dave looked down at his hands on the desk, his feet were flat on the floor and Erin stood across from him. His declaration stunned them both into silence and brought them both to their feet.

"She knows, David. She found out about the baby and took off for her father's. Right now Mark is the lesser of two evils. She's made her choice and it doesn't involve me," her tone was pitiful, but Dave knew whiny when he heard it.

"So, that's it?"

"That's it. You have a class to teach," she said, softly.

For a full minute Dave bit his tongue and tried form a proper response that wouldn't have standing in front of the disciplinary board for insubordination. "And you need to remember that you are a parent and have a bratty teenager to talk to."

With that, he turned on his heel and marched out of the office.


	13. Chapter Twelve

**The Power of Love**

Dave pinched his nose and closed his eyes. He leaned back in the jet's leather seat. He missed field work, but the high altitude of the flight made his stomach spin. There was no denying he wasn't feeling well, but the team didn't need to know about it.

"Dave, are you alright?" Hotch asked with concern. The week off he ordered had backfired, forcing Dave into a classroom. He still looked a little gray and as hard as he tried to hide it, Dave lacked his usually infectious vigor.

"It's nothing-" Dave muttered, absently rubbing his shoulder. "Reid, do you have any more antacids?"

"I thought you were a good flyer." Reid said, passing him the bottle from his bag.

"I am," Dave argued. "Bad shrimp. Heh. That's the last time I order room service from a place with polyester blend sheets," he griped and tossed three of the chalky tablets in his mouth.

"Serves you right," Reid rambled. "Cross contamination runs wild at late night buffets. It's usually due to lack of proper temperature control and monitoring "

"That's enough, Pretty Boy," Morgan cut in. "We thank you for the health and safety lesson," he quipped sarcastically.

"But, it's common sense." Reid muttered under his breath.

"No one else got sick." JJ chimed in.

"Well, the immune system tends to get weaker as we age," Reid recited from memory. "The viruses and contaminates that we can throw off tend to attack older people."

"Thanks, Reid," Dave muttered, "I really needed that." He pulled his briefcase onto his lap. "I think I'll work on my manuscript."

* * *

><p>Dave gave an annoyed sigh at the knock on his office door. "Hey, Dave," Hotch popped his head through the door, "you got a minute?"<p>

"Hotch, I have a lesson plan to write up," he bit out, without a glance in his friend's direction.

"This won't take long," Hotch took a seat in front of his friend and mentor and waited for him to close the laptop.

"What is it?" Dave closed the laptop irritably.

"When is the last time you had a good night's sleep?"

"Last night, as a matter of fact. I had a 70 pound dog on my arm and slept like a baby..."

"So, you woke up every two hours?" Hotch quipped. "You had some bad shrimp, did you ever get that checked?"

"It's nothing to worry about," Dave protested. "When I say I'm fine, I'm fine."

Hotch gave him a scathing look. "So, you put it off."

"Put what off? It's nothing."

"Then you won't have a problem getting a check-up," Hotch threw back. "I was a prosecutor, Dave, we can do this all day."

Dave huffed, knowing when he was beat, "Fine. But look how your last order turned out. I was dumped in a classroom."

"Strauss will get over it, and if she can't, she can take it up with the director. I'm ordering you to see a physician. If you drop dead, I will write you up for dereliction of duty. Is that understood?"

"You're the boss."

"And don't you forget it." Hotch took out his phone and scanned the calender. "Call me when you get an appointment."

* * *

><p>"Paige!" Erin called, letting herself inside her ex husband's house. She called Mark and gave him a brief synopsis of the situation. How their daughter refused her phone calls and all text messages went unanswered. He handed over the key and left for work. If not for her convenience, then to get the teenager out of his house. He was a free man who fulfilled his court ordered obligations.<p>

Paige stormed down the stairs, the pulsing beat of heavy metal music echoed from the bedroom."What are you doing here?!"

"It's been three weeks, Paige," Erin said sternly, leveling the teenager's stony glare. "We need to talk."

"Uh, no we don't," Paige dismissed in her usual flat tone. "Besides, we have nothing to talk about."

"What the hell?" Erin reached out to touch her daughter's newly dyed blonde hair. "Purple?! Have you lost your mind?"

"It's in my color chart. Look, it was either this or green. Okay?" Paige shrugged indifferently.

Erin shook her head. "Good call," she muttered, trying to bridge the rift between them. "If you wanted green hair you could have put your head in a swimming pool for half the price."

"My friend did it for free. Does that make it better?" Paige drawled sarcastically. "God forbid that I spend any of your money for my wants; you might need it for your baby."

"That's not what I meant, Paige and you know it."

"So what _did_ you mean?" Paige's voice choked as she failed to hold back her emotions. "What are you even doing here?"

"I just...I want..." Erin stammered. "Please come home."

"I don't want to." Paige's jaw jutted stubbornly. Instead, she focused on the flies circling the pizza box on the counter.

"Is that your dinner?" Erin inquired. Her eyes didn't miss the grease stained cardboard and the insects trying to get inside. And her heart dropped at the thought of her child starving.

"And if it is?" Paige challenged with faux stubbornness.

"Aren't you tired of pizza? McKenzie told me that's all you eat now."

"If I was tired of it, why would I eat it?" Paige felt her stomach clench in hunger.

Erin shrugged. "It looks to me that you're out of options." She glanced at the take-out menus that littered the counter. "Did your dad leave money?"

"Why do _you_ care?"

"I'm still your _mother,_ and I'm going to take you to my home for a hot meal." If nothing else, she would appeal to her daughter's appetite.

"Oh really," Paige gave a snort, "who's cooking?"

"Come home and find out," Erin offered. "Your cat is going crazy without you."

"Is Paul cleaning the litter box?" Paige asked, worriedly.

"Every day."

"Oh." The teenager's eyes dropped to the floor. "Good."

Erin looked around her surroundings: dirty dishes were piled sky-high and the smell in the kitchen was enough to turn her stomach. "It's Friday, come with me for the weekend."

"No. I don't want to be there."

Erin felt her heart crack at her child's rejection. "Why?"

"Be-because- I can't stand it there," she stammered childishly. "I can't stand the thought of you having a baby; people will think it's mine!"

"What do you suggest I do, Paige? Put the baby up for adoption because it might embarrass you?" Erin returned with just a bit of anger in her tone.

"Women still have the right to choose," Paige volleyed back in spite. "And I'm sure it isn't too late."

Erin sucked in a breath sharp breath. "How can you be so cruel?"

"It's not cruel, Mom. It's...it's...benefiting."

"For whom? You?" Erin tried not to throw up.

"Everyone!" Paige stormed angrily. "You go and get yourself knocked up, and you expect me to accept it like it's a great thing."

"It _is_ a great thing," Erin said, without conviction.

"Oh really?" Paige challenged. "Good luck convincing Paul. Remember the last time something like this happened? He was kicked out of school because you couldn't keep it together! You got to run away to rehab and I got stuck holding the bag."

Erin felt her blood run cold at the mention of the case that nearly ended her career. Her golden boy threw his first punch at the son of the Police Commissioner. "You weren't alone in that," Erin argued. "We all suffered."

"Yeah, Mom, keep telling yourself that." Paige sniffed indifferently and rolled her eyes. "Dad didn't. He took off as soon as you were gone. He paid the bills and left a credit card on the table. We didn't see him again until the day you came home."

"So, what are you doing here? Why do you insist on living with him when he abandoned you when you needed him most?" Erin said hotly.

"Because you can't handle the kids you already have!"

"Clearly," Erin fired back, resting her hip against the counter. "I thought I raised you better than this."

"Don't start, Mom. The poor pitiful me act is getting old."

* * *

><p><em>-There are times when parenthood seems nothing but feeding the mouth that bites you.<em>  
><em><span> Peter De Vries<span>_

**Author's note: Criminal Minds is owned by CBS and affiliates. **


	14. Chapter Thirteen

**_When you are a mother, you are never really alone in your thoughts. A mother always has to think twice, once for herself and once for her child. _**

**_-Sophia Loren - _**

"Fine," Erin sighed in defeat with her hand on the doorknob. "You walked out of my house...I guess you know how to come back... "

"Just-go, Mom," Paige growled, her eyes flashed with unspoken anger.

"I love you, Paige. No matter what." Erin tried to keep the pleading out of her voice, but it managed to creep in.

"I just-I can't do this, Mom. Just- leave!" Paige turned her back toward Erin just in time to hide the tears she swore she didn't have anymore.

Erin took one longing look at her daughter and let herself out and closed the door quietly behind her. With a sinking feeling, she realized she'd walked out on her daughter. The thought made her skin crawl, parents weren't supposed to leave their children behind. But she had, and she was doing it again by deliberately driving past the exit that would lead her back home. She hit the button on the car's hands free device and dialed her home number. Paul answered on the second ring.

"Hey, we just got here. Where are you?" He sounded worried. She wondered why that put more guilt in her heart instead of hope.

"I'll be home soon, Honey," she made a weak excuse. "Paige is..." Just the mention of her daughter's choices put a knot in her throat. She cleared it away and spoke again. "Paige is staying with Dad for a while. So, set the table for three, please."

"Why? She hates it there."

"I know, but she wants to stay."

"What happened, Mom? What did you say to her?" Paul stormed. His voice boomed through the small space of the car. "Why can't-"

"Don't yell at me, Paul; I am still the parent," Erin interrupted in a tone that warned him he had crossed the line. Almost immediately Paul's tirade stopped. "We will talk when I get home."

Suddenly calm, Paul took a deep breath. "There's only reason Paige would take off for Dad's." He left the statement hanging.

"That's not the only reason and I'm not discussing it here with you."

"I'm sorry... Mom...I just...I'm sorry. I love you, Mom. Hold on Paige just texted me."

She's probably informing you that your mother is a whore, Erin thought bitterly. "I love you, too. I'll be home soon. Don't defrost anything because I'm bringing dinner."

Paul hung up and Erin dialed another number. Dave barely beat the voicemail.

"Hey," he said, slipping off his shoes. He sat on the couch and held the phone away. Yawning abruptly he said, "I'm surprised you called."

"I took your advice." She pulled into the parking lot at KFC and turned off the car.

Dave perked up. "Oh, really? That's a first. On what?"

"Parenting," Erin said ruefully.

"And, how did that go?"

She pictured the way he raised his eyebrow in that self- important way that infuriated her. "And there's a reason I don't listen to you. I walked out on Paige." Hearing the bitter truth escape from her lips, she felt her heart crack for the second time in as many hours. When did she get so sensitive?

"What happened?" he asked, always the picture of concern.

"She's angry. So...angry. David, I've never seen her so mad at me."

"She's a kid," Dave shrugged. "At 17 she's a raging mass of hormones," he dismissed.

"What the hell are you trying to say?" Erin spat, infuriated that he could make that assumption so casually. "How the hell can you judge her?"

"Did you call to yell at me, or do you want a solution?" Dave returned evenly. "You made a statement and I assumed you wanted my point of view on what could be wrong."

"I didn't call for you to fix my problem, Dave. I called looking for some moral support."

"I'm fresh out of morals, Sweetheart," he drawled.

She rolled her eyes. "This is why you're still a bachelor."

"But, honestly, you're letting your kid walk all over you. If she wants to leave, let her."

"No!" Erin argued. "You're not a parent...you have no idea-"

"I'm not a parent…yet," Dave leveled. "And you're only mad at me because I'm not telling you what you want to hear. I'm not telling you to kidnap her from your ex husband's house."

"If Mudgie were missing, wouldn't you hang fliers? Wouldn't you call the pound and tell them to look out for your dog?"

"Sure, but there's a difference here, Honey," Dave measured his words and spoke gently, "Paige isn't missing, you know exactly where she is. You know that she's safe, and though Mark might be an ass, he's not going to let anything happen to that girl."

A defeated sigh fell from her lips. "She's not the girl I raised," Erin admitted. "Physically, I guess you do have a point, but the things she said...Dave. I thought I did better than that."

"You did," he encouraged.

Erin pressed her forefinger to the corners of her eyes. Damn the tears, she cursed silently. She could handle everything but the tears of self-pity and weakness. "I don't understand...why she's so upset."

Dave sighed. He knew whiney when he heard it, but it didn't suit her. Not Erin, she didn't whine and Dave didn't know how to handle it.

"She's a mixed up kid, Erin. Her world is changing and she doesn't know how to stop it. There is a lot going on and she's being hit from all fronts," he said with more bite than intended.

"My kids are not 'mixed up', David," she said hotly. Of all the crap she'd thrown at them, she'd thought they turned out well. Sure, Paul did throw a low blow and McKenzie was a little antisocial, but that was just growing pains. Wasn't it? Divorce and alcoholism was tame compared to her childhood.

"Being mixed up is normal, Erin," Dave pulled her from her thoughts. "But you can't let her walk all over you because you feel guilty."

"And what gives you the right to determine all of this?" Erin raged. "Where the hell did you get your degree from, the back of cereal box?"

Dave paused for a long moment before replying quietly, "Chaminade University. Magna Cum Laude in psychology."

Ugly words fell on her tongue, ready to cross her lips. Paige wasn't his - hell, he'd never even met her. So who was he to offer advice?

"I need to go," was Erin's clipped response before disconnecting the call.

"Before we get home," Erin said in the quiet of the car, a bucket of chicken sat in the floor board. "I owe you, an explanation." One hand navigated the highway and the other rested against the nearly invisible swell of her abdomen.

"Things are going to get worse, before they get better." She took an unsteady breath. "But whatever happens, it won't be your fault. Your father wants you more than anything... I just...I don't know how I'm supposed to do this. I'm sure you've figured out by now, but this Mom thing didn't come with a handbook. And if it did, I surely didn't receive one with your brother or sisters."

Her eyes flicked downward towards her abdomen. It was oddly comforting the way her hand sat so naturally against it. Considering the more she thought about her big news - an announcement that was supposed to be happy - the more miserable she felt.


	15. Chapter Fourteen

POWER OF LOVE 14

Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated.  
>Confucius<p>

"I guess I should cancel those flowers," Dave said, looking at Mudgie. He slid his feet off the ottoman. A fresh bouquet wouldn't fix Erin's problem nor would it earn him any favors. She wasn't a bad parent, in fact: she was an exceptional mother. Considering everything Mark had put their family through. He had at least four affairs before the divorce was filed. That was just what Dave knew about. With Erin carrying most of the load it was only natural for her to find solace in something apart from work. Clearly, her kid didn't see it that way.

With an aggravated huff, he grabbed his phone from the table and dialed the florist.

Erin sighed, the plate of eggs in front of her had gone nearly frigid and the decaf in her cup tasted like sludge instead of the usually smooth bitter brew. It was official, she hated Saturdays. The house was too quiet without Paige and Paul's casual bickering. At least then the house felt alive. McKenzie had ventured downstairs just long enough to feed the cat: without a glance towards her mother. While Paul stayed in his room, brooding. Both had turned down breakfast and the silent treatment was getting old...fast.

Scraping her untouched meal into the garbage disposal, Erin caught sight of the orchids on the windowsill. New shoots flowered down the pot. Fingering the sun kissed leaves lightly, she couldn't stop the smile tugging at her lips.

"Where did that come from?" McKenzie asked timidly. Staring at Erin as if she would explode at any moment.

Erin couldn't stop the chuckle that escaped her lips, "did you just notice it? It's only sat there for a month, McKenzie." She admonished gently.

McKenzie offered a slight grin and snapped her bubblegum between her teeth. "Oops. I guess I didn't see it."

"Do you think there's room for it in the flower bed?" Erin asked, studying the plant thoughtfully.

"Probably, but I haven't been out there in awhile." McKenzie said.

"You haven't been out there since before your vacation," Erin corrected.

"Yeah, but that whole thing was Paige's idea anyway." McKenzie said offhand.

Erin sighed, of course. McKenzie had very few friends, despite living in the same social circle her whole ten years of life. Paige was McKenzie's closest friend.

Erin gave herself a mental shake and opened the window. "It's pretty outside," the warm summer breeze filled the room, proving her point. "Come outside and help me plant this."

McKenzie's face automatically brightened, "Okay."

"Alright, what's up?" Erin asked, pulling weeds from the bed of tulips. A sit down conversation, wasn't happening. It was so much easier to talk when your hands were busy.

"What do you mean?" McKenzie asked, wiping her dirty hands on her jeans.

"This whole..." Erin thought for a moment... "when in doubt, stay quiet routine. If something's bothering you, come out and say it." She pulled a few more weeds and cast a sideways glance at her youngest. She was the perfect mix of Mark and Erin. With his dark hair and long straight nose. and Erin's porcelain skin and matching eyes.

McKenzie shrugged, "It's just...I'm not mad, Mom. Honest."

"You're not?" Erin asked, needing to clarify things. If anyone seemed mad, it was McKenzie.

"I just don't know what to do with myself. Paige isn't here and all Paul does is sit in his room."

"Do you like it at your father's?" The words slipped past her lips before she had a chance to catch them. She needed to know if, once her news came out: all of her children would take refuge there.

"It's alright. His girlfriend is there sometimes." McKenzie focused on the mulch in her hand, breaking the wood into splinters. "But we do fun stuff, we went to the batting cages last weekend." McKenzie grinned with pride, "I hit a home run!"

"All of you?" Erin couldn't stop the bitterness that pierced her heart.

"Yeah." McKenzie said tracing patterns in the dirt with her trowel. It's kind of nice but I wish it was with you instead of Jamie."

Erin felt her mouth go dry, she hadn't expected that. "Sorry, Sweetheart. Congrats on the hit. I wish I could have seen it." She offered, in a half attempt at an apology.

"Mom!" Erin's head jerked up at the sound of Paul's voice.

"What is it?" She called, struggling to her feet. Her knees protested and popped at the movement. Halfway off the ground, her breath left her. "McKenzie?" She huffed, "little help?"

"Are you okay?" Concern etched the young girl's face as she helped her mom to her feet.

"I'm fine," Erin took a deep breath, and offered a half hearted smile. "My knees got stiff. She swiped her hand across her forehead. The cool breeze from the morning was gone. Leaving humidity and sweat in it's wake. "Let's go inside." McKenzie said "it is way too hot out here."

Erin stifled a yawn, the promise of air conditioning and a cat nap, was too good to pass up. "Agreed."

"Special delivery." Paul called, from the back porch.

"Look who decided to join us." McKenzie joked, "did you get tired of the Bat- Cave?"

"Shut up." Paul said, moodily. Moving aside so the pair could step inside.

"That's enough." Erin interjected, before the pair could escalate.

"Your...whatever it is...is on the counter." Paul said, "the guy wanted a signature."

"You signed for it?" Erin asked, surprised. The simple white box was tied with a purple ribbon. As beautiful as the package was, it would have to wait. The last thing she needed was a barrage of questions she wasn't prepared to answer.

"Yeah. He didn't ask for I.D." Paul said shortly. He cut past his mother and towards the stairs.

"Hold it." Erin called sternly.

Paul's shoulders dropped in a world- weary slump, "I have a test on Monday. Can I go study?" He asked, there was an edge to his voice, like he was holding something back. Scratch that, there was a lot he needed to say.

"Did you have lunch?" Erin turned towards the fridge and pulled out sandwich fixings.

"I'm not hungry," he said flatly.

"Too bad, plant it." Erin ordered, pointing to the seat at the island with a butter knife. Reluctantly, with his head down; Paul slumped into the seat.

"McKenzie cast a suspicious glance at her brother, "Mom, can I eat in the living room?"

Erin passed her a sandwich, and took another look at Paul. "Go ahead."

When she knew McKenzie was out of ear shot, Erin said, "What's going on with you?"

"Nothing," he grumbled, still staring at the counter.

She pulled another slice of bread from the bag, "Do you want mustard?"

He nodded, "I can make my own sandwich."

"So," She shrugged, passing him the bread. "Do it. Just talk to me while you do."

He glanced up, just long enough to take a piece of turkey from the package. Unscrewing the jar of Miracle Whip, he stuck the knife inside. Chewing on his words he finally asked, "what does Paige know that we don't?" He took a frustrated bite. "Why did she leave?"

"We had a fight." Erin answered flatly, she leaned across the counter and met her son's face. "I'm not drinking, I promise." She assured him, when his gaze began to heat. Too many secrets had been harbored over the past year. Not to mention, not that she would ever admit it, but her baby bump was getting harder to hide.

"I know your dad is seeing someone..." for a reason she couldn't place, the words left a bitter taste in her mouth. She turned to the sink and filled a glass. Taking a long drink to flush it away.

"Yeah, he is." Paul returned, "and she's as shady as an oak tree."

Erin shook her head, "you don't like her?"

"It wouldn't be so bad if she didn't try to act like you. She's not even old enough to be my mother! So why is Paige there when she fights with Jamie more than you?"

That's comforting Erin scoffed silently. At least she wasn't her daughter's only enemy.

Paul took a long pull off the milk Erin sat in front of him and polished off his sandwich.

"She can come home anytime she wants, but she's still angry that I'm moving on with my life. I'm sorry, Paul but there's nothing that can make me go back to your father," she said vehemently.

" I just want to go talk to my sister. Dad's with Jamie and you're with..."He glanced at the box still resting on the counter. "Whomever-but can I go talk to her?" Paul was already donning his backpack. "I'll be back before dinner."

"What the Hell are you doing here?" Paige hissed, glaring at her brother's imposing frame in the doorway. She tried to block his way inside but he pushed past her. "Dad's going to be here in 15 minutes, pack your crap or it stays."

"You're not my father, you're 15 Goddamned years old!" Paige shrieked.

"You're coming home, Paige and you're coming home now. I've already talked to Dad and Jamie's tired of fighting with you. What's your problem anyway?" Paul leaned against the kitchen chair with his backpack dangling off his arm.

"Mom didn't tell you did she?" Paige cast a frigid glare towards her little brother. "Once again, I get to do her dirty work!"

"Somebody needs to do some work around here," Paul quipped. Surveying the mess.

"Fuck you! " Paige snapped, Jamie lets her nephews destroy the place and then I get to clean it up. I'm not a fucking nanny. Come try it sometime Paul and see how you like it!"

"You could have come home at anytime! You psychotic bitch, why are you yelling at me? Mom's not even upset. You're the one who took off for no reason."

"I'm not coming back, I don't give a rat's ass what happens to Mom," Paige hissed out of Mom and that baby, too!"

"Paige Marie Strauss!"

The teenagers froze as their father entered the kitchen. With Jamie skidding in behind him.

"You will not talk about your mother that way!" Mark stormed, his brown eyes honed on his daughter.

"But Dad-" Paige tried to plead. "You don't know what she's done."

Mark cut her off, "then I'll hear it from her. Now get upstairs."

Erin took the phone from its cradle, she knew from the moment Paul left that any contact with his sister wouldn't end well. As expected, both Paige and Paul were staying with Mark. According to the voicemail he left when she dodged his call, Paul was coming home in the morning. Paige was on her father's version of house arrest and Erin knew her daughter would've prefered the ankle monitor.

But the key sentence, the words that caused her heart to race and her head to spin, "you can't run forever."

She held the phone to her ear and played it again.

''Listen, Erin...I overheard something from Paige...' she could almost see the way his hand raked through his hair. When he was uncomfortable it was the main cause of his receding hairline. ''What you do on your own time is none of my business. We've moved on...but we need to talk...about Paige. Stop keeping secrets...you can't run forever. Call me."

She hung up, he would call again before the night was over.

From her seat on the sofa, the kitchen counter was visible. The ivory package had migrated from the counter to the table and suddenly, Erin wanted to open it. Maybe it was the desire for a distraction, maybe it was the thrill of surprises. But suddenly, she was on her feet: crossing the room. The box was heavier than she expected and cooler too. She noticed the unusual condensation on the bottom. As she carried it back to her seat.

Slowly, she pulled the silky ribbon until it slipped away from the box. Her fingers eagerly worked the tape from the side of the lid, she caught sight of the card stuck inside and slid it into her hand. What flowers won't fix it, chocolate might help.

-Dave

Erin laughed, before she could stop herself. Perhaps it was the shear amount of gourmet chocolate in one package that set her off. It could have been the frankness of the card, for all she knew it was stress induced hysteria that caused her to laugh until her chest caught and she could barely breathe and still, she laughed until her stomach ached. She could see the headlines of the New York Times in her mind. They finally broke her, the Section Chief of the BAU slash Mom, slash David Rossi's occasional girlfriend: was sent over the edge. By a box full of chocolate.

"Mom?" McKenzie ventured into the living room, "what's so funny?"

Erin shook her head, catching her breath she said, "Have some chocolate! There's four boxes!"

McKenzie caught sight of the card that had fallen to the floor, she skimmed it. Her curiosity getting the best of her. She hadn't heard her mom laughing like that in a long time, it wasn't the fake, polite laugh she used at parties and whomever Dave was, McKenzie knew she liked him immediately.


	16. Chapter Fifteen

"What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us." — Ralph Waldo Emerson

The scone crumbled in her fingers and Erin glanced at her watch, surveying patrons as they filtered in and out of the casual cafe.

She'd tried to discuss their kids over the phone, but Mark insisted on a face- to- face. He wanted to see her; alone. For the first time since the divorce, and he was 30 minutes late. She grabbed her purse, ready to leave when he stepped through the door.

"You're late," She remarked. "I'd given up on you."

"You did that a long time ago."  
>He flashed a smile that crinkled the lines around his eyes." You look good, by the way."<p>

She scoffed, 'good' was pushing it. She'd stopped looking at the scale past the 160lbs mark and her ankles were huge.

Sarcasm dripped through her tone, "you're opening with a lie, usually you crow-bar it in. Did new tactics come with a new woman? Why did you ask me here?"

"Because," he leaned back in the booth and folded his hands. "I heard through the grapevine, well, actually, I heard it from our daughter, that you are having another baby."  
>She went to speak, but he cut her off.<br>"Now, I don't care one way or another, we've both moved on."

"I appreciate that."

"But the kids," he continued, as if she hadn't spoken. "Our kids," he cleared his throat nervously. "I've talked to McKenzie and Paul."

"What did you tell them?"

"The truth, that everyone has moved on but, Erin I have to say it. The kids are thinking it. I never thought-I mean, I never pictured-"

"Spit it out, Mark. I'm dying to hear this," she said dryly. Rolling her eyes heavenward.

"We could have grandkids in a few years. Are you sure another baby is really what you want? Especially...being single? Aren't you worried about public appearance?"

"You're a pig, Mark." She said coolly. You said it yourself, we've both moved on and, "why should I be? You said so yourself, I look good," she quipped.

Oh. I'm sorry." He gave a half hearted apology, "I just assumed the father wasn't involved."

"That's none of your business," She stated coldly.

"It is if another man will be involved with my kids."

"When were you going to tell me about Jamie?" Erin fired back. Did you think I wanted another woman around my kids?"

"That's beside the point. Are you going to keep working?"  
>"As I said, I don't care how it looks. If I have to step down," she shrugged, "so be it."<p>

"Who are you and what have you done with my ex-wife? For 18 years, we obsessed over a clean image-"

How dare him, this was not supposed to be about them.

"My career was on the line,  
>Mark."She protested, "you couldn't understand that. You were so pissed because you failed out of the academy that every thing I did, everything I sacrificed; meant nothing to you!"<p>

"I'm not here to rehash ancient history, Erin," He said flatly, "but it's hard for me to believe that you're throwing it all away."

"Maybe I have a good reason to," she threw back.

Mark shrugged, "I hope so," he folded his arms over his thin chest, I hope he makes you happy."

Looking back, she would deny the pitiful tone in his voice. She would pretend she hadn't heard; and claim her words weren't meant to twist the knife of jealousy currently stuck in her ex husband's gut.

"Being Mrs. Rossi, will make me very happy. Have a good day, Mark." She took her purse and breezed out of the cafe.

"How did it go with, Dad?" McKenzie asked, glancing up from her art project when Erin stepped into the foyer.

"Fine," Erin called, climbing up the three steps that led into the dinning room. She hung her purse on the chair and sat next to her daughter. "What are you working on?" Erin surveyed the rough sketch on the canvas.

"I'll show you when it's finished: It's a surprise."  
>Erin smiled, "we've had a lot of those, haven't we?"<p>

McKenzie shrugged, she knew full well what her mother was implying. "Yeah. The guy who sent the chocolate, must like you a lot."

"He does," she answered simply. She wondered why Paige and Paul couldn't approach the subject so easily.

McKenzie cleared her throat awkwardly, " Mom, can I ask a weird question?"

"Sure."  
>"Do you like him?"<p>

Erin thought for a moment, David was a good man. For the most part, he was a good provider, he was romantic and she knew he would make an excellent father... He could make her laugh. The list of his positive traits went on, but so did the negative ones. Erin gave the most honest answer she could.

"I think I could learn."

The answer drew a smile from the young girl, "you should try."  
>With that, Erin felt a her heart lighten. Everything would be alright in the end.<p>

"How are you?" Dave asked, stepping inside Erin's office unannounced. How long had it been since he lay eyes on her? She seemed pale and more exhausted than he'd ever seen.

She glanced up from the paperwork in front of her, giving him a tight, almost uncomfortable smile.

"Everything is looking up. Thank you, for the chocolate."

He grinned, his eyes wrinkled, "So, it helped?" He asked, taking a seat in front of her.

"It...was..." she paused, "a very effective ice-breaker with my 10 year old."

"And what about Paige?"  
>Erin sighed, the headache building between her eyes intensified. " I think she's convinced that there's a chance for Mark and I."<p>

Dave dropped his shoulders, "That's only natural. How's the morning sickness?"

"Lingering," she huffed.

"When's the last time you slept?"  
>She threw the pen on the desk irritably . "Is this an interrogation?"<p>

His eyes sparked with humour, "I'd have to detain you first."

Her lips curled in a smile, "Is that a threat or a promise?"

The blaring of the office phone cut off his response.  
>"Do you need to get that?" Dave asked, when she didn't move.<p>

"Gail will get it."

Sure enough, the young Secretary stuck her head through the door, "Sorry to interrupt, Ma'am. Mary Welby is on line two, she says it's important."

Erin felt her stomach drop, "I'll call her back."

"No disrespect intended, Ma'am but you need to take this." The secretary argued.

"Take the call, Erin," Dave pressed.

Erin brushed it off, "it's not important, she probably just wants to gossip." She moved from her desk and grabbed her purse and breezed past the secretary, "I'm taking lunch, Agent Rossi?"

''Yes, Dear." Dave muttered lowly.

"You're social with your doctor?" Dave pressed, from across the table. He waited for their food to arrive before initiating conversation.

Erin shrugged and took a sip of her milkshake, "she has a thing for mystery novels. You'll never guess this, but I work for the FBI."

Dave chuckled, "Smart Ass."

" Well," she dropped her hands on the table, "You worry too much. It's just an innocent, albeit an unorthodox friendship."


	17. Chapter Sixteen

Life is ten percent what happens to you and ninety percent how you respond to it.  
><span>Lou Holtz<span>

_"As your doctor, you need to stop putting me off, Erin. I mean it, call me back."_

Erin huffed and set the phone on the cradle, this was not what she needed right now. What she needed was a nap, an hour for lunch wasn't long enough.

Stifling a yawn, she pushed her bangs off her forehead in a self encouraging gesture; and set to work. If she put a dent in the paperwork she could take the rest home and leave early. Go home, take a nap and be awake in time to watch Paul's baseball practice.

Flipping through the folders, she picked up the phone and summoned Agent Hotchner.

Aaron Hotchner knocked twice on Erin Strauss' office door. On her approval, he entered the room.

You wanted to see me, Chief Strauss ?" Hotch asked. A seasoned profiler, he could feel apprehension and what ever was bothering Erin Strauss was probably going to be taken out on him.

"Yes." She said sternly, "your report was incomplete."

"My report was done correctly and by FBI standards. With all due respect, Ma'am."

"I'm missing your disciplinary report on Agent Morgan." She fixed him with a look, "you did file one, didn't you?"

"Yes, Ma'am, I took the liberty of emailing you a copy along with the paper report."  
>Scanning her inbox she said in outrage, "Why is he asking for Hazard Pay?"<p>

"I'm sorry?" Hotch asked in confusion.

She clicked the email open, "let me rephrase, why is Agent Morgan demanding Hazard Pay?"

"I wasn't aware that he was."

"According to his claim, he was quote, 'forced to wade through 'toxic waste while apprehending a suspect' end quote."

Hotch set his jaw, Derek could have warned him. "These situations do happen, Ma'am."

"Do you agree that he deserves to be compensated?"

"Yes Ma'am, even the suspect required medical evaluation."

"The man Agent Morgan was chasing?" Erin asked, her pen scrawling notes in the notepad at her side.

"Yes Ma'am," He said, nodding slightly.

She pulled out a tape recorder and flipped it on. Stating the date, she turned it towards him. "Please state your name and rank."

Hotch leaned forward in his clear baritone he said, Supervisory Special Agent Aaron Hotchner, Unit Chief of the Behavioral Analysis Unit."

"Tell me what happened."

"We were in pursuit of a suspect, we had his trailer surrounded when Todd Jacobs jumped two fences joining to the neighboring yards." Hotch paused to think, "Agent Morgan went after him. The ground was wet after some heavy flooding in the area and Mr. Jacobs slid into the drainage ditch, about 30 feet from where we stood."

"Did anyone else attempt to detain the suspect?"

"No, Ma'am we had the area surrounded. Agent Morgan cuffed Jacobs and climbed out of the ditch."

She pulled up another email, she read it in horror. The last thing her department needed was a lawsuit. "Jacobs is claiming that Agent Morgan punch him in the throat while he was detained. Why can't you find fault in that?"

Hotch bristled, The suspect was brandishing a knife-a knife he had used to carve up one of the victims. Agent Morgan did everything in his power to restrain and detain without using lethal force. He didn't lay hands on Jacobs expect to detain him. The bruises Jacobs sustained from a bar brawl he initiated two days ago. I saw them when we questioned him the day before his arrest."

"You're sure about this?" Some of the earlier tension rolled away.  
>"Yes Ma'am."<p>

"What did Agent Morgan look like when he stepped out of the ditch?"

Hotch's nose wrinkled in disgust, "he smelled. He was up to his waist in...who knows what. We called for HAZMAT and they hosed him off."

"Thank you. You're dismissed."

Hotch took a deep breath and braced himself before he reached over and clicked off the tape recorder.

Her back straightened, shocked by his sudden forwardness. He asked, "What is this really about?"

She fixed him with a practiced blank look, "I don't know what you mean."

"I'm asking what this is really about. When a member of my team asks to be compensated, you make the choice to grant or deny. You don't call me demanding an explanation. I'm wondering what might really be bothering you."

"I'm sorry, that I can't hand over a blank check every time an agent requests additional pay, Aaron." She said sharply." I have to answer for it with the budget committee."

"It's more than that... Erin." He paused, "the Director called me."

Her heart sank to her feet, "If there was a problem, I would have been notified."

He says he isn't getting reports on time-you're in over your head,

"I'm your superior-"

Hotch gestured to the piles of paperwork, "Yes Ma'am, which is why I don't understand why he called me."

She waved him off, the more he pried the less time she had to finish her work. "There is nothing going on that is relevant to my job and Agent Hotchner."

"Yes, Ma'am?"  
>"You were dismissed, ten minutes ago."<p>

Hotch bit his tongue and counted to five. "Yes, Ma'am."

"And for the record, Agent Hotchner, you will be written up for insubordination. Do I make myself clear?"

"Yes, Ma'am."  
>The door slammed in his wake.<p>

"Damn," she whispered to the empty room, "it's really hit the fan now."

She gathered her purse and stacked the remaining files in her briefcase. Snapping it closed, she pulled her chair away from the desk and moved to stand. When her cell phone chipped to life. She glanced at the screen and tossed the offending phone in her purse. She did not need this. She would call Mary, on her own time. For now, she had a baseball practice to get to.

She bent to pick up her briefcase when Dave strode inside.

"Heading out?"  
>"Eventually," she huffed, dropping back in the chair, "why, what do you need?"<p>

He stepped behind her, placing his hands on her shoulders, "why do I have to need anything?" He asked, while his hands worked on the knots in her neck. "I can't just visit?"

"Nobody, 'just visits' around here."  
>His hands continued their journey along her neck, eliciting small moans of pleasure from her lips.<br>"Bad day?" He asked, grazing his knuckles down between her shoulder blades.

She swallowed, "my reports were late." She admitted. The massage had lowered her defenses to a dangerous level.

"How many?" He asked, dropping the words into her ear.  
>"A few."<p>

He leaned in closer, feeling her pulse beat against his fingertips. Vanilla perfume drifting through his nostrils and he was grateful for the locked door.

"I heard."  
>"You heard!" She growled, yanking away from his touch and shattering the fragile moment.<p>

He shrugged, "calm down, one batch of late reports is not the end of the world."

"Who told you?" She asked, fire lighting her eyes.

"By the ninth hole Director Robinson was ready to tell me anything I wanted to know."

"You're keeping tabs on me?" She asked, equal parts angry and shocked.

"Should I be? Your doctor called in the middle of the afternoon."

"I told you-"

"I know. You're gal pals with your obstetrician."

"So what's the problem?"

"We both know this isn't going to work if we have to lie to each other."


	18. Chapter Seventeen

**Hello, My Darlings: just a quick note to say thank you for sticking with me. Erin and Dave are begging to continue their conversation from the last chapter. I'll get right on that, but first I think you should know:The 2014 PROFILER'S CHOICE CRIMINAL MINDS FANFIC AWARDS are back!**

**Calling all CM readers and authors! Join us in celebrating the best of the best CM stories for the annual Profiler's Choice CM Awards! Help us and let your voices be heard. Please check out the nomination ballot and rules at the ProfilerChoiceAwards2014 Forum. All rules and information are on the forum. Nominations begin November 15 and are due December 31st.**  
><strong>Good Luck!<strong>

**(Sorry for the long note: on with the show.)**

_A good man knows his woman like the back of his hand. He knows when she's mad, sad, aggravated, happy, hurt…because that's his woman._  
><em>— Unknown<em>

"When have I ever lied to you, David? As I remember, it was you who kept secrets." Erin spat, crossing the room. She needed to put as much physical distance between them as possible.

"It's different now and you know it." He circled the desk and advanced towards her. "What are you hiding?" His hands gripped her shoulders and he studied her face.

"There's nothing to hide!" She denied through clenched teeth.

"Fine." He said, with practiced nonchalance, "call your doctor and talk mystery stories." He rounded the desk again and lifted the phone. He flipped through the Rolodex until he found the number.

"What are you doing! That is an invasion of my privacy, David."

"Inviting her to my place, we'll have a barbecue." His fingers poised over the buttons.  
>Her cheeks blazed hot, knowing full well what was on the menu.<p>

"So you can grill her for information, there are laws against that. It's called HIPAA David."

"What information? I thought there was nothing to hide."

Her shoulders dropped in frustration, "there isn't."

He caught the doubt that creeped into her tone, "you mean you don't know?" He asked, his tone came out sharper than he intended. "How could she not know!" His mind screamed.

"I'll call her back-"

"You're damn right you will." He growled, his eyes dark with frustration, "dammit Erin," the phone clattered back on the hook as he moved towards her.

"Go," she ordered on a shaky breath. Anger and fear and every other emotion was overpowering her senses. She needed to be alone. His being there was only complicating things.

"You really want me to go, Erin?" he challenged. "We need to talk, we can work this out together."

" No, we can't." She denied, "Not now. Not ever. Go."

"We're not finished. You will make that appointment."

"My body, my choice," she whispered around the lump in her throat. "You don't have a say."

"That is still half my child you're carrying. That gives me more say than any law written in your favor."

His eyes blazed hot. Erin shrank back, unsure as to what he would do. At the last minute he turned on his heel and stormed out of the office. The sound of the front door slamming reverberated throughout the building.

"Please," she whispered to the empty room. "Don't leave."  
>But no one answered.<p> 


	19. Chapter Eighteen

_Love is the only force capable of transforming an enemy into friend._

_Martin Luther King, Jr._

Erin glanced around her empty office. Did she ever leave this place? No. The few hours she spent at home didn't count, former family dinners had been reduced to mechanical chewing and a consistent staring contest and that was on good night.

Despite her best efforts, paperwork was still piling up. She skipped sleep and stopped taking lunch breaks, but she still couldn't get ahead of it.

Aaron was right she did need help. She didn't stand a snowball's chance in Hell anymore.

"You," she muttered, placing her hands around her growing belly, "are all I have left."

The subtle response under her fingertips, should have offered comfort. Instead, more unease slipped down her spine.

"You should be moving more," she whispered around the worry that lodged itself in her throat.  
>She would call Mary, but she needed to take care of something first.<p>

She made her way down the darkened halls of the Behavioral Analysis Unit only the click of her heels against the linoleum flooring and the buzz of a wayward copier could be heard.  
>She should have been home hours ago but the team was homeward bound and she needed to see them. Her children were safe, with their father as usual. While her Friday nights were spent trying not to drown in work; in thoughts of her family in how Paul couldn't look her in the eye anymore and the way McKenzie tried to atone for it.<p>

Thoughts of her unborn child and her last conversation with David still haunted her. He had a right to be upset, to a point. But If God forbid, something wasn't right with their child, she didn't want to know. Was that wrong? Whatever happened in the womb couldn't be prevented, so was it wrong to deny them the early warning? Maybe, but what difference did it make? She could handle it. With or without Dave, couldn't she?

Stepping off the last stair and into the bullpen, she started a fresh pot of coffee. The team would need the extra dose of caffeine to drive home. That was the one thing she could still do right.

Stepping out of her heels, she sighed in relief when her swollen feet made contact with the chilly floor. She picked up the shoes and studied the soles. Four inch patent leather wasn't appropriate work attire, anymore Dave had been right about that, too.

Hotch mentally groaned at the sight of fresh coffee. The case was as routine as you could expect when dealing with a serial killer. Still the coffee shone like a beacon in the dark. Lifting the mug to his lips, he caught Morgan's look.

"Don't get too relaxed," Morgan warned nodding pointedly toward the window in the office at the top of the stairs, "it looks like you've got problems."  
>The whole team followed his gaze. A cloud of apprehension settled over the room.<p>

"She's been waiting awhile." J.J. pointed out, even from their viewpoint she could make out Chief Strauss' feet propped up on one of the visitor's chairs.

"Probably since she heard we were on the way back," Reid cut in.

Dave stared moodily into his mug and said, "I'm willing to bet she made this coffee, as a peace offering."

Hotch discretely tapped his friend on the shoulder in a gesture of support. Dave's lack of phone activity while they were gone and his general distant demeanor were clues that he and the Section Chief were on the outs.  
>Mounting the stairs with a growing sense of doom, Hotch prayed he wouldn't have to play marriage counselor.<p>

He let himself inside, "Chief Strauss," he said, in mild surprise.

She jerked herself awake, "we need to talk." She said, sliding her feet to the floor. He pulled the blinds closed and rounded the desk. "What's wrong?" He asked in concern, taking his seat at the desk across from her.

She cleared her throat awkwardly and let out an unsteady breath. "I don't know if you've noticed, but, you weren't written up."

"For...insubordination...?"

"You weren't wrong, Aaron."

"I appreciate that, Ma'am, but what's really going on?"

"You were right-" She said softly, hating the way she sounded, "I'm in over my head."  
>"And you're asking for my help?" He asked partly surprised.<p>

She swallowed against the tightness in her chest and folded her hands in her lap.

"I'm looking for my replacement."

"Why?" He asked, this was the last thing he expected.

"I didn't think I needed an explanation," Erin replied with just a touch of coldness in her tone.

"You came to me. I assumed there was more going on." He replied, leaning toward her. An intimidation technique, Chief Strauss wasn't an unsub, but she was holding something back. He was going to find out what it was.

This was a bad idea," she murmured and started to stand.

His brow knitted, "What makes you say that?"

"This...you..." She wiped a weary hand across her forehead. "Forget I said anything."

"I can't do that, Ma'am. You came to me for a reason. Just talk."

"Aaron," Erin shook her head, "forget I said anything." She looked at her watch. "I-I have to go."

"You're quitting your job and that affects me, now tell me why."

"You wouldn't understand," she argued.

"Probably not," He admitted, "I don't know what it's like to balance a demanding job while being a single parent."

"Sarcastic remarks like that will get you written up," She warned, fixing him with a glare.

"No sarcasm intended, Ma'am." He said flatly.

"Tell me that you have something to drink in your desk."

"Water?" He asked, pulling out a bottle.

"I was expecting 7-Up or Coke, but this will do." She took the bottle and bent down to slip her shoes on.

"Sprite?" He offered.

"Better." Erin handed the bottled water back. "If you pull out a pizza, I will yank all of the counseling sheets out of your personal file."

He grinned slightly; who knew his boss had a sense of humor?

He looked at the clock, his own stomach clenched in hunger.  
>"It's too late for pizza, but I have...chips...and..." he rummaged through the desk...and, "trail mix."<p>

"You have next weekend off with no call in," she extended her hand and gestured for him to hand the bag over.

"Are you ready to talk? Or are you here to eat all of my junk food?" He quipped.

"This hardly qualifies as junk Aaron."

"You're stalling-"

You just wouldn't understand." She tried twice to open the bag and failed. Tears pooled in her eyes.

"Try me." He gestured for her to pass him the bag and pulled out the letter opener.

"I can get this," she protested. Pulling hard, the bag ripped open peanuts and dried fruit scattered all over her, the desk and the floor. Too overwhelmed, she burst into tears.

"It's alright," he said, a lame attempt at comfort he grabbed the box of tissues and slid them towards her.

"It's not 'alright'," she contradicted between sobs. "Nothing is 'alright'."

Burying her face in the Kleenex, Erin only sobbed harder.

Something was obviously weighing on her; Hotch did the only thing he knew how. He circled the desk and pulled her into a hug.

"This is against regs." Erin's words were muffled by custom tailored jacket.

"It is, for now," he acknowledged, "but you're quitting anyway. Is that better?"

The tears wouldn't stop. God, she felt like a fool. Taking a deep breath, Erin pulled back and tried to wipe her tears with the back of her hand.

"It's alright," he repeated, handing her another handful of tissues.

"This is embarrassing." She said, wiping her eyes.

Hotch shrugged, "it happens,"

"Not to me," she sniffled pitifully. Her eyes flicked upward. "And not in front of you." She said, a hint of defiance laced her tone.

"It's a little late for that."

"Thanks." She swallowed hard, "I think."

"Everyone reaches their breaking point, Erin. Are you ready to tell me how you reached yours?"

"You don't have time for that."

"Jessica took Jack out of town, so I have all night and all of tomorrow."

Erin shifted uncomfortably in the chair and looked at the floor. "Oh. She started to stand up. "I need to get this cleaned up..."

"Leave it. I'll get it on the way out."

"Aaron- " she started to protest.

"This is my office; I'll get it on the way out."

A slight smile graced her lips, "Are you pulling rank on me?"

"Maybe. Now stop biding time."

"I don't do counseling, Aaron." She reminded him.

"That's not what this is, I'm not taking notes." He assured her, "this is just a conversation between colleagues."  
>She let out a shaky breath, "I'm sorry."<p>

"Why?"  
>"I took everything out on you..."<br>"What's ''everything?"  
>"My anger, my failures at home. My job...is going to Hell and...my personal life isn't going much better."<p>

He inclined his head, urging her to continue.

"And Dave," she sighed, she didn't want to have this conversation but her mouth wouldn't shut up!  
>"He thinks I'm just an incubator! "<p>

"You don't think he's genuine?"

"I don't know," she snapped, "one minute he wants us to be a couple, at least, I think that's what he wants. Then the minute it looks like something's wrong, he jumps ship."

Hotch's frown deepened slightly in distaste. What was Dave doing?

"I'm sorry..."

Her eyes flicked towards the ceiling, with tissues pressed to the corner of her eyes. "I can't- make him love me. I can't make my family work-" she choked out. A fresh wave of tears threatened to overwhelm her. Fucking hormones, God she couldn't hold a conversation without breaking down.

"Are you..." he paused, seeking the correct term, "craving?"

"No," she denied, shaking her head violently. "That's the one thing I'm doing right."

"Are you sure you're ready to step down?"

"I don't have a choice. This job..." she paused to gather her thoughts, "It's taken too much from me, from my family..."

"I have contacts in the State Department. I can help you find someone, if you want," he offered.

She nodded in understanding, "thank you.' She glanced at her watch, "I should be going now."

"I'll get the car." He stood and got the keys from his pocket.

She cast him a blank look, "I'm sorry?"

"With all due respect, Ma'am, this ...conversation has been tough on you. I think it would be a good idea if you let me drive you home."

"You don't have to do that, Agent Hotchner," she protested. All she wanted to do was fall into bed, the shower could wait until the morning.

"No, I don't but I want to, you're in no shape to drive."

She nodded and fought the urge to yawn. She was dead on her feet before she even stood up.

"Thank you."  
>"You were there for me when I needed it most. I'm just returning in kind."<br>She nodded, "I appreciate it."

She got to her feet, nuts and M&Ms littered the floor.  
>"I'll take care of it," Hotch said, when Erin's gaze hit the floor.<p>

"How old is Jack?" Erin asked, needing to fill the silence through the long stretch highway. The school issued portrait was the only personal touch in sight.

"He'll be 8 next month," Hotch said with a hint of pride in his voice. "I don't know that it makes a difference, but I'm glad you came to me tonight. I know what it's like to be stretched too thin and I'm not complaining, especially not to you."

She shrugged, "as you said, this is just a conversation, I'm not taking notes."

"A few weeks ago Jack asked if I could 'be the boss' and send Jessica home."

Erin smiled, "oh really?"

"I gave her some money and told her to have a good time and then the call came in. Two little girls had been abducted from their beds."

"I remember that..." Erin murmured, thankfully the team had brought them home safely.

"Jack gave me a hug and told me to be careful."

Erin raised an eyebrow in the dark, "and what about Jessica?"

"She was more upset than Jack, but my point is, our kids don't suffer as much as we think they do." Hotch said, turning off the highway and onto a residential street.  
>Erin looked out the window at the unfamiliar neighborhood.<p>

"I made a wrong turn, didn't I?" Hotch asked, surveying their surroundings.

"I wasn't paying attention, I'm sorry," Erin said.

"No worries, I'll turn around."  
>Erin nodded, "this place doesn't take kindly to local cops-"<br>Hotch pulled into an empty lot and made a U-turn. "Much less federal agents," he finished her thought.

Erin breathed a relieved sigh at the well-lit street.

Turn here," Erin instructed, staring out the window, the traffic was replaced by trees and foliage. She blinked hard and forced her eyes open.  
>Hotch navigated the car down the narrow road, the terrain under the tires shifted from smooth asphalt to potholes every few feet. He shifted his gaze from right to left and back again. "You're hidden back here," he said.<br>"I'm two streets over," Erin said.  
>The SUV sped up slightly, "He's tailgating me," Hotch ground out in annoyance when a red truck pulled close behind them. He's texting," Erin explained, glancing at the reflection in the side mirror and rolled her eyes.<p>

Hotch tapped the accelerator again as the truck came dangerously close to the bumper of his SUV.

"Turn here."  
>Hotch guided them slowly around a narrow curve, streetlights shown through the windows. Erin glanced at the speedometer.<br>"This is a 30 mile zone!" She said, panicked when she saw they were going 60 mph.

"I don't have another choice."

Suddenly the truck came to a full stop behind them.  
>Hotch jerked the wheel as the vehicle began to spin out of control towards the street lamp. The sound of crushed metal and Erin's screams reverberating through the cab, were all that could be heard.<p>

_Author's note:_

_The 2014 PROFILER'S CHOICE CRIMINAL MINDS FANFIC AWARDS are back! Calling all CM readers and authors! Join us in celebrating the best of the best CM stories for the annual Profiler's Choice CM Awards! Help us and let your voices be heard. Please check out the nomination ballot and rules at the ProfilerChoiceAwards2014 Forum (Direct Link also in my profile). All rules and information are on the forum. Nominations begin November 15 and are due December 31st. Good Luck!_  
><em>Please remember, the moderators are working very hard to keep the nominations fair, personal issues hold no bearing on being nominated.<em>


	20. Chapter Nineteen

Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgement that something else is more important than fear.

- Ambrose Redmoon-

Hotch pulled his eyes open, the light from the street lamp shown through the shattered windshield. A pained groan escaped his lips His head was about to split! He slammed his eyes closed and clamped his hands over his ears, "Erin!" He called.

Her head lolled to one side and she forced her eyes open, why did everything hurt?

"What happened?" She asked, her voice sounded like gravel and the metallic taste of blood filled her mouth. "What the hell happened?" She asked again, coughing back the dust from the airbags that invaded her lungs.

"The truck," Hotch bit out, "he hit us." Hotch pushed the pain aside and took stock of the damage. In horror, he looked towards the back seat and saw the door was caved in against :Jack's booster seat. His heart stalled in his chest in a moment of panic. He tore his gaze away and for once he was grateful for Jessica taking control of his son.

"Are you alright?" He asked, he wipe his face with the back of his hand, he knew immediately that his nose would never be the same.

"Yeah," she murmured against the tightness in her face. She glanced toward her lap and tried to remove the seat belt.

Fear bubbled in her throat, "I can't move my arm."

In one swift movement, he reached over and unlatched her belt before he grabbed the door handle.

"Get out of the car," he said as plumes of black smoke puffed from the engine.

"Don't be stupid, Aaron," she fired back in urgency, "we go together."

Sirens whirred in the distance, the lights from the emergency vehicles shone in the windows.

"Help is coming," Hotch said tightly as stabbing pain cut through his head, he covered his ears to block out the noise.

"You need to get out of the car!" Hotch peeled his eyes open to look at the cop standing next to the car, "the engine is smoking!"

"Get her out!" Hotch demanded holding his head tighter in pure determination not to pass out from the pain.

"Can you move?" Came the officer's reply.

"Yeah," Hotch turned as EMTs swarmed the vehicle. He watched them fasten a collar around Erin's neck and carry her from the vehicle.

Reaching for the door handle, he stepped onto the pavement, his vision blurred and his stomach clenched he wanted to be sick. Stumbling towards the ambulance visions of Jack filled his head. He needed to get home, suddenly, his son's face was replaced by the image of his best friend. Dave would be devastated if he lost Erin.

"What's your name, Sir?" He could barely make out the paramedic escorting him into the ambulance.

"Aaron Hotchner, what happened to the other driver?" He peered around the wreckage that was his SUV the driver was pulled from the car and handcuffed.

"He's fine," the medic and strapped a collar around Hotch's neck and helped him in inside the ambulance.

"What about Erin?" Hotch asked as the medic shone a light in his eyes and he fought the urge to vomit.

"I'm fine," Hotch bit out and waved the medic off. "I'm fine, go to her." He struggled upright from the gurney.

"She's being taken care of-" the medic said as strong hands forced Hotch on his back.

"Give me my phone." He growled in aggravation.

"Are you refusing treatment?"

"No."

"Good, don't be stupid," the medic warned and picked up Hotch's cell phone from the floor of the ambulance.

With the pain in his face intensifying, Hotch dialed Dave's number from memory.

"Dave, we were hit..." Hotch said as his vision began to fade. "Saint Sebastian's..."

"I'm on my way," Dave said as fear clutched his heart. He wanted to press for more details, but the calls of paramedics that worked furiously over Hotch filled Dave's ears, 'I'm starting another line...' etc

He snatched his keys off the table and hurried out the door.

Dave stormed the Emergency Department of Saint Sebastian's Hospital. With his heart beating an erratic tattoo against his breastbone. "How is Aaron Hotchner?"

Dave flashed his badge at the nurse and silently begged for answers. There was no doubt that Jack was waiting for his dad and it was one phone call Dave didn't want to make.

"I'll show you to his room," the nurse said and consulted her chart. As they walked down the hallway. "His eardrum ruptured when the airbag deployed and he has a mild concussion he'll need a ride home tomorrow,"

she said and they stopped at the door. ''Thank God,' he praised silently.

Dave knocked twice and let himself inside, some of the tension fell away from Dave's shoulders.

Hotch was reclined in bed flipping absently through the TV channels. A few bruises and a broken nose shone in the backlight of the TV.

"How's Erin?" He asked and put down the remote.

"Erin?" Dave's heart sped and panic gripped him tightly. "She was with you?"

Hotch nodded, "she needed to speak to me and the conversation ran long, I was driving her home when we were rear ended. Dave I'm so sorry-"

What's happening?" Erin asked and forced her eyes open. She needed to see, even as the world spun in a sea of white hospital walls and sterile rooms she had never been so grateful.

"Look who's awake," the man's kind eyes instantly reminded her of Dave, she realized with a stab of guilt.

"We are going to take good care of you," he assured her. As they continued down the hallway.

"My baby?" She asked, the two simple words took her breath away as she struggled against the oxygen mask forcing air into her lungs.

"Everything is just fine..." The calm and gentle voice assured, "you're having a CT scan and getting a cast for your arm and then you can rest."

"You're sure?" She gasped, she needed clarification. She tilted her head to glance at the man behind her.

"Are you a doctor?"

"I'm a radiologist,"

She glanced up again, he looked far too young to be a doctor. "You're a tech."

His kind eyes stared down at her. Good God, she missed Dave, would someone call him? What about Aaron? Her mind reeled with unspoken questions.

"You need to stay still."

"Dad, I can't go in there-"

Erin listened as Paige argued with her father from outside of her hospital room.

"Just go and talk to your mom,"

_"Come on, Paige,"_ Erin cheered silently, _"let's talk."_

"What if she's mad at me?" Erin pictured the way her daughter's gaze would drop to the floor.

"She isn't," Mark assured, "she called me, Paige. She wants to make it right with you, Not Paul, not McKenzie. You."

For the first time since the divorce, Erin found herself thankful for Mark. He was an asshole on his best day, but no one else could plead her case to their daughter.

_Come on, Paige...come on, Baby...let's make it right._

The door opened and Paige shuffled inside with her eyes on her sneakers.

"There she is," Erin said softly and reached for her despite the heavy cast encasing her left arm.

"Mom!" Paige croaked and rushed towards her mother.

"I'm so sorry," Paige said against Erin's shoulder, "I didn't mean it..."

"I know..." Erin soothed, and cleared Paige's hair away from her face.

Paige pulled away to meet Erin's eyes, "are you okay?"

"I'm fine," Erin answered and she was considering what could have been. "My arm is fractured and I have a concussion, but I'm okay." She tried to reassure, Paige's gaze dropped to Erin's stomach. Her eyes filled with tears."What about the baby? I didn't mean what I said, Mom I swear."

"I know that," Erin tried to comfort her, "this wasn't your fault." She said against Paige's shoulder as she sobbed. Erin's eyes pooled and she held her tighter despite the pressure on her ribs.

"It's not your fault, Baby."

Now is the chance to have your voice heard! Vote for your favorite CM stories and writers by following this link! Voting closes December. 31St!

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	21. Chapter Twenty

I'm back, and here to stay! (Hopefully.) I will be starting college soon, so updates may be slow. This story will be finished, I promise.

On another note, The Power of Love-the story you are reading right now- -has been nominated in The Profilers Choice Awards in the category of Best Rossi\Strauss! Thank you all for the nomination and you can vote on the final ballot here

topic/162134/127110716/1/Final-Ballot-and-rules-for-the-last-round-of-the-ProfilersChoice-Awards-2014

On with the story

**Doubt is a pain too lonely to know that faith is his twin brother. **

**-Khalil Gibran -**

"They are doing an ultrasound in the morning," Erin said as Paige pulled away and wiped her eyes."Do you want to stay and watch?"

"She can't," Mark interjected harshly.

"But Dad-"

"Mark-" Erin said sharply, "are we really going to fight about this?"

"No, Paige has school and-" he searched for a word that would suit his case, "I'm her father."

"And I'm not disputing that," Erin said calmly with a vague hint of sarcasm.

Dave bolted out of Hotch's room and back to the nurse's station. His mind reeled with questions, what was she doing in that car with Hotch?

He paused, the unmistakable sound of her voice drew him further down the hallway.

"Paige, let me talk to Dad for a minute," Erin said softly.

"I want to stay with Mom," Paige hissed, glaring darkly at her father as she brushed past him into the hallway.

"I can't believe you," Mark spat.

"She's been with me for two months without a word from you-"

"You know that isn't true!" Erin's glare grew hot, how dare him! She forced herself upward, despite the protesting of her ribs. Fuck him.

"Paige was avoiding me, and you know it and now she wants to come home and you won't let her. What the Hell is the matter with you?"

Dave listened intently as her voice carried into the hallway. Arguing with the doctors was always a good sign...he rounded the corner, so fast that he didn't notice the teenage girl with blonde and purple hair sitting in the hall- but she definitely noticed him.

"It's you!" Paige cried and leapt from her seat in the hard plastic chair.

All priorities took a flying leap out the window when her idol, a literary legend and an actual hero: was within arm's reach. It was all she could do not to burst with excitement!

Dave paused, "Excuse me?" he asked, regarding the teenager with a critical eye.

"I'm-I'm Paige-" She stammered,awestruck and embarrassed, he had no idea who she was.

"We were supposed to meet, but my mom said that you had to go out of town-" she fibbed, too ashamed to admit that she had given her mother the cold shoulder for the past two months.

Dave's brow furrowed in recognition, " Ah, Erin's your mother," he wouldn't have known if not for the teenager's high cheekbones and blonde hair, everything else must have came from Mark.

Paige nodded towards the closed door, "She's in there, arguing with my dad-" she said, and rolled her eyes.

From what she lacked in Erin's features, the kid had her mother's attitude.

"You took off for a while, huh?" Dave asked. A test to see if Paige would own up to it.

Paige swallowed tightly, "I guess my mom told you?"

"She didn't say too much."

"Yeah well, I was stupid, but," Paige shrugged, "I'm home now, my mom needs me."

"She does," Dave paused a mischievous thought crept into his mind. Let's see how much Erin shared with her first born.

"Especially with the baby coming.''

"Yeah, considering it's just us," Paige mumbled.

Her bitterness wasn't lost on Dave. He shook his head, what was it with this family and abandonment?

"I'm sure that's not true..."

"Whatever," Paige shook her head and brushed her tears away with her fingertips.

"Honestly it doesn't matter who he is- the donor-the sperm donor, I mean. We've always been fine. I don't even know why I'm talking about this-" she tried to mask her tears with a laugh, "I mean, why should you care?"

She was definitely Erin's daughter, no contest.

"Because-" the words he wanted to say, died on his tongue. It wasn't his place to tell Paige exactly who the' sperm donor' was. "Your mom's a good woman and she learns from her mistakes."

"How long have you known her?" Paige scoffed.

"The better half of my adult life," he answered ignoring Paige's attitude.

"So, you think we'll be okay?" She asked. If she could hear him say it, maybe she would believe it. Her gray eyes flicked up at him and he saw Erin's fear reflected in Paige's eyes.

"I know you will."

Suddenly, the door to Erin's room flew open. Killing the newly established camaraderie. "Come on, Paige," Mark grumbled, grabbing the girl by her shoulder.

"Dad-let go of me-" Paige protested.

Dave's eyes locked with Mark's and for a moment, neither was willing to look away. It was a battle of wills, each staking their claim to the woman in the hospital bed.

Dave patted his hip in a silent warning. The side arm rested securely in its holster. He wouldn't shoot Mark Strauss. Not here in a hospital..."Ease up on _your_ kid, Mark," he growled. With a smile toward Paige he added, "she looks like she could take you. "

"I'll bet she could, " Mark muttered with pride and dropped his hand. "Good seeing you, David," he said and offered a tight grin.

"Sure," Dave said through gritted teeth.

This wouldn't be the last he saw of Mark Strauss, of this he was certain.

"Mr. Rossi?"

Dave turned back towards Paige.

"Thanks... for the talk," she said with Mark looming behind her.

With a nod and a smile, "Any time."

He pushed the door open and stepped inside the room, the dim lights cast an eerie glow around Erin.

"Holy Hell..." he whispered into the darkness. Stepping closer the light from the hallway shone across her face, the swelling from where the airbag slammed into her, was undeniable.

He stepped further into the room and closed the door. He took a seat at her side and gently lifted her hand off the bed. He put his lips to her knuckles, the only place he could find that wasn't bruised or broken.

"Oh God-my head," She moaned and forced her eyes open.

The room spun, even in the darkness and her stomach felt like she'd taken too many rides on The-Tilt- O'Whirl.

"What do you need?" He reached for the call- light and pressed it.

"Tylenol-" God how she wished for something stronger. "And-" she yanked her hand away from his and pressed it to her lips.

In the nick of time, he grabbed the trash can and held it under her nose.

"David," She gasped. She would know the hand on the back of her neck, anywhere. The softness of his fingertips that cleared her hair out of her face. She willed her stomach to settle and struggled to sit up.

"Yeah?"

"You're getting good at that..."

"Yeah, well, I'm not sure if that's a compliment that I want to accept. He said and tied off the bag.

"Trust me," she said and reached for the water pitcher on the table. "It isn't a compliment I'm comfortable giving," she took a sip through the straw and let the acid burn its way back down her throat. "How's Aaron?"

"I'm sure Housekeeping is going to have a field day with you two." He said dryly. "Hotch is down the hall with a mild concussion and his eardrum is one screaming match away from bursting."

She shook her head until she felt her brain slap the side of her skull. "He was just driving me home-"

"Why didn't you call me?" He asked, his gaze flicked towards her abdomen and the fetal monitor attached to it. Maybe all of this could have been avoided.

"I was up to my ears in paperwork, Dave-"

"When you got here-" he said, stemming her explaination. "I had no idea you were here until Hotch asked how you were. "

"I didn't get the chance, I'd just been put in a room when Mark walked in. Alone. I needed to bury the hatchet with Paige before anything else."

Dave swallowed hard wasn't his baby as important as Paige?

He dismissed the thought immediately.

She caught the emotions flashing in his eyes. Doubt, worry,fear. Love? But for whom? Even as she thought it she knew she wouldn't like the answer.

She squeezed his fingers and prayed he couldn't see the tears in her eyes. "Don't worry, your baby is fine."


	22. Chapter Twenty-One

Dave swallowed hard and squeezed her hand in return. His heart swelled with pride. "That still sounds...weird. My baby."

"Well you say it all the time." If only he could look at her face the same way he looked at her stomach...what she wouldn't give to have that same love sick, adoring expression directed towards her as a woman, if he could just see her as a woman...

Not just some...child rearing machine...capable of giving him the one thing he wanted out of this life...she bit back a sigh...she was forty-five and jealous of her unborn child. How absolutely pitiful.

"You don't," his voice brought her out of her thoughts and into the present moment.

"Well I didn't think you needed reminding," she said and yawned abruptly. "They're doing an ultrasound in the morning-"

"I want to be here-"

"Good, because I'll need a ride home afterwards." She sounded like she was negotiating a business deal.

"You got it," a knock at the door and a nurse stuck her head through the door and sat a paper cup on the table. "Ten more minutes, you can come back in the morning," she said and closed the door behind her.

"Sounds like someone's got a bedtime," he quipped.

Erin winced in pain as she reached for the cup. "Oww, my ribs!"

"I got this," he took the cup from the table and pushed it closer to her dumping the pills in his hand he frowned raising an eyebrow. "I don't think Tylenol is going to help. They can't give you something stronger?"

She sucked in a breath, " Vicodin were offered but I didn't want to risk it."

"Vicodin?" He repeated half in shock and broke the two tablets in half.

"I didn't like it either," she took another sip of water as he handed her half the tablet. "You're a good mother."

"How did you remember that?"

"What? "

"The Tylenol."

"Oh, how could I forgot the and I quote, " the worst hangover of 1983?"

"It was awful, " the grin on her face betrayed her words. As she remembered the night she spent camped out on the couch in the Hoover Building's bomb shelter surrounded by fledgling profilers.

"Jason was taking bets on how many shots would lay you out that night," Dave said thinking back to the Bureau's annual Christmas shindig.

Erin flashed him a look, and he sat the water back on the table. "Tell me you're kidding?"

"I told him it was a bad bet," he said with a shrug. His eyes sparked with unspoken humor.

"Okay," she huffed, "now I have to know, how much was the bet?"

His grin grew wider. "To be fair," he held his hand up in surrender. "They didn't know you as well as I did. And the statute of limitations is well past."

"Deal, now tell me," she prodded,"I want to know. "

"Hotch said you would quit at four shots of tequila and still keep dancing."

"Hmm...and what was the wager?"

"Two-Hundred bucks and one vacation day."

"Carry on." She said with a flippant wave of her one good hand.

"Anyway, " he spread his hands wide. "Jason said five shots and someone would find us in the closet the next morning."

"Us?" She repeated, one perfect eyebrow arched in disbelief. "As in you and me?"

"Yep, and then I won."

"And you won," she mocked,"please, don't flatter yourself. The one year the Bureau decided to spring for an open bar, I came down with a migraine."

"Thank God for small favors and if you remember correctly, I wasn't as...well endowed as I am now. So... thanks for not drinking that night. "

"Oh I'm sure that's not true." She quipped to bring him back from his thoughts.

His eyes flashed when he caught her double meaning, "naughty girl."

He moved from the chair and flipped off the light.

"Well apparently my reputation is deceiving, the next time you talk to Jason you can tell him it only took two Tylenol to put me on my ass."

"That's one sexy ass, and it only took two Tylenol to get you to spend the night with me."

"Not the most romantic night of my life," she deadpanned. She continued in a softer tone, "but to your credit, you didn't leave my side."

"I was an ass-hole wrapped in tin foil," he admitted. Crossing the room he adjusted the pillows behind her back and prayed he wouldn't aggravate her ribs.

"I don't need help," she argued and struggled to sit up.

"I think you do, " he grabbed the pillow away from her back.

"Okay, I do! " She panted as her ribs pulled and she fell backwards.

He slipped one hand between her shoulder blades and eased her head against the pillow.

"I think you've upgraded to armor," she said breathlessly as her bruised ribs adjusted to laying back.

"You know, " he brushed her hair out of her face in the semi-darkness. "I wouldn't be leaving now if-"

"You can go home, Dave,"she mumbled as her eyes began to drift closed and sleep began to claim her. "I'll still be here."

He kissed her forehead and she smiled in the dark as his beard scratched her skin.

"Goodnight, Erin," she listened as he stepped towards the door.

"Goodnight, Snitch."

Dave chuckled and stepped into the hallway. He checked his phone for the time. 2:00am no wonder the nurse wanted him gone. He didn't want to go home, he didn't want to listen to the clock ticking on the wall of his bedroom as sleep evaded. He passed the nurse's station and boarded the elevator. The BAU was closer to the hospital with any luck he could pass out on the couch in his office and be back in Erin's room by 6:00am.

He spotted his car and got in he slipped the key in the ignition when his phone buzzed from his pocket.

He read the text and smiled.

_Thanks for coming _

He tapped out:You're supposed to be resting pausing for a second his hands froze over the keys. Saying I love you over text seemed so impersonal. Just the thought of saying the words sent a familiar warmth spreading through him but, what if she didn't say it back?

He shook his head and tried to focus on the drive back to the office. Thankfully the traffic was light and by the time he parked the car in the parking garage a strong wind could have blown him over.

He unlocked his office and laid back on the sofa.

"What day is it?" Erin asked when Mary walked in the room, her small frame was hidden behind the ultrasound machine she was pushing.

"It's Saturday, why?"

"That weasel!" Erin struggled to sit up. "Why did you let me marry him?"

"You and Mark were happy honeymooners well before I came on the scene and good morning to you, too." Mary emerged from behind the machine a sat down on the stool. "What's he done now?"

She listened as Erin recounted her conversion with Mark and all of the ugly details of the last two months.

"Jesus , Erin," Mary gestured to the bruises on her face and broken arm. As if Erin hadn't spoken even though she would remember every word.

"If this is what it takes to put you in front of me you might want to switch doctors. "

"Well, clearly I've been busy," Erin deflected. She pressed the button on the bed's remote until she was sitting up.

"Well," Mary huffed, "it happens, enough chatter." She took the tube of gel off the cart with a glimmer of excitement in her eyes. This was her favorite part of her job. "Let's see that baby."

"Wait-" she held up one hand, "Dave's not here."

"Erin, I'm sorry...I have other patients..."

"You can't come back?" She asked, even as she said it, Erin knew she was grasping at straws.

"I'm sorry..."

"Damnit!" Dave swore as the elevator departed without him. He glanced at his phone, no service flashed on the screen. He looked around at the boxes that lined the wall. The hospital's storage room was less organized than he expected.

"I've waited this long without an ultrasound, a few minutes isn't going to hurt," Erin argued. "Please?"

"Let me finish the rest of the exam and I'll do the ultrasound last, but if he's not here by then-"

"Deal." Erin said and lay back with her feet in the stirrups. One question burned in her mind. Where the hell was Dave?

Mary pulled on a pair of exam gloves, snapping them in place she said, "if he shows up you better marry him."

His heart beating against his breastbone, Dave rushed down the hall. He couldn't miss this. With the nurse's post-it note crunched in his fist he scanned the hall for room 504.

He skidded to a halt in front of the door his hand shook against the handle. He took an unsteady breath and pushed the door open.

"Am I late?" He closed the door and stood by Erin. "Did I miss anything?"

"Right on time, " Erin said and reached for his hand. She pulled up her gown, excitement lit her face. "Show us our baby."

"The gel might be cold," Mary said applying some to Erin's stomach.

Erin nodded shivering slightly, "eighteen years and it hasn't gotten any warmer."

"That's the uterus, " Mary said moving the probe around and that's...your baby."

"That's our baby, Erin!"

Erin squeezed Dave's hand tighter. "I know...look that's the hand!"

"He's waving at us!" Dave beamed with happiness he couldn't express. At that moment he was a writer without words.

"Everything looks perfect if not a little small. Do you want to know the gender?"

Erin shook her head Dave was bouncing on his toes. "Then cover your ears, Sweetheart I don't like surprises."

Mary moved the probe around, "and there's something else." She turned the monitor towards them so they saw the whole screen.

Erin felt her stomach drop for a moment everything went dark Dave's voice was drowned out by the blood that rushed through her ears as she focused on the screen. Perfect fingers and toes stared back at her. Love for her family and the new life she was piecing together with Dave unexpectedly flooded her heart.

Dave kissed the side of her head.

"This is amazing Erin," he said as the sound of tiny heartbeats filled the room.

She turned towards him eyes brimming with tears she wouldn't let fall, "it really is."

_There are two things this world is never prepared for-twins._

_-Henry Kissinger-_


	23. Chapter Twenty Two

**I have exciting news to share with you, thanks to you guys The Power of Love TIED with The Marvelous Mad Madam Mim's story No Good Deed, it's a great read as winner of Best Rossi\Strauss in the 2014 Profilers Choice Awards! Kudos to you guys and congratulations to all the winners, runner ups and to the nominees!**

_**L**ove is patient and kind, it does not envy, it does not boast._

_-First Corinthians-_

Erin lay back in the hospital bed, her fingers ran gently across her belly, fishing for movement. The ultrasound alleviated her fears that something was horribly wrong with her baby and left her impatient. Two babies meant twice the kicks and she wanted to feel all of them. A bored sigh escaped her lips. "You really won't kick for me...?"

The nurse had taken the TV remote when the doctor decided to observe her for another night. She picked up her phone, maybe Dave could come back? Or she could talk some sense into Mark. She knew immediately that the battery was dead. Completely drained.

"Alright...fine...I guess I do deserve the silent treatment considering I didn't know there were two of you." A gentle flutter passed under her fingers and she smiled when the knock at the door brought her out of her reverie. "Come in,"

"I come bearing gifts," Dave said peeking around the giant teddy bear in one hand and a shopping bag in the other."

"How the hell did you sneak in here with that thing?" She asked, a smile tugging at the corners of her mouth.

"Eh," He sat the bag on the floor and the bear in the chair. "I have my ways. I told the nurse I was a candy-striper. She didn't buy it."

"Oh, please don't make me laugh," she said holding her ribs.

Gesturing to the adorable dark brown teddy bear, in a bowtie. "I thought you could use the company tonight. How are you feeling?"

"Sore," she answered simply, "and my phone is dead, I need to call the kids."

He reached in the bag, "Here, don't let the nurse catch you."

"My hero! Did they frisk you?" Erin joked accepting the charger She plugged her phone in and turned it on. How did he know exactly what she needed?"

"Nope, the guards let me pass free of charge."

"Shocking," she rolled her eyes until her head hurt. "I don't understand why I'm so restricted-"

"So you can rest without interruption-" he held up one hand, "that's what the nurse said when I called."

"Until someone comes in to interrupt. I can sleep and screen my own calls at home."

"You could, "he pretended to think it over, "but you wouldn't have my bedside visits. Or this," he pulled out a square box from the bag.

"You wouldn't come to see me?" She asked softly in mock hurt. Flipping back the lid with one hand, inside lay the biggest and most sinful slice of double chocolate cake she had ever seen.

"Well," he sat down and passed her a fork. "I would, but you would have to share the cake."

"Is that hospital issued?" She wouldn't mind sharing the hospital's dry, chocolate colored cardboard with the nurse who screened her calls.

His eyes sparked, "not in the slightest."

"In that case, "she speared a bite, the decedent morsel melted on her tongue. "We can't have that: This is delicious."

"Well, thank you,"

Her eyes widened, "David Rossi bakes?"

"And cooks, my mother left me a few of the old world recipes." Nodding toward her tray, "including that cake."

Touched by his gesture she asked, "Why would you bake an entire cake just for me?"

Shrugging he said, "My sweet-tooth wouldn't let up and I needed someone to share it with. It looks like I wasn't your only visitor," he said eyeing the bouquet of tulips on the nightstand.

"I sent Paige to the cafeteria," Erin yawned and said, "I can't wait to get out of here. I need a shower." She didn't want to think about the amount of grease that had built up in her hair.

Scratching the top of her cast, "my arm itches like hell!"

He pointed to the cast, "How long do you have that?"

Scratching the palm of her hand, trying to reach under the cast. "Eight weeks, I can't complain too much at least it's just my wrist. The cast was a precaution. Have you heard from Aaron?"

"Jessica picked him up earlier, Jack could have floated away from all the balloons they brought in."

"That's sweet, "Erin said with a smile.

"I thought so too, until she lit into him. It was like listening to Haley all over again."

Erin shook her head, "that's a terrible thing to say, David."

He shrugged as if to say, 'well it's the truth.' "Jessica gets more time with the kid than Hotch does as it is."

"She's holding on to the only thing left of her sister and I can't say I blame her. You saw her at the funeral... I'm sure she was just worried that Jack would lose his only parent."

"Hotch can't share the same air with his son without her second guessing him. I don't see why he puts up with it."

"She did step up to take care of Jack so Aaron could come back to work. That has to count for something, Dave."

"Not really." He said harshly, "Not when she tried to fight him for full custody. Hotch is a good man, he shouldn't have to go through this again."

Running her hand down his arm she said, "You can't fix everything."

He let out a breath, "I know, but I'm his best friend I can't sit back and watch. The sick part is, Aaron doesn't have another choice."

"How long have you held on to this?"

"Awhile." He looked at the clock, "I wonder what's taking Paige so long."

Erin picked up her phone "I need to call her."

"Give her ten minutes, she's probably chatting with the nurses. We had an interesting conversation yesterday."

"When?"

"I didn't tell you? I ran into her in the hallway outside your room before your ex manhandled her out of here. She's a smart girl, Erin."

Erin laughed, "and she hero worships you."

"Like I said, she's a smart girl," he boasted.

"I'm surprised she could form a coherent thought. With you around."

He grinned, "She was flustered at first but, like her mom, she told me exactly how she felt."

He would take the girl's fear of abandonment to the grave. He had a feeling if he breathed a word about it, that's where the two Strauss women would send him-to his grave-express style.

"That's the problem," Erin scoffed, "she's exactly like me. Too smart and stubborn for her own good."

"She's just scared, Erin," he intertwined their hands. "She's just a little girl trying to be a grown-up."

"I know that." She choked damn the tears that came without warning. She pulled her hand back to wipe them away but Dave beat her to it. The pads of his thumbs caught them as they hit her cheeks.

"Do you think I wanted this kind of pressure on her?" She said as his dark eyes met her gray ones.

"Of course not," he said gently. If only he had the power to take her fears away, not just Erin's but Paige's too. He could hunt bad guys all day everyday but what good did that do if he couldn't slay the monsters that haunted the woman he loved.

"She's 17 years old! It's no wonder she took off when she found out about the baby all she heard was, 'more responsibility."

"Who better to solve a problem with mini-you, than the two people who know you best?

"And who would that be?"

"You and me of course."

A knock at the door halted her response.

"Is-um- something going on here?" Paige asked

inspecting the scuff marks on the toes of her sneakers.

"Well, there she is," Dave said, sitting back in the chair. "No more tears, Mom," he teased to lighten the mood.

"The last time I saw you, your mom was parading you around the BAU in a baby sling."

"Hush up, Dave," she shot back, her tongue shot out at him. "That was not my finest moment."

"You seemed fine to me,"

Erin felt a blush creeping up her neck, "I said, hush up."

"Yes Ma'am."

"You two sound like an old married couple," Paige said with a smile. She leaned in and hugged her mom. "I missed you so much," she said just loud enough for Erin to hear.

"I know, I missed you too come here." Erin moved further on the bed for her daughter to sit.

"I want to come home." Paige said.

"Good, because I want you there."

Erin smoothed her daughter's long curls away from her face, the purple coloring was nearly gone. She'd missed the nights she spent twisting those strands into foam rollers to achieve those curls and she wondered with a stab of envy if it was Jamie who had rolled it last night.

"I want to put the last few months into the past, we need each other now more than we did before. I never meant to hurt you, Mom and I didn't mean what I said. Please forgive me?"

Erin nodded, "Paige," She said gently. "I'm your mother, I forgave you the minute you said it."

"But...why...everything I said, I was so mean. Mom, why-how could you forgive me?" Paige asked softly.

"Because..." Erin kissed her forehead, "that's my job."

"I'll give you ladies some time to catch up," Dave said, "call me when you're discharged and I'll come pick you up."

"Thanks," Erin said as he reached for the door handle, "for everything."

He looked over his shoulder with peace in his heart. Everything was falling into place.

"Anytime."

"Wait," Paige called, suddenly shy, her voice stalled in her throat.

"What's up, Kid?"

"I-um...I never got that interview. The project's finished now, but...maybe we could still...? If you're not too busy."

Dave couldn't hide his smile, he'd been waiting for this for too long to turn it down now.

"Too busy? Nah, not me. I'll tell you what, I have some vacation days that we can use. After your mom heals up we could all go to the aquarium. Or find something fun for your brother and sister to do while we talk. But it's not for school so don't worry about taking notes."

Paige's eyes widened in excitement, "can we, Mom, please!"

Erin threw him a look as if to say, 'I told you so'

"I don't see why not."

"I'll see you soon," Dave said with a wink and took his leave.


	24. Chapter Twenty-Three

_Piglet sidled up to Pooh from behind. "Pooh!" he whispered. "Yes, Piglet?" "Nothing," said Piglet, taking Pooh's paw. "I just wanted to be sure of you."_

_-A.A. Miln_

"Your kids are going to hate me, " Dave maneuvered the car around the turn; they were two streets from her house. From the corner of his eye he watched her shoulders tense when they drove past the crash- site.

She cleared her throat awkwardly, thinking of how Aaron tried to force her out of the car before it caught fire. Just two nights after, there was no trace that it ever happened. It could have been a dream;if she didn't have the cast to prove it

"They will not,"she denied. "The city works fast," she said softly, "you can't even tell we were there."

He reached over and gave her thigh a gentle squeeze.

"I need you to lie to me and tell me I'm not about to be lynched by a bunch of teenagers."

"Paige is as prickly as a cactus,and she's crazy about you; but you already know that."

"She's crazy about the version of me that she's cooked up in her imagination. "

"Lucky for you, she isn't far off."

"If Paige is a cactus, prickly and strong; what about Paul and McKenzie? "

She closed her eyes briefly, her freshmen year of college botany drifted back to her. "In keeping with the plant analogy, Paul is my bonsai."

Dave nodded, "Delicate?"

"Temperamental," she said with a snort. "Fair warning, it takes him awhile to warm up to people."

"Great," Dave said with feigned confidence. He could profile criminals but normal teenagers were a whole new ballgame. The last thing he wanted was to lose any chance he had with Erin if her kids didn't like him. "What about McKenzie?"

Erin's eyes lit involuntary a ripple of happiness spread through her veins as her house came into view. The kids were outside, she could see Paul tossing a baseball in his glove and both her girls were knelt in the flower bed.

"She's my rose, beautiful and delicate but easy to please."

Dave pulled the car smoothly into Erin's driveway. An ambush of people circled the vehicle before he could park. Turning to the woman beside him he said, with a smile. "It looks like someone is happy to see you."

Erin smiled at the sight of her children through the window, Paul ventured nearer to the car and she sighed at the bags that marred the skin around his eyes.

" Move out of the way!" She said rolling down the window. The warm breeze filtered in against her face, the smell of sunshine and the sights and sound of her children, all three of them surrounding her. It was the perfect homecoming after two days away all she wanted was a shower and a decent meal.

The passenger door was pulled open and Erin was assaulted by arms around her neck. "Mom!" Paul buried his face in his mother's hair before she could unlatch her seatbelt.

"Easy, Baby I'm still sore-" Erin grimaced, hugging him tight with one arm.

"Sorry," he pulled away and moved so she could get out of the car.

"That's okay, Honey, Momma missed you too."

Paul grabbed the gift bag from the floorboard, "I'll get this."

He opened the door of the back seat and grabbed his mother's duffel bag. He snuck a peek inside the gift bag, the stuffed bear stared back at him. "Creepy," he mumbled and slammed the car door.

Dave stepped out of the car, the girls were already escorting Erin inside before he had the chance to introduce himself. Even his biggest fan forgot he was there where her mother was concerned.

"Tell me there's no more in the trunk," Paul said, with the duffel slung over his shoulder.

"Nope, you got it all," he reached for the bag, "want some help?"

"No thanks."

"I'm Dave, " he held out his hand.

"Funny," Paul gave a sardonic laugh, "Me too but most people call me Paul."

Dave pulled the front door open and held it.

"Paul," Erin cut in, "did you introduce yourself? "

Dave followed Erin's voice up the steps of the foyer and into the dining room.

"I have to take this upstairs, Mom," Paul protested, he brushed past Dave as if he was furniture.

"Leave it." Erin said, but Paul was halfway up the stairs.

"Ignore him," McKenzie said, perched on the wide arm of the sofa, with Erin between her and Paige; "he doesn't like anyone. "

"Nope," Paige agreed, turning towards her sister ,"David Rossi, meet my baby sister, McKenzie. That jerk upstairs is our brother, Paul and " she made a waving motion between Dave and Erin,"you're familiar with Mom."

"So," Paul stepped off the last step, "what are your intentions with my mother?"

"Paul!" Shocked and embarrassed, all three women spoke at once Dave caught the blush moving up Erin's neck.

"Calm down, Ladies, " Dave waved them off, "he's asked a good question."

"Did you send those chocolates?" McKenzie pipped in.

"Would flowers have been better?" He asked, looking directly at McKenzie.

She shook her head, with a grin. "Nope, four pounds of chocolate was just fine."

"Now," Dave took a seat in the lounge chair across from the sofa, "my intentions with your mother are simple. I love her very much and I want to be in her life as long as she'll let me."

"Mom," McKenzie squeaked she leaned over and said, "he does know we're a package deal, right?"

Erin nodded, "he knows."

"Do you drink? " Paul's gaze went hard, "because we don't need that."

"I have an occasional scotch after a bad case and I know your mom's in recovery; she's working really hard to stay sober and I won't jeopardize that."

"Do you smoke?"

"Cigars, sometimes, " he amended.

"Do you have kids?"

Sensing the next question Dave said, "I've been married and divorced three times with no living children, that I know of."

"That's enough, Paul. "Erin said sharply.

"Let him talk, Erin, how am I going to make the cut if he doesn't know anything about me?"

"One more and I'll stop."

"Lay it on me, Kid."

"Did you knock-up my mom?" Paul asked, his face cycling through various shades of red as he stared at the carpet.

"That's, " Dave blew out a breath, there was no way of putting it delicately. "That's a big question and, " he looked at Erin and Paige and McKenzie; whatever headway he'd made with them could be gone.

"A valid question, I'm not ashamed to admit that we didn't use protection."

"I knew it!" Paige said without heat. Erin chanced a glance at her eldest .

Paige smiled and said, "I knew it yesterday!" Her eyes flicked from her mother to Dave and back again, "you two suck at keeping secrets! "

Paul cleared his throat, "so...um..that clears that up."

"Any other questions? " Dave asked.

"I've got a question, " Erin said, turning to Paige, "who are you and what have you done with my bratty teenager?"

Paige shrugged, "same brat, different circumstances."

"No more teenage runaways?" Dave asked.

"I'll stick around awhile longer, " she joked.

"What about you, Paul?" Erin asked, "are you going to take off?"

Paul shook his head in the negative, "I'm staying." He looked at his younger sister, "you're not going to Dad's, are you Kenzie?"

"Nope," she made a show of stretching back on the sofa, "I kinda like where I am."

"I'm glad that's settled," Erin said, "I'm starving, who wants food?"

"I'll cook," Dave offered, "in fact I could use the practice,"

"We'll help, " McKenzie said sliding to her feet she headed to the kitchen.

"Good idea," Erin said, "show Dave where everything is and try not to burn anything. "

"We won't, " McKenzie called.

"You won't try or you won't burn anything?" Erin followed into the kitchen and pulled out a roll of beef from the refrigerator. "Ask Dave what he can do with this."

"We won't burn anything. " Paige took a seat at the counter, "promise."

"Good," a small yawn escaped her lips. "I'm going to take a nap." Mounting the stairs she glanced from her cast to the railing. Suddenly she realized that she couldn't grip the banister. "On the couch."

"I'll take care of dinner, " Dave said, he could feel three sets of eyes on him. "Do you have your phone?"

"It's upstairs, why?"

"Then that's where we're going. Take my arm."

"Dave-" she started to protest but the thought of her own bed overruled. She looped her arm through his and slowly, they started up the stairs.

McKenzie's chin rested on her hands, she was completely enamored by the sight of her mom with Dave.

"What's that look for? " Paul asked snidely; like a true older brother he didn't see what his sisters saw.

"Did you see how he looks at her?" McKenzie said, in awe. "It's like...something out of a romance movie.

"You mean a porno?" Paul snorted.

"Shut up, Paul! " Both his sisters swatted his shoulder. "Jeeze, I was just kidding, " he groaned, rubbing the offended spot.

"I wonder if Mom sees it."McKenzie said.

Paige shrugged, "probably not."


	25. Chapter Twenty-Four

A kiss without a hug is like a flower without the fragrance.

-Proverb-

"I think that went well, " Dave said as they stepped onto the second floor landing.

"Paul came out of his room to interrogate you, that's saying something." She stopped walking and looked at Dave something akin to respect in her eyes, "you treated him like a man."

"He is a man," Dave replied simply.

"He's my son and you could have dismissed him as just my son-"

"If I did that, I wouldn't have a shot in Hell of earning his respect."

"Most men wouldn't give a damn," Erin said so quietly that her lips barely moved. "You've been dating?" He asked, more surprised than curious.

"After the divorce my dad introduced me to his friend's son. I let him take me out once."  
>"And?"<br>"He didn't make it up my front steps."  
>"Why not?"<p>

She turned around sharply, "does it really matter?"  
>"Just curious, " he answered with a shrug of his shoulders.<p>

"He ordered wine-"  
>"Dear ole dad didn't mention...?<br>"Oh he did, but Jake insisted that I 'hadn't lived until I tried that special bottle." The mocking in her tone wasn't lost on Dave.

"Jake Anders? The lawyer? "  
>She nodded, in surprise; "how do you know him? "<p>

"I've heard his name around town, but we're getting off track. what did you do about the wine?"

"I let him pour a glass, I picked it up and made a show of savoring it."

Dave stared at her, this story was going somewhere Erin didn't break her sobriety for an insensitive bone-head like Jake Anders. "And?"

A self-satisfied smirk spread across her face, "and then I dumped it on him and called a cab."

Dave doubled over and laughed a big gut-busting laugh the image of Jake's mousy face dripping champagne. "That poor asshole."

Erin stopped at the end of the hall outside her bedroom, "this is me."  
>"Was that your last date?" Dave asked, before she could disappear behind the door.<p>

"Before you came along. Do you want to..." she gestured awkwardly, and opened the door slightly; "do you want to come in?"

"This isn't an invitation to stay. I still have to make dinner."  
>"No, but it is an invitation to help me out of this bra."<br>"Even better," she took his hand and pulled him inside.

"It's freezing in here," she eyed the cat curled on the foot of her bed, little gray hairs covered the white comforter.

"I'll get the window, " Dave said, and made his way across the room while Erin chased the cat from her bed. "Shoo Beau!" The tabby twitched at the sound of her voice and he took off towards the window. He pounced and caught air landing on the loveseat across from the bed. "Is that a cat or a flying squirrel? " Dave asked, bewildered.

"He might be a hybrid, " Erin said as the animal in question, hopped on the nightstand to look out the window. His tail arched against the plant on the nightstand; he sniffed Dave as he slid the window closed. "Is this the plant that I gave you?" Dave asked.

"No."Erin came up behind him to look out the window, her chin resting on his shoulder, her uninjured arm wrapped around his waist. "McKenzie helped me plant it outside," she pointed towards the backyard.

Purple and white perennials flourished from their beds as tulips began to go dormant in the mid-August heat. "I think I waited too long to replant it, it probably won't bloom," just a trace of guilt laced her tone.

"That's okay, " He said and turned to face her, his hands came to rest on her hips, "there are plenty of plants where that one came from; and even if it doesn't grow, " he reached up to cradle her neck. His other hand tucked a stray strand of ash blonde hair behind her ear. "I'd like to think that something else bloomed the night I gave it to you."

"I think you're right," Erin said, she stood on her toes and brushed her lips against his in a whisper soft kiss. "Thank you for everything."

Dave grinned, "if that's what I get, I should drive you home more often. " He reached behind her and gripped the strap of her sling, "want this off?"

"More than you will ever know." She bent forward and he lifted the strap over her head until it fell to the floor. "Much better." She sighed and reached up to rub her shoulder.

"You should sit before you fall," he said as she wrapped him in a hug with her cheek on his chest.  
>"I'm fine, " she went to the dresser, unbuttoning her blouse with one hand as she rifled through the drawers.<p>

Dave's hand on her shoulder stalled her movements, his fingers massaged the tense muscle. "I'll get it, just tell me what you want. "

"Anything that doesn't require a bra," Erin grumbled, attempting to remove the annoying article, but the movement caused her ribs to pull.

"Lucky for you, bras and panties don't scare me."  
>Suddenly self-aware that she was closer to the big 5-0 and four months pregnant with sag and stretch marks in more places than she'd ever admit; "what about sagging breasts? " She pulled back the bed covers and laid down.<p>

"There's absolutely no such thing as a bad breast. " He sat down on the edge of the bed. "Let me show you a gentleman's trick."

Reaching under the blanket, his hands found the opening of her blouse; her soft and creamy skin felt so natural against his fingertips as his body began to respond. He felt her breathing hitch and knew if he could see her, his private ache would be over.

But this was a gentleman's trick and what he wanted to do wasn't very gentle. He found the clasp of her bra and unfastened it, taking it and the blouse down her shoulders. His palm slid over the firm, warm flesh of her belly where his children grew until he found the band of her yoga pants; on instinct her hips rose to meet his hands. As he slid the pants past her knees he pulled them out from under the blanket.

"Look Mom," He answered, with a devilish grin. "No eyes. "

Erin snorted in response, "impressive, Agent Rossi, how many others have you used that on?"

"There's a first time for everything, " Dave said and passed her a blue satin nightgown. She slid it over her head. " I lied when I said there was no such thing as a bad breast."

She shrugged, "young and perky beat smooth and drooping, every day of the week."

"Wrong." His gaze began to smolder with undefined heat, "the only bad breasts are the ones that I'm not allowed to see because the woman I love won't allow it."

"Dave, you don't have to say that."

He cut her off and got to his feet, "any man who doesn't want to see you naked, must have skipped the line when God was handing out brains."

She laughed and said, "If any man saw me naked, I'd have to call the crime scene unit to cover up a murder. "

"You got that right. I'm a hot-blooded, Italian man with a beautiful, half-naked woman right in front of me and dammit if I don't have to go cook!" In a word, this sucked. He was pushing 60; twenty years ago he could get going for anything in a skirt, not now. Erin Strauss was a different being entirely and he couldn't have her either. At least not in the physical sense when there was more than bruised ribs and a broken wrist between them.

"I'm afraid so," Erin said in mock pity as she settled down under the blankets, "did you see all the pizza boxes in the trash?"  
>"Pitiful, " he shook his head, "they're starving. "<br>"Go feed my babies. " She demanded as her eyes drifted closed.

"Yes, Ma'am, " he leaned in and touched his lips to her forehead.

"Dave?" His hand stalled on the doorknob. "Yes? "  
>"Would you," the word stay, hovered on her lips. "Send Paul up here?"<p>

* * *

><p>"We thought you got lost, " Paige teased as Dave stepped off the stairs and joined them in the kitchen. "Sorry about that, Mom was, " he paused nervously and struggled for something witty to say. "Well, Mom was talking my ear off. But I'm under strict orders to make sure you three get a decent meal."<p>

Paige blushed slightly, "she noticed, huh?"

"She's your mom, you should have recycled." Dave shrugged and sliced open the roll of beef.

Two pairs of accusing eyes glared at Paige,"That's what I said!" McKenzie said in disdain for her sister, "nobody listens to the ten year old," she grumbled shaking her head.

"Who cares," Paul said with all the bravado of a man in charge, "it was good pizza."

Burgers or meat loaf?" Dave asked, watching the kids interact, McKenzie fluttered through the kitchen, between cabinets and the refrigerator, retrieving whatever she thought he would need. Judging by the bowls and spices that sat on the counter, anything other than meatloaf would be wrong.

Paige stood on her toes and took a mixing bowl from the cabinet to the left of the sink. "Meat-loaf." She answered and passed Paul a potato peeler. "Paul,"Dave said, cracking eggs into the bowl, "mom wants to see you. "

"I shall return, " he said with an exaggerated bow of his head and disappeared up the stairs.

Dave grinned at Paul's antics, the kid was obviously showing off but that didn't mean he wasn't funny. "Now, the key to a good meatloaf, " Dave, rolled up his sleeves and added the meat to the eggs. "Is binding. Do you have crackers? " He asked, opening the pantry where McKenzie had gotten the potatoes.

"Don't crunch mom's goldfish, " McKenzie warned. He jerked his hand back as if the bag would spontaneously combust.

Dave chuckled and picked up the bag, "I'll take my chances with Mom,"  
>"I wouldn't, " Paige called as they emerged back into the kitchen. "The dog disappeared when Mom was pregnant with McKenzie, because it ate her Oreos."<p>

He grabbed the bag and headed into the kitchen, "I can guarantee, I'll be the last dog standing. "


	26. Chapter Twenty-Five

_Life is a mirror and will reflect back to the thinker what he thinks into it._

_-Ernest Holmes-_

* * *

><p>That's weird," Erin sat her phone back on the nightstand. She hadn't left the bed since she had gotten home. Instead Dave and the kids had claimed their places around her. Paige and McKenzie on the bed, Paul on the love-seat and Dave took the Lazy-Boy in the corner.<p>

Dinner had gone off without a hitch, Erin had great kids and Dave couldn't wait to spend more time with them but he didn't want to outstay his welcome. "Next time we go to my place. " He said, stacking paper plates into the trash can. The impromptu picnic in Erin's bedroom was a messy affair. Ketchup droplets littered the carpet from meatloaf gone awry.

"Deal. Now come listen to this. "

"What is it?" He asked, coming closer to the bed.

"Listen. " He passed her the phone and she tapped the screen to replay the voice-mail. The nurse's professional sympathy filled the space.

"This is June from St Sebastian's hospital, I'm calling about Aaron Hotchner, he's been in an accident. "

"Huh." Dave's brow knotted in confusion as the message stopped. "I guess the hospital got their wires crossed; they called me too. Who did they call for you? "

"Mark. He has the kids." She added in explanation.

He rubbed her shoulder, "you don't have to explain anything to me."

"Why would Aaron even put me as an emergency contact? If something happened, God forbid, I can't make decisions for him. What about Beth or Jessica or Hell even Morgan knows him better than I do! "

"I'll talk to him."

"I should call him," she bit her lip, "that would only be right."

Dave shrugged, "do it. His work phone is probably turned off." Dave pulled his phone from his jeans, "let me give you his personal." He scrolled through his contacts and stopped. "Give me your phone. " He punched the numbers in, "I'm heading out. "

She leaned up slightly, her lips tingled with anticipation. "Thanks...for..." was he seriously going to leave without any semblance of a goodbye? He took his jacket from the back of the recliner and pulled it on.

"Don't thank me but your kids are great."

She swallowed her thanks, "so was dinner." When did they become so awkward? One kiss had turned them both into tongue-tied teenagers. She glanced down at her abdomen, it was too late for awkwardness. "Are you going to kiss me or not?" She demanded.

He leaned one knee against the mattress, an indulgent look lit his face. "I thought you would never ask, I'm glad you changed your mind about making it a habit. "

His lips covered hers in a tender kiss. The tip of his tongue flicked between her lips; she tasted like warm honey. Her lips encased his and he knew what it felt like as his body tingled with unspoken pleasure, his soul had found its home. Right there in her bedroom.

Erin pulled away and lay back against the pillows.

"I should never have to ask."

Dave chuckled and cupped her chin in his hand, "yes Ma'am. Now I'm going to leave while the kids still think I'm cool, call me if you need me, and definitely if you want me." He threw a wink over his shoulder and disappeared behind the door. "Goodnight, Dave." She called. She listened to his laughter float down the stairs until the front door closed.

She checked the time, the kids wouldn't be home for awhile, she'd sent them to the park down the street after dinner with strict orders to be home by nightfall. That wouldn't be too hard, Paul had his soccer ball; if anything it would be prying him away from the open goalie nets that would be a challenge.

"Here we go." She whispered to the empty room, Beau was curled up behind her knees; not even the cat could listen in on her phone call.

She pressed the dial pad on the phone and held it to her ear. One ring. Two rings. Three rings. She was about to hang up when a shrill voice answered.

"Hello."

Oh Hell.

Erin kept her tone professionally curt,"is Agent Hotchner there?"

"He's resting." The woman's voice seemed to boil from the inside. "He was in a serious accident three nights ago."

Erin cut her off mid tirade, "and so was I. I'm just checking in."

"Oh. Well he's resting. He doesn't have the strength to deal with you again. "

Erin never had the misfortune of dealing with Haley Hotchner, apparently Jessica wasn't much better frankly she couldn't imagine being married to either one of them.

Before Erin could respond she heard a familiar baritone in the background.

"Give me the phone, Jess."

"Aaron!" Jessica squealed.

"Give me the damn phone."

"Hello?"

Erin cleared her throat, "How are you?"

"Ready to get out of here. You?"

She heard a door close and the low hum of a garage opening, apparently he'd left Jessica in the dust.

"Well I wish I shared your work ethic. It's only been three days."

"Don't get me wrong, I love the extra time with Jack but, if I'm going to be micromanaged I'd rather do it at work."

The man had a point.

"Give it another week, you won't be cleared to fly but you will be able to concentrate long enough for paperwork; but it has to stay in the office; I have to say it; things must be bad if you would rather deal with me."

Hotch didn't know whether to laugh or say thank you. "at least with Strauss I know I'm getting paid."

"Good point. How about half days until you're cleared to fly?"

"That's fair. If you don't mind my asking, what about you?"

"Half days with voice typing until the cast comes off."

"Erin, about the accident, I didn't get a chance to call.I'm working with the insurance company, you should be getting a call soon about compensation. "

"Stop that, it wasn't your fault and you know it. The last thing I want to deal with is an insurance adjuster."

"My car has already been taken care of."

"Good," she said, hoping that was the end of the subject.

Hotch took the hint, "have you talked to Dave?"

"He just left."

"That's good. "

She didn't know why she wanted to tell Aaron, maybe because he handled her meltdown better than any of her girlfriends not that she had many of those. But it was good news and she wanted to share it.

She smiled and he could hear it in her voice, "oh he couldn't be happier, we're having twins."

"Is everyone okay?"

"Small but unfazed, " she said, knowing where his mind was headed.

"Good. That's big news, I'm surprised Dave isn't passing out cigars. "

Erin laughed, "give it time!"

His tone turned serious, "you should consider telling the team."

"We will, eventually. "

"With all due respect, you don't have a lot of time before it's obvious and playing them for stupid won't earn you any favors."

"I know, I just don't want to jinx it."

"Do you want my advice? "

She barely suppressed an eye roll, " not that it's any of your concern but do I have a choice?"

"Schedule a dinner, on your own time, and I'll make sure they come. Henry and Jack can stay with Jessica. Make it on neutral ground."

"So I don't look like the boss."

"Exactly. "

"I'll consider it." She nodded slightly even though he couldn't see, "I have to talk it over with Dave."

"Keep in touch?"

"Sure," it surprised her that she meant it.

* * *

><p>The rest of the week passed without event, it wasn't until Wednesday that Erin had enough of counting the ceiling tiles above her bed, that she ventured into the office for her very first half day.<p>

"What are you doing here?" Dave asked. He could feel the eyes of his coworkers follow him as he steered Erin towards his office. All she wanted was to top off her decaf and get a donut from the cafeteria, and the BAU was on the same floor. She was going to pop in on Aaron, just to see how he was doing. But Dave got to her first.

"Well hello to you, too," she said dryly.

"Have you had lunch? And donuts don't count. "

* * *

><p>"What kind of deliciousness is this?" Penelope had wandered into the bullpen with the lowdown on their newest consultation when she saw it; her boss was being led into Rossi' s office and nobody was yelling. In fact, he invited her inside.<p>

Penelope leaned against the nearest desk in hopes of a better view of the window.

"J.J?" Her six inch heels nearly betrayed her and she gripped her friend's arm, never taking her eyes off of Rossi's window. "What is this? " she asked in a frantic whisper.

"Garcia, if I had to guess, I'd say we're looking at an inter-office relationship."

"Who do we tell? Hotch? Should we tell him?"

"I'm pretty sure he knows."

"Aren't there rules against this?"

J.J. shot her a pointed look, "are you going to tell?"

"No. No of course not! I dated Kevin, I can't judge. I mean do we share this particular piece of juiciness with the rest of the team? "

"Good. It's no secret that he has a thing for her; everyone will figure it out at some point. "

"She's nice, right? I mean she was nice at your wedding but has anyone besides Rossi even talked to her since then? "

"Do you really think he would be in a relationship with someone mean? "

"No but, " her expression dropped, "why haven't they said anything? "

"Don't worry, " J.J. said, "I'm sure you'll get an invitation to the wedding. Now shake it off, we have paperwork to finish. "

"It feels weird not sharing, " Penelope whined, "when I saw them coming out of the hotel, I didn't think anything of it. I thought, maybe they were having an affair and it wouldn't ever be spoke of."

J.J. patted her hand in mock sympathy, "only time will tell P.G. Only time will tell. "

* * *

><p>"I'm going crazy at home," Erin admitted and sat down on the love-seat, "can I help with anything? "<p>

"No, thanks. " He pulled out a folding table and set it up in front of her. "If you want to get a leg up on reports, you can start on mine. "

He rummaged through the mini-fridge and pulled out a cup of fresh fruit.

"Since when do you stockpile watermelon and pineapple?" She asked arching an eyebrow. "We both know you won't eat it."

He pulled the lid off and plucked a piece out with his fingers, "it's not for me." He popped the melon in his mouth and sat the cup on the table. "I told you donuts don't count. "

"Why are you always nagging me about fruit? "

"Because you don't eat enough of it."

"And you eat too much bacon but I don't say a word about your cholesterol. "

"Because you know that nagging me wouldn't do any good. " He unwrapped a plastic fork and handed it to her.

"Whatever." She rolled her eyes and stabbed a piece of pineapple.

"Erin? "

"Hmm?" She glanced up at him.

Dave's eyebrow quirked "I think we have an audience," he nodded towards the exposed window where Reid and Morgan were staring.

Erin stood up and moved away from the glass, "Dave, I'm sorry. "

"Don't be." He grinned lecherously, "I want them to know, Erin. " He leaned down and pressed his lips on hers, audience be damned. "I don't care what they think."

"I do," she argued. "I care what they think. "

"Why? It's our life and our kids and your kids, why the hell do you care about what the team thinks?"

She swallowed tightly, did he mean it? She was sure he did; at least for the moment.

"Who do you call when you can't sleep? " She asked offhand.

Dave thought for a moment, "sometimes I call Hotch. Who do you call?"

"I don't call anyone. "

"Well you can call me."

"That's not my point. Who would you call if your car broke down in the middle of nowhere? "

"What's the point in this, Erin? Why are you interrogating me?"

"Just answer the question. "

He gave her a pointed look, "I'd call a mechanic. "

"Not at two in the morning, you would call Garcia to track your location and she would call Morgan to come get you. Neither of them would think twice about it." She pressed on before he could respond. " And if you needed statistics for your book-"

He cut her off, "I'd Google it!"

"Wrong!"

"Wrong?"

"You would call Reid, it's faster and easier."

"Okay, " he sat down heavily, "you got me Erin, you win. Does that make you happy?"

"That's why it matters, Dave because the team is your family. They have you and you have them, do you know who I have?" She crossed her arms over her chest, her toes tapped against the carpet waiting for his answer. A beat of silence and she answered for him. "Myself. "

"Wrong," he said forcefully he pulled her towards him, "you have me."


	27. Chapter Twenty-Six

_The most powerful weapon on earth is the human soul on fire._

-Ferdinand Foch-

Dave knocked sharply on Hotch's office door and poked his head in. "Hey, got a second? "

Hotch glanced up from his desk, "sure have a seat," He gestured towards the two chairs in front of the desk and Dave sat down.

"How are things with Beth?"

Hotch's gaze dropped to the case reports on his desk he unconsciously shuffled them into a nicer pile, "I'm sorry?"

"Erin is your emergency contact so I'm just wondering why the hospital didn't call Beth the night of the accident."

"I did, just not right away."

"Aaron you know you can't do that. You can't keep secrets from her."

"I'm not keeping secrets, Dave. She had an opportunity in Hong Kong and I encouraged her to take it."

As usual, Dave plowed right through the difficult parts, "is that why you took Jack to Disney World?"

Hotch shrugged slightly, "I had to make it up to him. I needed to explain what was happening and then take his mind off of it."

"Did you two break it off?"

"Not officially but I told her to take the job and to explore other options."

"So you just let her go?"

"Not in the way you think."

"Do you still keep in touch?"

"We try to Skype once a week but it's hard coordinating schedules."

Dave's head cocked to the side, a sign he wasn't fully buying Aaron's story. " Not to mention the time difference."

"That too. Listen Dave, you don't have a problem with Erin as my contact do you? Jack's too young to make those decisions for me and after what Jessica did, I don't have to tell you that she doesn't have my best interest at heart."

"Of course she doesn't," Dave growled. "But you should have told Erin. "

"I know I didn't have a choice. There wasn't time to clear it with her. HR was on my ass so I just gave them a name right before we boarded the jet. I'll have it changed when Beth gets back."

"Let's get out of here. " Dave's face brightened and he looked at his watch, it was after 6:00pm. "Is Jack waiting for you?"

"No. He's with Jessica, she took him."

Dave cut him off, "to see his grandparents?"

"Yeah."

"They get more time with him than you do."

Hotch shook his head, "I know. Even with half days she still wants him every waking moment."

"I wanted to celebrate but it can wait, drive down to Hershey and go get him. Tell him Uncle Dave wants to take him out for ice cream."

Aaron feigned ignorance, "What are we celebrating?"

Dave's face brightened, "I'm going have to double up on the crib space; Erin's having twins!"

Hotch walked around the desk and hugged his mentor, "congratulations!"

Dave pulled back something didn't seem right, "you already knew?"

Hotch's face broke into a rare smile, "I tried to get her to tell the team but she's not budging."

Dave shook his head, "she's surrounded by the best minds in the FBI and she thinks she can hide it."

"I don't think that's the intention."

"She still thinks I'm going to drop the ball. Not that I blame her," he had the grace to look guilty, "I didn't earn the Mr. Reliable reputation, not even close."

"I think you should celebrate, Dave." Hotch grabbed his briefcase and began filling it. "Just not with me."

"What do you mean? Come on Hotch you can't tell me that you can't use a break. There's a boxing match on TV if we hurry we can-"

"Go be with Erin." Hotch said, I have paperwork to catch up on. Go to her house and surprise her with pizza and ice cream and talk baby names until one of you falls asleep."

In answer to Dave's crestfallen expression he added, "It's not beer and hot wings but It's really not as bad as it sounds. She will appreciate it and you can show her you're committed."

Dave wagged his finger towards Hotch. "Who would have thought that you would be giving me relationship advice? "

Hotch grinned, "the student has become the teacher."

Highly offended Dave said, "I wouldn't go that far!" He grabbed the doorknob and held open the door.

"You're probably right, " Hotch said and followed Dave into the hall.

"I think I'll get a workout first." Dave pressed the button for the elevator.

"You know you won't get a six-pack overnight, Old man," Hotch teased.

"Shut up, Aaron."

* * *

><p>Dave looked up from his viewpoint on the weight bench. He replaced the weights with a groan. The barbell clanged back into its place.<p>

He mopped his face with a towel and glared at the younger man standing at the top of the weight bench. His hair was only slightly gray and his T-shirt squeezed against his biceps.

Chip Davis was the only personal trainer at the bureau who would stay late. And Dave liked him for the most part.

"Thanks Chip. I think I need a break." He rubbed his shoulder, that familiar ache made its way down his left arm.

"You should ease up on the weight. Start with some light cardio." Chip pulled his T-shirt over his head, revealing a chiseled abdomen; he hopped on a treadmill and fired it up.

"How old are you, Chip?"

"I'm 62" he said and passed Dave a bottle of water.

Fuck you, Chip. Dave thought to himself. "You're fired." Dave grumbled, more than a little serious. "I didn't realize I was so out of shape," Dave said and took a long slug of water.

"You need to slow down," Chip warned. "You're still new at this."

"It's been three months and I have a family now; they need me around. "

"Did you quit the bacon?"

Dave grimaced, "turkey isn't so bad."

"It's not great, " Chip empathized. "After my heart attack my wife traded it for tofu."

"Screw that."

"That's what I said."

Dave swung his legs over the bench and felt the color drain from his face.

The whole room spun and Dave hauled himself to his feet. His legs felt like jelly, "I'm done." He choked reaching for his collar, he needed air.

"Sit down, Rossi. " Chip's hand stalled on Dave's back, "you need to sit down. Have some water. "

Dave's chest tightened, the familiar pain shot down his arm like lightning and he pitched forward into the darkness.

Penelope rolled out of bed; the book she was reading fell to the floor and knocked over the bowl of popcorn on the nightstand.

While cell phone alarms blared throughout her empty apartment. She scrambled to her feet. "What is going on?" She grumbled, annoyed at whomever decider to ruin her one and only night off. She grabbed the offending cell phone and her heart sank to her knees.

She silenced the noise and paused. Her fingers hovered over the messege. Three. Two. One. Before she could dial the number Sir Hotch lit up the screen. She answered the phone, launching into an explanation.

"Rossi's phone dialed 911 ten minutes ago. I set the alarm for all of us-"

He cut her off. "I know." Hotch said he was in full boss mode and halfway to Pennsylvania. "Find out why, and then explain to me why the whole team knows when one of us dials 911."

"Sir, I know it's against protocol-"

"Later, Garcia." His tone calmed her racing heart and brought her thoughts to the task at hand. "Find Rossi."

* * *

><p>Erin shut her kitchen window against the cool rain beating down on her house.<p>

It was the perfect night to curl up in bed with a chick-flick after a bubble bath. If the weather got worse she might have to chase Beau out from under the bed but that was the extent of her excitement while the kids were with Mark's parents for the weekend. Enjoying everything that their grandparents had to offer.

High speed internet, home-cooked four course meals and copious amounts of caffeinated coffee.

The doorbell rang throughout the quiet house, Erin adjusted her sweatpants and pulled the snug T-shirt over her belly. It was almost too tight but the loose bottoms balanced it out. She wasn't relenting to maternity pajamas just yet.

She walked down the steps and into the foyer. She pulled the door open and stepped back in surprise. "Agent Morgan?" She unlocked the screen door with numb fingers and allowed him inside and out of the rain.

"Ma'am, Hotch sent me to get you."

"Why?" Just his expression scared her, his stance was tense and his tone was deliberately gentle. "We have to get to the hospital."

"What's wrong with Aaron?" She asked, her mind immediately went back to the car accident. "I knew he came back to work too soon. A concussion is nothing to play with and I'm so glad he isn't flying. "

"It's not Hotch," Morgan cut her off.

"Oh."

"He's meeting us there."

She felt a chill go through her, from the top of her head down to her toes. Her back met with the wall, her mind was unwilling to process what Derek was going to tell her.

"It's Dave."

"No."

"Something's happened to Dave."

"How bad?" Her voice came out in a raspy whisper.

"I don't know," he answered in bitter honesty.

Her hand muffled the half-scream, half-sob that lodged in her throat. She felt Morgan's hand on her back as her legs fell from under her.


	28. Twenty-Seven

_Don't walk behind me; I may not lead. Don't walk in front of me; I may not follow. Just walk beside me and be my friend._

_-Albert Camus-_

* * *

><p>"What do you know?" Erin asked, skidding to a halt when she caught sight of Hotch outside the waiting room.<p>

"Nothing yet, I got here as soon as I heard."

"How long have you been here?"

"It took me an hour to get back, I was halfway to Pennsylvania when I heard."

"So, not long?" She asked wryly. Aaron didn't know anything, Morgan didn't say if he knew anything. Panic began to build in her chest, "where was Dave when he was found?"

"He was at the gym, with a personal trainer."

"Personal trainer?" Erin repeated in confusion. When did Dave hire a personal trainer and why didn't he tell her?

"When the hell did that happen?"

"I have no idea." Hotch said "I'm just glad he wasn't alone." shaking his head. He put his hand on her shoulder.

"Thank God." She didn't want to think about him being left alone. Nobody would have thought to look for him in the gym. Well they might have eventually, after following the trail of bacon bits and fried eggs. By then it would be too late. "Is that all you know?"

His gaze dropped to her stomach and his voice lowered. He gave her a little smile. "I know you're showing."

"What?" She gave him a blank look, "that's only because you know what to look for. Plus, the lighting's bad here." She argued, self-concisely pulling at her rain-soaked sweatshirt. It was a little loose, but not much.

At least it wasn't one of Dave's Marine's shirts. Thank God for small favors, that was hidden underneath.

Hotch glanced up and her gaze followed his as another clap of thunder rolled over the hospital. The florescent lights flickered and Hotch said, "You can't hide it forever and you know Rossi wants them to know."

"And I want to tell them, just not like this."

"if he were here he would say this was the perfect opportunity."

"That's below the belt and you know it." She said pointedly, 'if Dave were here' like he was going anywhere. He was just in the next room. Maybe he'd pulled a muscle in the gym? After all, he was pushing 60. But he was healthy overall, it couldn't be anything too serious. Could it?

"I think I'll hold off until Dave gets back." She bit her lip, "we'll have dinner like you said and I'll tell everyone."

"Look," Hotch fixed her with a look that was just barely below what he would give an unsub.

"You're about to be surrounded by profilers. They aren't stupid and I'm certain even Garcia sees what's going on between you and Dave."

"We've been careful," she argued, "how could they even suspect it?"

Hotch shrugged, "you left with Morgan to come here. You could have sat at home as the boss and waited on a phone call."

She let out a breath, knowing she was beat. "No I couldn't."

"Then accept it. Accept their hugs and answer their questions." He looked at her, and for a second she thought he could see straight through her. "And they will accept you."

"Okay." She relented, knowing he was right but she hated it all the same.

She didn't want to do this alone. Dave was supposed to be beside her, she wasn't supposed to be walking into a hospital waiting room; to tell a roomful of people that she barely knew that she, their boss, had successfully procreated with their friend.

She closed her eyes and took a breath before pushing the door open.

She was immediately almost bowled over by Penelope Garcia. "Ma'am, you came." Penelope squeezed her tight. "I knew you would. I knew he meant more to you than just a one night stand at a hotel."

Lucky for Erin, Hotch was right behind her to 'backstop' her from falling over from the force of Garcia.

"Easy Penelope," Hotch warned. She'll be here awhile."

"One night stand?" Taken aback Erin pulled back sharply. "What are you talking about?"

"Um..." Penelope swallowed, "that wasn't...supposed to come out." What was it about this woman that made her trip over her own tongue?

J.J. walked over shaking her head. "What she is trying to say, Chief Strauss, is that we're just glad you're here. You didn't let the fact that you were trying to keep your relationship to yourselves stop you from coming, when you realized we would be here."

Erin accepted J.J's light squeeze, careful not to club the other woman with her cast. She was surprised at how welcoming they were. Maybe Aaron was right she looked around. They were the only people in the room. Whether that was good or bad she didn't know but she didn't feel so alone.

"How did you know?" She asked, surprised that such a well kept secret had been so obvious.

"We saw you," Reid piped in. "The day of the Doctor Who convention."

"The hotel. " Erin said softly as realization dawned on her. "I see."

"Ma'am, the night of J.J.'s-"

"Please call me Erin." There wasn't a desk between them now and Dave needed all of them. She stole a glance at the clock on the wall. How long had they been here?

"Erin, " Reid corrected, "the night of J. J.'s wedding, it wasn't hard to miss. With the increase of pheromones and close contact of dancing, It's no surprise that people would start to pair off. Animals in the wild typically circle each other before mating." He rambled.

Morgan cut in, "that's enough, Pretty Boy." He gently admonished and pulled up a chair, "have a seat, we're going to be here awhile."

"Thanks." Sitting down Erin said, "how long have you been here?"

Their small group was circled around a table various purses and wet jackets surrounded the table legs. Erin sat between J.J. and Hotch.

"I can't tell," J.J. said. The alarm went off when I was putting Henry to bed. I called Reid, Hotch called Morgan."

"Morgan came to get me. Wait a second," Erin interjected, "what alarm?"

Penelope swallowed tightly, suddenly interested in the carpet the words tumbled from her lips.

"The one I programmed on all of our phones when one of us calls 911. I know it's against protocols I just wanted to protect us. I needed to know everyone was ok. After I got shot and with...Foyet. I needed to know. "

"Good." Erin nodded seriously, "I want in on that."

Penelope grinned and held out her hand, "consider it done."

"You should know that Dave wanted to tell you all before...this." Erin said, handing over her phone.

Penelope began tapping on the screen.

"David Rossi?"

Erin turned to face the man in a white coat.

"What happened, Doctor?"

The whole group seemed to stand as one.

"He had a mild heart attack. He's sedated right now."

Penelope jumped in, "can we see him?"

"We had to increase the sedative, he kept calling for someone named Erin."

Erin's heart picked up speed and she looked at Aaron.

"Well he's not calling for me." Hotch said.


	29. Chapter Twenty- Eight

_Walking with a friend in the dark is better than walking alone in the light._

_-Helen Keller-_

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><p>Erin followed the doctor down the hall as they neared the room her hands started to shake. Her footsteps echoed down the hall, it was a lonely, ominous sound.<p>

She'd never known someone who had a heart attack. Was there permanent damage? Had his brain been affected?

Thoughts of what Dave might look like and their future drifted through her mind.

The doctor pushed the door open and Erin stepped inside.

A friendly voice brought her out of her thoughts."I'm Doctor Anderson, your husband's Cardiologist and I'll be here all night."

"I'm Erin." There was no point in correcting the woman about their relationship status. In the end what you called it really didn't matter.

Their relationship was tenuous at best and the last thing Dave probably wanted to hear, was her voice.

"I figured." The doctor flashed a gentle smile. He's unconscious now. The sedative should wear off in a few hours, but it could take days."

"Days?" Erin's throat clogged, "what happened to him?" The doctor said he'd had a heart attack but that wasn't enough she needed the specifics. She needed to know every detail of Dave's time at the gym and what put him in that hospital bed.

The doctor nodded in a way that said she understood. She picked up the clipboard from the foot of the bed and read. According to the reports he has been lifting weights at the gym. The trainer said that Dave changed his diet in the last few months and he was improving his health."

"So why did this happen?"

"The extra strain from the exercise was weakening his heart and it was fighting to pump blood through his body, causing the attack. We sedated him to lessen the strain. The only problem is that he keeps fighting the oxygen."

Just then Dave's hand batted towards the mask covering his nose and mouth. The heart monitor sounded as his heart sped to an unhealthy rate.

"No no." Erin scolded gently. Her tone was meant to soothe but anxiety seeped in anyway. She caught his hand and her voice dropped, "you need that, David. Let it help you..." immediately his heart rate stabled and all attempts to remove the mask, ceased.

"Looks like you have the magic touch," Doctor Anderson said. "If you need anything I'm just down the hall."

"Thank you." Erin heard the door snap closed, she held Dave's hand, putting equal pressure on each finger.

What the hell was he doing in a gym? She stared at him, his naturally tan face was paler than normal. The muscles on his biceps seemed more defined than usual; she gave his arm an experimental poke and the flesh didn't give under the pressure. "What the hell are you doing Dave?" She hadn't felt a firm muscle in 10 years. Mark had let himself go after McKenzie was born.

"I need you around," A sudden chill passed through her. She hadn't realized how alone she really was until she was faced with a silent hospital room. She yanked the elastic out of her hair allowing the wet strands to fall on her shoulders. An unjustified anger filled her tone. "Why the hell would you mess around with your health now!"

She pulled the blanket over his shoulders, if she was cold he had to be.

She waited, searching for any sign that he was listening, but none came. Her voice cracked and she hated the vulnerability that leaked into her tone. "We need you around, Dave; you're not alone in the world now and it's time you realized that."

Two quick knocks brought her out of her thoughts, "They're throwing me out now." She kissed him on the forehead. The nurse stuck her head in and smiled a little too brightly for someone working in the ICU.

"You can come back in two hours but the hope is that he's moved to a regular room before then."

"I'll be in the waiting room." Erin grabbed her purse and walked out.

"Drink this." Hotch passed her a steaming styrofoam cup as she walked into the hallway.

"You scared me!" She admonished and took a sip. The smooth taste of hot chocolate filled her mouth.

"Sorry," he had the grace to look guilty. "How's Dave?"

"Did you know he was going to the gym?" She turned an accusing glare on Hotch, "Why was he working out so hard that he gave himself a heart attack?"

"I pressured him into going after the results of his last physical. We started going together until he asked me not to come anymore. I guess he started to enjoy it. At that point," Hotch took a breath, his gaze went past Erin towards the room where his best friend lay. "I think he wanted the body of a 40 year old but his heart was still pushing 60."

She wanted to cry, she wanted someone to take this burden away from her. Her mind started piecing together a life without Dave, she tried to shake it away but the thoughts invaded her head without her permission.

"Drink that." Hotch gestured to the cup in her hand, "It's freezing in here and you're soaked." She nodded, the silence surrounding them spoke volumes as they slowly walked towards the waiting room. He would look out for her. For his best friend's family until Dave could do it himself, but Erin would never know it and Aaron would never tell. She took a sip and a deal was struck.

He held the door as Erin entered the empty waiting room. "And then there were two…." She said softly, looking around at the endless rows of empty chairs.

"Don't worry." Hotch took a seat in the middle of the room he toed off his shoes and rested his socked feet on the edge of the table. The gesture surprised Erin. "They'll be back. J.J.'s in the cafeteria calling Will and getting coffee with Reid and Penelope took Morgan to get clothes for Dave."

Erin opened her mouth to respond but the door of the waiting room opened and J.J. entered with Reid on her heels looking like her very faithful puppy with stacks of coffee carriers in his hands and plastics sacks of delicious smelling food dangling from his wrist.

"The good news is, I think it stopped raining," J.J. said, holding the door for Reid. She grinned, "I told you to let me carry some of that." He sat the two trays on a nearby table and started unloading the food on another.

"And I might have let you but the coffee is organized by caffeine content." He rambled on and Erin watched the young genius intently as he assembled the food.

"From right to left is one Venti triple espresso for me, Hotch's Venti verona with two shots of espresso, Garcia's Two pump caramel macchiato with one extra shot of espresso, the Venti caramel mocha is Morgan's. Your Tall hazelnut creamer with two thirds black coffee, is on the bottom." He plucked a cup off of a tray like a magician wielding a magic wand. "Next to Erin's French vanilla decaf."

"Well thank you." She accepted the cup and smiled, "that was very impressive Doctor Reid."

He blushed at the compliment, "it's just coffee."

"How did you know how I take it?"

"Lucky guess. When Hotch was making your hot chocolate I knew you prefer decaf and French vanilla creamer because it doesn't contain nuts and I didn't know if you were allergic."

"Show off." J.J. teased.

"Someone please explain to me why this man doesn't have a girlfriend." Morgan said, giving his friend a slow clap.

"It's just coffee," Reid repeated in confusion.

"No." Morgan leaned over and pretended to be unpacking silverware. "It's not 'just coffee' Genius. You made her smile, Kid."

Reid chanced a look over his shoulder, Erin was helping Penelope unload the dozens of shopping bags she'd brought in.

He grinned, a sense of pride filled him, "yeah, I guess I did."

"Don't you all have lives outside of...this?" Erin finally asked as Penelope began passing around plates and forks and comforters to anyone in the room whom she thought looked cold or hungry regardless of whether or not she knew them as the room began to fill, distressed families trickled in and all were greeted by Garcia's exuberance.

"Not me," Hotch said, "Jack is with his grandparents all week."

"And Henry was chomping at the bit to get more one-on-one time with Will." J.J. cut in, Erin didn't miss how Hotch's shoulders seemed to sag as he gave an undetectable sigh of envy.

"You didn't think we'd let you sit here alone, did you?" Penelope asked, looking hurt at the thought.

"I hadn't considered any alternative," Erin answered honestly. "Why would you all stay here with me? Why would any of you do all of this... for me?" She was their boss and Public Enemy Number One for so long and suddenly they were helping her. She and Aaron had mended fences but the rest of them? Why?

"Because we care." Hotch, Reid, Penelope, Morgan and J.J. all spoke in unison.

"Now stop with the silly questions," Penelope patted her shoulder. "Come sit with us and eat something."

Erin nodded. Wedged between J.J. and Penelope for the first time that night, since she'd arrived at the hospital; she felt that maybe, just everything would be okay, eventually.


	30. Chapter Twenty-Nine

**Hi Darlings,**

**I just want to take a minute to say a humongous THANK YOU to everyone who brought The Power of Love to 100 reviews! Thank you all for your continued support through this story! I love you all!**

**Xx,Aleize**

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><p><em>We're born alone, we live alone, we die alone. Only through our love and friendship can we create the illusion for the moment that we're not alone.<em>

_-Orson Welles-_

* * *

><p>Erin paced through the waiting room. Her heart beat an anxious tattoo against her breastbone. "Are you okay?" Derek asked and she knew he meant it. "Not really."<p>

The anxiety in the room could be cut with a knife. Everyone was worried about Dave and the two hour delay between visitors wasn't helping.

She glanced at her watch and nodded, "I just don't like waiting. "

"I know, " J.J. sympathized. "He's going to be okay. "

"See," Penelope waved indicating the room around them. "This is something I never thought I would have to worry about. Bullets and bombs-"

"Are just part of the job description," Erin said dryly.

"That sounds like what Rossi would say." Penelope said softly.

"A heart attack never entered my mind," Erin admitted. "We've known each other over twenty years. I never thought I would see him like this. "

Aaron's words resounded in her mind, "he wanted the body of a 40 year old but his heart was pushing 60."

"He was doing this for me." The words passed through numb lips and her cheeks drained of color.

"Hey, talk to us." She heard Derek's command but she couldn't respond as she felt her chest constrict, robbing her of air and coherent thought. She felt Hotch's grip on her arm and someone pushed a chair underneath her.

"He'll be fine. " It was J.J.'s calm assurance that broke through her wall. "Take a breath."

"It's alright. Look at me."

Another wave of dizziness passed over her and Erin forced her eyes open.

J.J. was knelt in front of her. " You're having a panic attack."

"I know. " Erin responded, she shook her head slowly to clear it. "Sorry."

"Stress." J.J. said and smiled gently she squeezed Erin's hand. Something in her eyes said that she knew Erin's secret. "You're safe here." Penelope said from her spot at Erin's shoulder with her hand on her back.

"We need a distraction, I wonder if the gift shop is still open." Penelope said, eyes gleaming with mischief behind studded glasses. The plastic Visa called out to her from her wallet, the swipe of the card would bring an instant distraction and she would be a few reward miles closer to a vacation in Aruba.

"You haven't had enough fun in there?" J.J. asked flashing her a pointed look.

"Never. " Penelope said, unfazed.

"You can go, I'd like to stay close to Dave," Erin said.

"Same here." Hotch said and drained his coffee cup.

Morgan let out a deep yawn, "remember that time in Miami? "

"That sucked, " J.J. said, "it must have been at least 90 degrees in that hotel room."

"For you." Hotch deadpanned, "I was tossed outside on my ass."

"Whoa, back up a minute, " Penelope said, "who in their right mind would make their boss and our fearless leader, sleep outside? "

"Rossi. " Morgan said and grinned, "apparently Hotch snores like a bear."

J.J. jumped to his defense, "only when he's sick."

"It must have been bad if Dave could hear you over his own snoring. That man could wake the dead."

"Tell me about it, " Reid scoffed, "I could hear him through the walls."

"But I can't imagine him making you sleep outside, " Erin said. Shaking her head. "Especially if you were ill." She glared at the seat next to Hotch, "now, Morgan, he might. " She teased.

"Hey now." Morgan held up both hands in surrender, " don't give him any ideas! But I hope I'd get more than Hotch did."

Reid laughed until his gut hurt, "he left you with a handheld fan and a pillow!"

"I had sand in my shorts for a week," Hotch grouched.

Erin laughed, "why didn't I hear about this?"

"Snitch, " J.J. grumbled to Morgan and turned to Erin, "we were sworn to secrecy."

"You got him back pretty good, didn't you, Hotch?" Morgan asked.

All eyes landed on the boss. The stoic, serious leader wasn't capable of participating in an all out prank-war.

"What?" He asked in feigned innocence, "so what if I sent him an email from ex - wife number three pretending to have his son. "

"Asshole." Erin grumbled.

"Ow!" Hotch rubbed his stinging arm where she slapped him.

"Coming from an adoptive family, I don't think that's...at all funny," Penelope said, "Sir." The exchange between Erin and Hotch left her confused and more than a little dumbfounded. When did they get so close?

"Actually, it is." Reid said, in full Genius- Mode, "given Rossi's reputation for women and his three ex wives, it wouldn't be a shock if he did have a kid that he didn't know about. "

"We know, Reid, " Derek reminded him.

"Wait a minute, " J.J. cut in, turning an accusing look on Morgan. "How do you know about this and we don't?"

"He was waiting for me," Garcia gushed squeezing Derek's bicep. "Everyone else had gone home."

"Alright," Erin turned a hard glare on Hotch. "Give it up."

" I sent an email. " He confessed, "one email." He clarified, lest she get the wrong idea. From a similar address-"

"Oh sneaky." Penelope rubbed her hands together gleefully.

"This isn't funny, " Erin said.

"But I didn't want him getting tangled up with her again so I left my cell phone number at the bottom. When he called and I didn't pick up, he called the woman directly. "

"And?" J.J. asked, perched on the edge of her seat, "how did he find out it was you?"

Hotch shrugged, leaned back in his seat and propped his feet up on the table. Drawing out the suspense; a self satisfied look creeping onto his face. "It turns out, she had two daughters, four years after the divorce and no son named Aaron. "

" Damn. " J.J. whistled lowly, "that's not a prank, that's a death wish. "

" I'd never seen you run so fast, Hotch." Morgan said, he was the only one in the room who cracked a smile. "But right now, Erin looks like she could kill you, so..."

Reid picked up where Morgan trailed off, "start running. "

Before anyone could respond, a nurse entered the room and the whole room tensed, "David Rossi?"

"Right here." Hotch and Morgan stood and moved to Erin's side with J.J. and Penelope bringing up the rear.

"He's being moved to a regular room. He is still unconscious but his prognosis is very good."

"Oh thank God." Erin let out a breath she didn't know she'd been holding.

"Can we see him?" Hotch asked.

"Of course. Two at a time until he wakes up. Follow me. "

"Erin first. " Penelope said softly, urging her forward.

J.J. nodded, Erin bolted after the nurse and out of earshot. J.J.'s eyes met his she snagged his wrist as he turned to join them in the waiting room.

"Hotch, please go with her."

Erin bent over Dave's bed and kissed his cheek. He needed a shave, she ran her hand through his hair, still thick and only graying at the temples despite his age. "Please wake up. " She begged, allowing his scent to encapsulate her; "we need to talk."


	31. Chapter Thirty

_When a good man is hurt, all who would be called good must suffer with him._

_-Euripides-_

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><p>"I need you to wake up and come home to me." Erin said, hating the way her voice cracked with wayward emotion; she wanted to blame it on the hormones coursing through her veins but the truth was she was absolutely in love with the comatose man in front of her. The way things stood, he may never know it.<p>

An odd feeling came over her as she sat at Dave's bed side, far off memories invaded her head. Time seemed to crawl to a halt in the hospital, she watched his face for a moment the movement under his eyelids told her he was in the deep stages of sleep. She gripped his hand and entangled their fingers. "I remember the first time you held my hand. That was a big step for me." A slight chuckle bounced past her lips, "you know I didn't do relationships." She avoided love and it was common joke that she was just like him. Until he met Carolyn and got married.

She was at his first wedding, the whole department had been invited but she was the one of the few who came aside from Jason Gideon and it was the first time she met Mark Strauss.

"How ironic." She snorted, considering their situation. Carolyn's death and her divorce from Mark; in a way; the beginning of their separate lives had brought them together again.

"I always thought that it was your divorce that made you chase after me." Her hand covered her belly protectively. "But that's not true. "

Whether their children could hear her or not, she wanted to shield them from any possible cosmic jinx that claimed James.

"You needed me, when James died and Carolyn left, you needed me and I came, David. I put my life on hold for you and now," her voice broke again, "and now I need you." She said.

Once upon a time she would have sooner turned herself inside out than admit that she needed anyone.

Her pride would have found a way to keep the words from spilling out. "Your children need you. The doctor says you'll make it, don't make me sue him for lying to me, " she said, only half in jest.

He was on the rebound on their first date. He'd already had and lost Carolyn after James' death, she just sat next to him as he drank his sorrows away. If he had asked her out she would have turned him down.

She didn't date at all, she drank beer at the bar and waited for the men to come to her. Reeling them in like fish in a net only to cast them off at the last minute. But not Dave.

" All of a sudden you put your drink down and pulled me on the dance floor. The jukebox was broken, we were stuck listening to Bon Jovi all night.

We'd dropped at least fifty dollars in quarters into that thing trying to fix it."

She let her monologue trail off. The awkward feeling of talking to a wall, returned. Maybe it never really left but she talked anyway.

"And when the bartender announced last call, I was just about to leave; you grabbed my hand.

We got a cab and we rode around town until the sun came up." A sigh escaped broke through the otherwise quiet room. Things were so good between them back then. Before sex and kids and spouses.

"We skipped work, well you skipped work." She corrected, " and I ditched three of my afternoon classes."

Where had the time gone? The years between them seemed like only minutes now. Just snapshots of their lives, intersecting at the key moments.

"Don't you dare give up on us now."

She entangled their hands again, waiting for a sign that he'd been listening. When she found none, she sat back in the recliner and waited. For what, she didn't know; for the drugs to wear off? She would wait forever, in that plastic covered chair and rain soaked clothes, if it meant she could see his eyes open again.

And he would wait, in that gray medicinal haze of the sedative, listening to her velvet voice reminisce and feel her warm hand against his. He would come back to them he would claw his way back from the shadows of whatever drugs they had him on, and come home.

He was working on it as she spoke.

His lips parted, and he prayed she could hear him. She needed to hear him, no matter how much his voice shook or rasped.

"I love you, Erin."


	32. Chapter Thirty-One

The greatest happiness of life is the conviction that we are loved; loved for ourselves, or rather, loved in spite of ourselves.

— Victor Hugo-

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><p>Erin's attention turned towards the hospital bed as Dave's hand pulled weakly on hers, while the other tried to swat the oxygen mask away. "You're alright, David," she ordered authoritatively. "Calm down." She reached down and brushed the hair from his face.<p>

Comforted by her voice, he turned his cheek into her palm, relishing in the warmth of the familiar touch. She ran her fingers through his hair and hit the call button, summoning a voice from the nurse's station.

"Can I help you?"

"He's responding to my voice."

"A nurse will be with you shortly," the voice delivered crisply.

A minute later a nurse appeared with a chart in her hands. With quick precision, she began her assessment by checking vital signs and the EEG report. Pulling out a small light, she opened one of Dave's eyelids and shone the light toward his pupil.

"Mr. Rossi," the nurse called out, "can you hear me?" Dave's chin lifted to confirm the request. "Good. Do you know where you are?" He grasped for the oxygen mask in an attempt to remove it. "Can you open your eyes?"

Dave tried but gave up. They were too heavy, all he could see was darkness. He could feel what little strength he had begin to fade. His head lolled to one side, all he wanted to do was sleep. He made a noise in his throat that was muffled by the oxygen mask.

Erin leaned in close to make out the sound. "What did you say?" she asked as she held tight to Dave's hand. Both women tuned their ears to nothing but Dave.

"Hospital?" he repeated to be heard.

"That's right, " the nurse said with a proud smile. "You're going to be okay. The drugs are slowly wearing off and you'll be able to open your eyes. So just rest now while you can."

"Thanks," Erin said. Despite being tough as nails, she felt overwhelmed by the moment.

"We'll be back in an hour to check on him. Just keep him calm," the nurse instructed as she quickly jotted down the notes on the patient sheet. Snapping the clipboard shut, she smiled at Erin, then turned on her heel to depart the small room.

Hearing the door close soundly, Erin blindly felt for the chair behind her. Her knees were suddenly the consistency of jello, and she was afraid of falling down. Settled in, she held fast to Dave's hand.

"Did you hear that, you arrogant bastard?" she asked thickly. Her eyes were blinded by tears, but she didn't need to see to press a kiss to the back of Dave's cold hand. "You're going to live. But don't think there isn't going to be hell to pay for this stunt. We're going to talk when you get better," and that was a promise.

She awoke with a start, her heart slammed in her chest as panic overwhelmed her senses. For an all too brief moment she forgot where she was and why. One look towards Dave's bed and her memory came back. Someone has covered her with a blanket, a quilt that didn't come from the hospital. Cracking her neck, how could something that look so soft be so rough to sleep on? She wondered. Taking in her surroundings she noticed a paper bag next to the recliner she was seated in and her curiosity peaked. She reached inside and her fingers wrapped around a piece of paper and she pulled it out. Unfolding it She read the unfamiliar handwriting,  
>Dear Boss Lady,<br>Low key isn't my style but I found this at Rossi's when we were getting his clothes and I thought you might need it back. His things are in another bag by the nightstand. We're all here for you when you're ready to let us in.  
>-Penelope P.S. You're phone is charging next to you.<br>P.P.S. I threw in a few extras.

Erin chuckled slightly at the greeting and sat the note on the table next to her phone. She went back to inspecting the contents of the bag, a small make-up case with a tube of light pink lipstick, mascara, a toothbrush and a travel size tube of Colgate sat on top with a hairbrush. Pulling it out she noticed a familiar pink dress and smiled as she studied the fabric; memories of her and Dave's first real date came rushing back.

When the waitress had accidentally sloshed Merlot all over her and he promised to get the stains out; she wore his button down shirt and a shrunken pair of jeans home that day and forgot all about the dress. Setting it on her lap she caught sight of another note wrapped in the hem; in Penelope's scrawl. Extras. Thought you might like to dress up before your Prince Charming wakes up.  
>Intrigued Erin reached in again into her own personal Barney Bag that seemed to be filled to the brim. Her fingers skidded across the paper bottom and came up with a soft pink colored ballet flat that matched the dress.<br>She cast another look at Dave, he was sleeping soundly, the steady rise and fall of his chest was a lasting comfort and she pressed a kiss to his forehead. "You have great friends." A muffled sound groaned low in his throat but it was stronger than before. Erin's heart squeezed in her chest and she fought to hear him. "What is it, Dave?"  
>"So do you," he rasped against the mask and his hand twitched toward hers. His eyes opened just enough to give him a look at her face. "I knew they'd come. I knew they'd take care of you."<p>

"I'm going to call the nurse now." She said her voice shook slightly at the thought of anyone besides Dave 'taking care of her.' Trying to bring him comfort, she gave his hand a squeeze.  
>"Not-not just yet." He said as his strength began to fade. "I have something to say."<br>"It can wait," she argued and reached for the call light. They needed to talk but he needed to heal before they could discuss anything. She needed him to heal. Between her car accident and now, Dave's heart attack she wasn't about to put more strain on them to assuage her own guilt. It would wait.  
>"I love you, Erin."<br>The statement, delivered in one short breath, shook her to her core. Her hand went to his hair, " Don't talk like you're dying-" She said harshly and her voice shook. "That sounds like famous last words."

"I need you to marry me."  
>"Now I know you need the nurse." She hit the call light and spoke into the intercom, "he's awake and delusional."<br>She didn't miss the grin that spread over his face. "I'm delusional, but you didn't say no." 

* * *

><p>The 2015 Profiler's Choice Awards are on! Join us in the annual Profiler's Choice CM Awards; help us choose the best of the best Criminal Minds fanfiction and let your voice be heard. Check out the nomination ballot and rules at the Profilers Choice Awards 2015 Forum. All rules and information can be found there. Nominations begin November 14, 2015 and end December 31, 2015 (please note: ballots received before November 14 will not be counted. Thank you). All entries with ten (10) or more categories filled out are eligible to win an Amazon gift card!<p> 


	33. Chapter Thirty-Two

Love can change a person the way a parent can change a baby- awkwardly, and often with a great deal of mess.

―Lemony Snicket-

* * *

><p>Caught between letting him deal with the nurse alone, and relief that even straight from a medicinal coma he could still rattle her, Erin said, "Could we talk about this later?"<p>

"I can't make you love me, can I?" he rasped.

"David…."

"You can't even say it back."

Erin tried to think of something to say - any little response to placate him - but she couldn't think of any. But his eyelids were beginning to droop, and with any luck he would be asleep in the next minute.

"It has to be the drugs talking," she comforted herself.

"Just take my credit card and get out of here," he ordered. "There's no reason for you to be here."

Blinking quickly, Erin stood up. It would serve no purpose - good or bad - to get into an argument with him, she reasoned. In fact, it might get her banned from the hospital altogether. "Just get some rest. I need to get off my feet and go feed the dog. I wanted to make sure you were okay."

"Go on, get out of here and don't come back." He waved dismissively., "Go feed the dog, go feed yourself. I don't care what you do," he said, in a tone cold as ice. His eyes roved over her in a look that said he despised her.

Swallowing the lump that gathered in her throat, Erin nodded she closed her eyes and willed her emotions under control. Please let it be the drugs talking, she prayed, please don't let him mean it.

"Okay," she conceded, "I'll go."

"Do whatever you fucking want," Dave replied despondently. The lack of care and emotion in his tone cut more deeply across Erin's heart than if he had he yelled at her.

"Don't ask me to come back."

"Don't worry, I won't," he fired back.

The door closed behind her with an echo, Erin leaned against the wall suddenly robbed of breath. She wanted to leave, to run away - far away from David Rossi and the pain he kept inflicting.

"Is everything ok?"

The hallway wasn't as deserted as she thought. "He's awake," she said tightly. "And bitchy." She straightened and looked at J.J. "I don't like this," she admitted softly. "He's not himself."

"Come on," J.J. offered, giving a smile. "Let's take a walk, somewhere far, far away from the cardiac unit. You look like you could use a break and I'm starving."

"Agreed." Erin said, offering a slight grin. It felt good to not be alone, unfortunately, she would never admit that out loud. "Dammit!" She swore, looking down. "I left my purse and I am not going back in there."

J.J. smiled mysteriously. "Watch this."

"Hey, Hotch," she said in total seriousness, " Dave's awake, but he's in an awful mood."

"That's to be expected," Hotch said while relief flooded his veins. "Do you mind if I see him?"

"Please do," Erin said with veiled sarcasm. Deep down inside she envied the bond the two men shared. It was almost perversely erotic how close two men could be without being intimate. And Erin was jealous of them. She wanted what they had. Maybe if she did, she wouldn't be standing in the hallway of a CCU with the BAU liaison.

"And um.."

Flicking a hand in Erin's direction, J.J. said, "Just grab her purse on the way out."

"Sure." Hotch knocked twice on the door and let himself in. "How's it going, Dave?" he greeted.

Spying Erin's purse in the chair, on top of the bag Penelope brought he grabbed it and stuck his hand out the door.

"Like hell," Erin heard Dave retort. A minute later, Hotch arrived with the prized purse in his hands.

"Here you go, Chief."

"Should I be worried?" she asked, mildly impressed. With more force than necessary, she snatched the paper bag from Hotch's outstretched hand. She gave J.J. a pointed look. "You have him wrapped around your little finger," she accused with a thinly veiled sneer.

The cool blonde profiler shook her head and took it in stride. "I don't know what you're talking about, Chief Strauss. I'm happily married, and in the interest of full disclosure, you're Dave's boss, and from my estimate, you're at least three months pregnant," she replied with a smile that dared Erin to deny it.

Oh crap! Recovering quickly, Erin replied, "I'd rather not talk about this here."

"Come get a cup of coffee with me,"J.J. offered the olive branch.

Erin gave JJ a wary look. "What's the catch?" she returned, as the moved down the hallway.

"Just a little honesty." J.J. said slowly. "It's only fair. You were at my wedding for Christ sake, and we're practically strangers."

Erin nodded as they paused in front of a bank of elevators. "That is true," she agreed, and pressed the button.

"What do you want to know?"

They boarded the elevator, and J.J. waited for the doors to slide closed. "What's going on between you and Rossi? You don't have to be here as his boss. Obviously, something happened between you two, and Penelope has her suspicions, but I'm curious."

"You have to understand something," Erin said slowly, "I put the fraternization protocols in place years ago. I fought like hell for those rules. I was trying to protect young, stupid recruits who would surely get wrapped up in the lure of seasoned F.B.I agents." She didn't owe J.J. anymore than that as an explanation, she thought bitterly.

"So you broke your own rules." J.J. said with a neutral tone that didn't condemn the chief, but it didn't condone her, either. The silence stretched painfully as the steel box they stood in began to drift upward.

Erin shook her head at the judgement. Gripping the steel bar that wrapped along the wall. "Dave loves his job and I don't think he could function without the thrill of the hunt. I'll be filing for a transfer So he can keep it."

"Do you love him?"

Four words,that's all it took and Erin felt like an unsub in an interrogation room. She gripped the steel bar tightly and said, "He said it, but I couldn't say it back."

"I see." And JJ did. Everything was perfectly clear.

Turning sharply towards the other woman. "You all think I don't know that I'm Public Enemy Number One, but I know and understand; because I put my job, my status before everything. The F.B.I politics dictated my decisions and I don't regret it because it made me good at my job. Those decisions supported my family - admittedly at the expense of my social calendar."

"I've been there" J.J. said, and added quickly before Erin could continue, "sometimes, we have to make that unpopular choice. It's not always right, and it doesn't always win us any favors."

A heavy silence settled between the women. Just as the elevator began to slow, J.J. was the first to speak. "Will didn't want me to come back to The BAU, but after the last mission, I couldn't make myself do anything else."

Erin nodded in understanding. "You didn't need the job; after everything we went through. You needed the people in the unit."

The elevator doors slid open. J.J. stepped out and led them towards the cafeteria. "We don't have it out for you. And although people will have questions that's to be expected. But rest assured that as a group, I'd say you're safe."


	34. Chapter Thirty-Three

Dave was slowly losing his mind, mindlessly staring at his 60 inch flat-screen with the remote balancing in his hand as he flipped between the US Open on ESPN and Dateline. He'd almost pegged the unsub before the host cut to a commercial. He flipped back to Serena as she volleyed the serve from her sister. He used to use the cable network as a replacement for Cinemax After Midnight, but according to the doctors he wouldn't be getting lucky anytime soon.

No scotch, no smoking and no steak. If you wanted to get technical he wasn't allowed a morsel of red meat of any kind. In short, a life without sex, fine liquor and exotic cigars wasn't a life he was sure he wanted to live.

Holed up in the lower half of his home because God knows he couldn't climb the stairs. Well, he probably could he just didn't want to.

This wasn't living - just like profiling Dateline on TV wasn't catching serial killers.

He couldn't survive like this. Rage embroiled him and he threw the remote across the room. Sending it against the wall behind the TV.

"Shut up, Mudgie!" he bellowed as the dog yapped intermittently between howls at his master's outburst.

Dave moved slowly into the kitchen, opening the cabinets he forged. Searching desperately for something that would dull the hunger whether it was real or imagined. A bag of Veggie-Straws met his hand and he shoved it into the deep recesses of the cupboard. Where the hell did his potato chips go?

That afternoon, Penelope busted in his living room like a colorful whirlwind. Loaded with an armful of groceries and a dog leash, she took charge. With barely a look in his direction, she'd unpacked the food, then walked Mudgie before disappearing in a flash of color after a quick hug and declaration that she "just couldn't talk to him, but she was happy he was okay." It was odd to say the least.

What was even more confusing, were the things she purchased: all vegan, all green, and all of it would make it in the trash at some point. Although the bag of trail mix didn't look disgusting. He ripped it open and munched. If he was being honest with himself, he was bored and a little lonely. He should have invited Penelope to stay.

He plucked his cell phone off the coffee table weighing his options. He could call Erin, but according to Hotch, he would be lucky if she so much as looked him in the eye in the next lifetime. On impulse, he dialed Hotch.

"I know we didn't catch a case," Hotch grumbled. The team was on stand-down. Between Hotch's healing ear drums and Dave's heart attack, it would be a minor miracle if the whole team was ever allowed back in the field.

"Look, I...Aaron," Dave couldn't stop himself from tripping over his words, "I know it's late, but I gotta know."

"Do you know what time it is?" Hotch growled and glanced at the alarm clock beside his bed.

Dave pulled his phone back on reflex and glanced at the screen. 2 am. Awesome, he thought bitterly. He was reverse cycling from his two weeks in the hospital. "I'll cut to the point."

"What do you need?" Hotch asked in a clipped tone.

"Was Erin...was she there at all?" He couldn't stomp the fear from his tone, and deep down inside he was afraid of the answer.

"She was," Aaron confirmed with a nod, although his friend couldn't see it. "She was there the first night."

"And why is Garcia upset?"

Aaron shrugged in the darkness before replying, "She doesn't like secrets."

"Did I do something?" A genuine confusion swept over him. Garcia was upset and Erin was mad at him for some reason, but for the life of him he couldn't connect the dots.

"Dave," Aaron hedged, feeling pity for him. He wanted to bring comfort but he wasn't sure if early in the morning was the best time. "She knew it was the drugs talking," he told his mentor; "but I can't say I blame her."

"So? What did I say?" Dave couldn't wrap his head around what he heard. When he thought of his time in the hospital the only thing he could remember was when the sedation ended completely and he woke up in a cold, empty room.

Alone.

"Basically?" Hotch broke him out of his thoughts.

"Don't mince words."

"You told her to fuck off and get out."

"Great," he said hollowly. He scrubbed one hand over his face. "I'm the ass-hole now."

"No," Hotch said gently, "she knew better, but she stayed away because she thought it would be better for you. She checked up on you every day. Now stop feeling sorry for yourself, light a few candles and thank God that you still have your job."

Dave nodded, scratching Mudgie's head absently. "Thanks Hotch."

"Any time. Get some sleep. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Okay…." Dave's brows knitted in frustration. He couldn't drive. He could barely get out of bed without wanting to fall back in it.

"Did you forget about your rehab appointment?"

Dave heard the smile in his voice, "Yeah, I did."

* * *

><p>"She separated us," Penelope growled low in her throat and tossed another chew toy into the bag she was putting together for Mudgie. "The more I think about it, Derek, the more it bothers me. Strauss took J.J. away and made us all think Emily was dead. How could he still like her?"<p>

They were in the living room of her colorful apartment after she walked Mudgie earlier. She noticed how few toys the poor pooch had. He seemed so bored, moping around the house with his master, and Penelope knew that when the eighty pound chocolate Lab was overly bored, trouble awaited.

"Baby Girl, purple with rage is not a good color on you," Derek tried to soothe with humour, "

"My color wheel is the least of my worries, Chocolate Thunder." She bit her lip, holding back her thoughts.

"What's on your mind?" he asked softly. Setting his tool belt on the carpet, he tested her new bedroom door. A sliding silver screen with mirrors on both sides; he slid it back and forth and took pride as it glided smoothly on the tracks.

"I just don't get it, Derek. Strauss broke the rules and what if it had been one of us?" Her chin jutted stubbornly.

"Huh?"

"You will never convince me that she wouldn't throw us out of the unit so fast your head would spin!" Penelope raged. "I just can't stand a hypocrite! Why isn't she with Rossi now? Do you know how much food he had Derek? Real food that wasn't going to clog his arteries? I'll tell you how much: None!"

"Yeah." Derek pulled her to her feet and wrapped her in a hug. "But he's not starving now, is he?"

"No. But that was her job and her responsibility to take care of it and she didn't," Penelope groused, but she was feeling slightly calm.

"I know, but there's not much we can do. It's his life, Baby Girl."

A few beats of silence passed and Penelope tried to find serenity in the feeling of Derek's heart beating against hers'.

"Penelope?" Derek questioned. He pulled back slowly as the question he wanted to ask fully formed in his head. His hands were wrapped around her shoulders. "You were really nice to Strauss. Super nice."

"So what? I'm nice to stray animals and serial killers, too," she replied glibly. "What's your point?"

"That you're not fake, Baby Girl," he said complimented.

She giggled and said, "Just my hair color, eyelashes, nails and skin tone...sometimes."

"Exactly." He nodded once, "so what changed? Are there personal feelings here?" His eyes pinned her to the spot, not to mention his hands that held her shoulders in a gentle grasp. Her gaze scanned the floor, the cream colored carpet had her full attention.

"How can he trust her? I mean, after everything she's done to our team, our family….I just don't understand."

"Well, I hope it's the same way I trust you." He pulled her back into a hug and whispered, "Ms. World Hacker Bad-ass Extraordinaire."

She giggled. "I guess it does make perfect sense that the ex-criminal would reject the boss."

* * *

><p>"Have you heard from Agent Hotchner?" Erin asked. Clutching her cell phone against her ear. Another look at the ticking clock and the time it took the other woman to respond told Erin all she needed to know.<p>

"They made it to his appointment. Hotch says Dave's doing really well," J.J. confirmed gently, equal parts happy and relieved to be able to bring good news.

Erin leaned back, the rustling of the thin paper underneath her echoed in the empty room. This wasn't Mary's regular office. Her doctor was running shifts at the perinatal center and insisted Erin meet with her for her routine exam.

"That's great news," she said softly. True gratitude rushed through her, as she thanked whoever for letting Dave live and for his friend, J.J., who seemed to understand their awkward situation. "Thank you for keeping me in the loop."

"It's no problem, Chief."

"This feels like passing notes in high-school," Erin admitted. "I just…" she let the sentence trail off.

"You don't know what to say," J.J. supplied basing from her own experiences dealing with awkward moments.

Erin chuckled, "not a word." She rolled her eyes at her own stupidity. "I know he didn't mean it, for all I know he wasn't talking to me at all; but the look in his eyes, I swear to God I can't forget it."

"Can you forgive it?"

"I could."

"I have to make a pit-stop." Hotch pulled his rental car into the parking lot of the perinatal center. It was in the same complex as the cardiac unit. "Jessica got a job."

"Good for her," Dave praised without real feeling. All he wanted to do was fall back into bed.

"She's a receptionist, and shift change is in 20 minutes." Hotch opened his door and stepped out. When Dave didn't move, Hotch shot him a pointed look. "You're coming too."

"Just give me a minute, I don't have time for this," Dave grumbled under his breath.

.

"You do," Hotch countered and unfolded his umbrella. "I'm not letting you go home and sulk."

"Who says I'm sulking?"

Hotch pinned him with a glare. "I know you. You're too busy feeling guilty because you acted like a dick. You're at home, alone, looking for anything to drown your sorrows in, but you're out of scotch and smokes, so you've resorted to junk food and bad TV. Now snap out of it and move your ass!" he ordered in an authoritative tone that left no room for argument.

Then he took off in a sprint, giving his lazy, overweight, heartbroken buddy no choice but to follow him across the parking lot, or get soaked.

Sleet pelted the cars, and rolled down their backs. Thunder rolled across the steely sky. Cardiac rehab was kicking his ass, but the good news was he could finally take a flight of stairs without crippling exhaustion.

"It's water weight, prick!" Dave fired back angrily at not being given the chance to defend himself.

"Change your diet, change your life," Hotch deadpanned and closed his umbrella.

"What the hell, Hotch? Isn't there some moral code against showing off your sister in a cute uniform?" Dave grouched. Sweat broke along the nape of his neck as his poor heart, which he was sure had been overworked, pounded in his chest.

"So, you admit she's cute?" Hotch couldn't resist needling him.

"Shut up," Dave grouched.

Hotch grinned, a rate boyish grin lit his features. "Oh. I'm so gonna tell her!"

"Shut up, stupid; I'm taken," Dave countered as they ambled up to Jessica's station.

Hotch dropped his cheeky grin and said, "Yeah, I know."

"Hey, Aaron. What's up, Dave?"

Something in her voice set him on edge. Dave smiled slightly. Feeling trapped, he turned on Hotch. "What's going on?"

Jessica passed Hotch a slip of paper. "Just do what you're told," she said sweetly.

"What's she talking about?" Dave asked as Hotch steered him down the hallway. Passed rows of closed door exam rooms.

"Just come on."

Coming to the end of the hall they paused at the last door and Hotch knocked twice. Hotch turned the handle and shoved his friend between the shoulders, forcing him forward.

Dave's heart stalled in his chest. "Hi Erin."

_For he who has health has hope; and he who has hope, has everything.  
>_Unknown_<em>


	35. Chapter Thirty-four

_"If you love me don't be afraid to look into my eyes and open up the gate; just like them horses when it's time to run"_  
><em>-Reba McEntire-<em>

* * *

><p>Her phone dropped from her hand and clattered to the floor; and her head snapped up at the sound of her name. All encompassing shock spread from the top of her head down to her toes. Her heart stalled for a half second as her eyes collided with his. "Oh...David!"<p>

She slid off the exam table and buried her face in the crook of his neck. He buried his nose in her hair, an overwhelming sense of peace came over him. His arms circled her tightly. "I should have called," he mumbled, "I shouldn't have stayed away so long."

"I thought you-my God I don't know what I thought." Her words were muffled against his shoulder. She wasn't ready to let him go. With his hand running up and down her bare back she could have fallen asleep right there in the exam room.

"I hope you're not mad, I didn't mean to ambush you."

" Oh, shut up, I'll be mad later." She kissed his cheek and held him closer."How did you get here?" She pulled away just enough to look into his eyes.

"Hotch. Apparently I'm a dick and he thought I needed this."

"Well, was he right?"

Dave grinned and tilted her chin upwards until she was staring in his eyes. "He's always right," he replied, then he captured her mouth with his in a tender kiss.

A quick rap on the door brought them back to reality. The pair were still holding each other when the doctor walked in.

Dr Welby's short stature was hidden behind an ultrasound machine, only the top of her dark curly hair was visible. "What do we have here?" she grinned.

The woman always reminded Erin of a cherub. Her round face was always smiling but behind her sweet, kind nature; the good doctor had claws and she knew how to use them. Little did they know, said claws were poised and ready to sink into them.

"I missed her," Dave said without shame. "What's going on here?" he threw a cautionary look at the machine.

"It's just routine to measure the babies growth. Up you go, Erin," the doctor ordered.

"Do me a favor and turn away," Erin said as she climbed up on the exam table for a second time.

"I'll stay up here," Dave said and moved to stand at her head. His hand found hers and he intertwined their fingers.

"How are you feeling?" Dr. Welby asked, "any pain? Headaches?" She strapped the blood pressure cuff around her arm and then jotted down the results.

Not really," she shrugged.

"Not really or you just don't want to say?" She threw Dave a pointed, no-nonsense look. "We can send him out if it would help you speak freely."

She grabbed his wrist when he would have pulled away. He wasn't leaving even if he wanted to. Not when she just got him back; but she didn't want him to worry either.

"Just be honest, Sweetheart." With the patience of a sainted monk he said, "we can't help if we don't know."

"Nothing tastes good and most of it comes back up."

"Nothing?" Dave asked, barely concealing his worry and surprise.  
>Erin just shook her head. "I should have let you leave the room."<p>

Dr. Welby nodded before Dave could respond. "I'll write you a short-term prescription until you get your appetite back." She addressed Dave; "Now, this is the part where you're suppose to turn around."

The doctor pulled on a sterile pair of gloves and Erin put her feet in the stirrups. She focused on Dave and only him. His hand in her hair, and the way his thumb grazed the underside of her wrist.

"I missed you," she said softly, completely ignoring the doctor and whatever she was doing between her legs.

"I know, I'm sorry." He meant it, he always meant it. "Can we talk after this?"

"We can talk now," she offered.

He grinned, "I mean, we could but this," he pinched the sleeve of her hospital gown. "Is a little distracting."

"Hello love-birds!" Dr Welby called, snapping their attention away from each other. "For a minute I thought I'd lost you both," she teased.

"Sorry, It's just been awhile," Dave apologized.

"I heard," she nodded towards Erin, "how's the ticker?" professional concern colored her tone.  
>"Mending. Stairs aren't the enemy anymore."<p>

"Good. Now let's take a look at the babies so you two can get back to giving goo-goo eyes like school-kids with your first crush."

Erin cackled, "we are not that bad," she argued.

"Well I know I am," Dave boasted and helped Erin pull her gown up to expose the swell of her abdomen.

The doctor brought the conductive gel and Erin shivered against the sudden chill on her skin.  
>"Here we are," Dr. Welby said as she gently pressed the probe into the gel.<p>

Erin craned to look at the monitor, "How are they?" her voice choked with sudden fear. God help her, but she couldn't take anymore bad news. She knew she would break if something was wrong with their children and neither she or Dave would survive the fallout.

"Erin? Erin did you hear me?" His fingers bit into her shoulder, bringing her back to reality. She chanced a look at Dave, searching for any trace of agony that she was sure he would show if there was anything less than two perfect children growing in her womb.

"I'm sorry," she shook her head to chase away those terrible thoughts. "I wasn't listening."

He broke into a smile, "They're perfect!" he exclaimed and gently kissed her forehead.

"Are they?" She looked at Mary for confirmation.

"Absolutely, but there are some things we need to discuss," Mary passed Erin a tissue to wipe the gel off and Dave helped her sit up. Mary had her full attention.

"What's that?"

Mary grabbed Erin's chart and made a note. "Well, your blood pressure is higher than before, It's not overly high but it's not healthy either. Given your circumstances, It's expected but you need to keep your stress levels down."

Erin felt Dave tense beside her. Had he caused this?

"I'm going to be very honest with both of you: Taking absolutely everything that's happened so far into account, it's still a high risk pregnancy; none of you are completely out of the woods yet."

Erin nodded and let Dave take control. "How can we fix this?"

"My professional opinion is that the two of you," she said, eyeing the couple, "would be safer chained to a bed until delivery. Erin needs to stay out of moving cars and you -" She looked at Dave, "-you need to cancel your gym membership; But we all know that's not going to happen. So just relax, spend more time with your feet up, and if something tastes good, eat it."

She handed Erin a prescription, "I'll see you in two-weeks."

Then the door closed soundly behind the doctor. Was it an ominous sound? "Well that was simple enough," Dave said quietly.

"I guess," Erin said, her voice level matching Dave's.

"Hey," Dave crouched down to meet her eyes, "don't shut me out," he begged. "Things were going so well. What's wrong?"

"Nothing." She flashed him a counterfeit smile. "I'm glad you're here."

"You don't seem glad, Sweetheart; you were, but you aren't now."

"I'm not," she admitted softly. She couldn't tell him-not a word that would shatter his perfect world-after cheating death. From the very beginning all he wanted was for her to stop fighting him. It was time to give him that. She took a deep breath and exhaled slowly.

"You were unconscious," she said slowly and unsure.

When did she become so shy? His brows knitted in concern and he took one of her cool hands in his. When had this strong, power-house of a woman become so insecure?

"I know, I said some things-some hateful things that would never have entered my mind much less left my mouth if it wasn't for the drugs. Erin, I need you to believe that."

"I know." She nodded and reached out to touch his chest; just above his heart. She needed to know that it wasn't going to give out and take him from her. The beat under her fingers never ceased, "I'm just not ready for this, Dave."

"Ready for what? Us?" He didn't want to hear it. He wanted her to lie and say she was going to stay forever; he refused to accept anything else.

"All of it." One hand came to rest across her abdomen where their children grew and her voice clogged with repressed emotions. Guilty tears threatened to spill down her cheeks and she struggled to blink them away.

Hotch had witnessed a full-scale melt-down in his office and he'd held her tightly and let her vent without judgment.

J.J. helped her stay calm in the hospital while Dave fought for his life; and If she had to cry, the only person she truly trusted enough, was Dave. But dammit, she was tired of crying.

"I don't know if I'm ready to do it all again. I don't know if I can be the person- the mother - the wife, that you need me to be," She admitted.

"Yes, you can, Erin." His chest hurt with emotions he couldn't name. She wanted him. She finally wanted them. "You're already exactly what we need."

"No!" She shook her head as the dam broke and she was sobbing in his arms, soaking his shirt as he instinctively pulled her close.

She had carried her fears for so long that they finally broke free. She cried harder than she ever cried in her life. "I can't do this! And I keep thinking that one day, I'm going to wake up and you won't be there. Again."

"I'm so sorry," no matter how many times he said it, he couldn't make her forget that cold afternoon when he made one of the biggest mistakes of his life. His own throat clogged as he realized what he had done: He'd broken her.

"I'm so very sorry." He rubbed her back and tried to soothe her aching soul.

"And I can't keep our children safe. I need you to help me."

"And I'm not going anywhere." He pushed her back enough to look her in the face. With one hand he yanked the collar of his shirt and buttons pinged off the floor. With his other hand he pulled her hair away from her face. She felt like a little girl as he Brushed her tears away.  
>"Feel that?" He grabbed her wrist and forced her palm against his bare chest.<p>

She nodded wordlessly and matched her breathing with the thumping against her hand. "I feel it," she said shakily.

"It's never going to stop, Sweetheart; not ever. Not until we're old and sick to death of each other." He pulled her into a hug and kissed her hair.

"Nothing and nobody is going to keep us apart unless we decide to. Now can you, me and our peanut gallery, please go home?"

"That depends." A tidal wave of exhaustion swept over her and she yawned deeply. "Can you drive?"

He chuckled, "I'll drive you crazy if you let me."

She swatted him lightly, "I'd do the same for you, David," Erin replied back in a sarcastic purr, "but it would be a short journey."

He grinned. "I'll call a cab."

* * *

><p><strong>Too sappy?<strong>

**I hope not, but I think they needed this. **

**Let me know, okay?**

**Special thanks to my friend, Flashpe****nguin; this story wouldn't be here without her.**

**Happy Valentine's Day, Friends; I love you all! Be safe and be kind to yourselves no matter what your relationship status is.**

**XoxoX**

**-Aleize**

**X**


	36. Chapter Thirty-five

_Love recognizes no barriers. It jumps hurdles, leaps fences, penetrates walls to arrive at its destination full of hope._

_Maya Angelou_

* * *

><p>Erin surveyed her body in front of the full length mirror. In the exam room of the perinatal center. She frowned at what she saw, her naked body; freckled and dimpled with age. She was halfway through her fourth decade on Earth and carrying twins. By most accounts she looked good, But at 19 weeks pregnant, she wanted that baby bump. Instead, she got fat accumulating over her middle, stretch marks on her hips. Tender, droopy breasts and nausea that wouldn't quit.<p>

It was fair to say that she was unhappy with her body.  
>A quick knock pulled her from her thoughts.<p>

"Hold on," she called out and grabbed the paper gown that puddled at her feet and covered herself.

As usual, he plowed right in. Completely oblivious to her state of undress. "Car's on it's way, are you ready?"

"Give me two minutes," she reached for her panties on the chair next to her.

"Uh uh." He kicked the door closed with his foot. "That means, leave."

She turned to look at him knowing she was fighting a losing battle, "what happens if I say 'please."

"Not much I'm afraid." The corner of his mouth lifted in a smirk.

Great... She thought dryly did he really have to gloat about it?

She huffed, her hair puffed off her forehead. "I got fat. Ugly fat," she grumbled.

"Bullshit." He said, a gleam in his eyes as he stalked towards her. "See, here's the thing, Erin; we're going home." He stopped in front of her and grabbed her hand tight. Their fingers laced together. His voice hardened in impatience, "and when we get there I'm going to show you exactly what I'm talking about."

She swallowed hard, "pass me my bra."

"Usually I'm the one taking them off," he quipped and plucked the lacy bra off the chair and held in out in front of her. "Put your arms in."

* * *

><p>Dave held open the door to the black town-car, allowing Erin to climb in. "Such a gentleman," she smiled and buckled her seat belt.<p>

"Of course." He shut the door and went around the car and climbed in beside her in the backseat. They melted into the plush leather seats allowing themselves to relax and enjoy the ride. Dave's arm settled around her and she leaned into him.

"Your place or mine?" She mumbled as her eyes began to drift closed. His fingertips grazed her hip from underneath her white pants suit.

"How about our place?"  
>"What do you mean?" She sat up slightly to meet his eyes.<p>

"Exactly what I said." He shrugged, "our place. You, me, the kids: our place. Together."

"We'll see." The smooth movement of the car was lulling her to sleep.

"Mark has the kids for the day, let's just play it by ear and go to my place for now."

"I want to see the kids, I missed this," he confessed. " Hell, we could build a whole new house for all I care; as long as we're together. A tree house for Mackenzie and a big yard with a swing-set. You could have your own bathroom and one of those claw-foot tubs. Whaddya think, Sweetheart?"

Silence filled the small space of the car. Dave chanced a look at Erin and his heart dropped in disappointment; she was asleep in his arms.

Tightening his hold on her, he realized that he wouldn't change a single thing about their past; just rearranged things.

Like a proper goodbye for one thing; he realized, suddenly ashamed; he owed her a real goodbye it was 20 years overdue. When she rolled over expecting to find him sleeping next to her. Instead of the note, on hotel stationary with a hastily written 'I'm sorry' on his pillow.

All of his past failures, divorces and disappointments were just practice runs.

Had he stayed in that hotel room with her, some 20 years ago; she wouldn't have fought so hard to succeed in the FBI. Sure they might have been happy; but only for a while. She would have clung to him and resented him, he would have stolen her freedom. The unselfish but irresponsible part of him knew he couldn't do that to her.

He hated the pain he caused her; but the end result would have been the same.

His hand moved from her hip to her belly in one smooth motion. "Hi pretty babies," he whispered softly. "Sleep well." The car slowed to a stop in front of the pharmacy, Dave nudged Erin lightly. "Hey come inside with me."

He had arranged everything back at the hospital, while Erin was getting dressed.

The town car would take them to the pharmacy to get her anti-nausea prescription filled and then back to her house, where the ingredients for Dave's family secret cure-all chicken soup would be delivered.

"Please just let me sleep," she grouched but her eyes opened anyway.

"Soon," he conceded and kissed her forehead. "Let's drop this off first."

"Fine," she frowned at him and unbuckled her seatbelt. "But we're not shopping around, we're going to hand this over to the pharmacist and sit on the bench." She said, clutching the prescription tightly in her fist.

"Yes, Cranky Pants," he mumbled and prayed she couldn't hear.

"I heard that."

Dammit. He heard the metaphorical bell ding in s head; here goes Round 1.

"So?" He threw back, "I meant it, just because you're in a bad mood means I can't look around the store?"

"I am cranky, exhausted and nauseated 75% of the time; so that's Madam Cranky Pants, to you." She gave him a much deserved 'Gibbs Slap' to the back of his head.

"Ow!" He winced and reached back to rub the spot where her hand connected with his scalp. "Is your obsession with violence a pregnancy side-effect?"

"You're living up to the promise to drive me crazy," she countered, " but if it helps you could blame the hormones."

"Touche. But, you're spending too much time over at NCIS if Jethro is rubbing off on you."

"You deserved it."  
>"Yeah, I did but I'm not taking that bastard golfing."<p>

"Jealous, much?" She snarked.

"No," he lied and kissed her forehead. He was happy for the first time in years, he had something to live for that was more solid than his job. He got out of the car and went around to open her door.

"I could have gotten it myself," she said and stepped out of the car.

"How many times in your life do you get to take a luxury town car and a hired driver to the pharmacy?" His voice was challenging as he raised an eyebrow. "Don't worry, I'll wait," he deadpanned when she didn't respond.

"About that…." she paused, trying to find the exact words to state her case. She didn't want to argue with him, she didn't want to sound ungrateful; but this wasn't her life. She didn't want him throwing money around every time there was a problem, it wasn't the way she wanted her children raised. She didn't want them to think that all of your problems could go away for the right price.

If they were every going to try to fuse their lifestyles together, he was going to have to understand that.

"Erin?" His voice brought her out of her inner turmoil as they walked through the sliding double doors into the store.

"Don't you think the town car and chauffeur is just a little over the top? A yellow cab would have been fine."

"Not today." He smiled in a way that could set her very pores ablaze.

Her eyebrows knitted in confusion, "did I miss something?"

He sighed slightly and grabbed her hand tight in his. "Erin Strauss, today is the first day we haven't fought or openly ignored each other."

"It's not the first time," she said blandly, "what about the night at Max's?"  
>"That was a great night," his voice dropped low as they neared closer to the pharmacy counter.<p>

"But that was a date and you're supposed to behave on a date."  
>Erin sat the prescription on the counter. As the pharmacist scanned it she turned back to Dave. "That's not true and you know it-"<p>

"Oh? You mean the night after some idiot rear-ended you and Hotch?" He questioned boldly. Ignoring the pharmacist, who was trying and failing to recapture Erin's attention. "If you could have moved, you would have lit into me like a match-stick soaked in gasoline."

"Why?" She crossed her arms over her now-sizable chest, "what does any of that have to do with you?"

"Because I fucked up!" He turned to the pharmacist and snarled, "her address and phone number is the same as before."

He stalked over to the bench and sat down in a huff, that's what she said she wanted. No talking, no touching, no problem. He winced at the bitterness of his inner monologue; he wasn't an angry man but he sure felt like one.

He felt her presence beside him before he saw her.

"I'm sorry," Dave said quietly.

"Me too," she said. "I don't want to fight."

"It's not healthy," he conceded, in a tone that said he didn't want to argue anymore than she did. "Why do we keep doing this?"

"I don't know!" She threw her hands up in frustration. "We can't keep going like this."

"I know," he said softly. "What can I do to fix it?"

"Nothing." She dropped her shoulders in a silent surrender. "Can we just go home?"

"We're going to have to find a new pharmacy," Dave quipped and his lips lifted in a smirk.

"Ha! If that was worth throwing us out, imagine what they would say on a bad day."

Dave nodded, "that was peaceful!"

"With no cursing," she affirmed.

"Nope. We were PG."

"You were an altar-boy."

"Yeah," he snorted, "right."

As they spoke, she gradually moved towards him. Now his arm was settled around her shoulders and her ear rested on his chest.

"Comfy?" She was basically on top of him in the middle of Walgreens.

"It's the best seat in the house."

"You feel like crap, don't you?"

"What was your first clue?" She mumbled.

His hold tightened on her. "This." He leaned down and brought his mouth to meet her's in a gentle kiss.

"Now we're really going to have to find a new pharmacy," she said and let a bubble of laughter escape.

"Erin Strauss?" The pharmacist called out.

"I got it," Dave said quickly as they both stood up.

"You don't have to-" she reached for her wallet and followed him to the counter.

He slid his credit card and passed her the bag.

"This," the pharmacist laid a calendar on the counter and indicated a list with a ballpoint pen. "Is the next closest pharmacy." He circled the spot and handed it to Dave.

"Ha! Told ya!" He said as they walked through the sliding doors.

"This is discrimination!" She eyed the calendar warily and dropped the hand she was holding. Some of her fire had returned. "He can't do that us, I'm going to go talk to him. Does he know who we are!"

God help them. Dave loved her fire. He loved her passion, but right now he loved nothing more than getting her home.

"He is discriminating, Sweetheart." He grabbed her hand again, stalling her movement's. "Against ass-holes."


	37. Chapter Thirty-Six

_**If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day so I never have to live without you.  
><strong>_-**A. A. Milne-**

* * *

><p>"I like….seeing you happy." Erin said as the car carried them away from the pharmacy. He truly seemed happy now, even with a 5 O'clock shadow and a few more wrinkles around his eyes.<p>

"You make me happy." He pulled her back to him so her head was against his chest. Brushing a kiss to her forehead, his eyes met with the driver's through the rearview mirror.

"Home, then?"

Dave nodded once, "Home, Thomas. "

Thomas nodded in solidarity, "I too, like to see you happy Dave. I'll put in another order." All the years the two men had spent together in quiet comradery were finally paying off. Thomas took care of Dave's house while he was away on extended cases and Dave would pretend not to notice the business cards belonging to successful single women left in strategic places inside the house.

At the sounds of his Master's footsteps at the door, Mudgie got up from his bed in the corner of Dave's room and bolted down the stairs. The sound of his nails on the hardwood entry hall echoed through the house. As he practiced his welcome home dance.

'_right turn'_

"Dammit." Dave muttered in disdain, "stay back, Erin."

As usual she plowed right in.

'_Left turn'_

The door opened as Dave disarmed the alarm system.

And…'_jump'_

"Mudgie, FREEZE!" Dave bellowed as the 80LB pooch bounded towards Erin, he jumped trying to greet his master. His paws caught air. His master's command fell on deaf ears as a rush of adrenaline took over. Dave took one step in front of Erin and grabbed the dog by the scruff of the neck just before a pair of claws could connect with her.

"Dog I said FREEZE!" He growled and took the dog by the collar.

"Calm down, Dave." Erin tried to soothe him.

"I'm putting him on his chain, I'll be right back."

"Just let him go out the doggie door."

"He's way too hyper," Dave bit out and dragged the dog closer to the door. Poor Mudgie whimpered in apology, his baleful eyes begging for forgiveness.

"He knows where he's going," Erin argued. Good God if this was how they were going to parent their children, they had some work to do.

"He's gonna hurt someone," Dave fired back.

"Before or after _you_ hurt _him_?" Erin took a step closer and touched Dave's shoulder. "You don't want to hurt him. He loves you."

"Fine," reluctantly he released his grip on the collar. Mudgie trotted to the doggie door and cast one last look at Erin before the doggie door swung closed.

"I'm…" Dave paused awkwardly, "sorry I lost my temper," he said softly and led them into the den. A plush leather sofa curved around two walls and bookshelves lined the other. "You know, that dog's crazy about you."

"It was no big deal and for the record, I like him too. "

Her jaw dropped at the sight of the book, the number of bookmarks that stuck out of the pages.

Dave chuckled, "You like what you see?"

"You've been busy." She complimented as she surveyed his book shelves, varies copies of What to Expect when you're Expecting bulged from the shelves. Among mystery novels and nonfiction crime. Each one was marked in multiple places with different colored ribbons.

"We should know the sex by now." He said, his arm wrapped around her waist.

"I should be shopping, too." Her teeth sank into her bottom lip worriedly.

"We can do that," he reassured. "You need stuff, too."

"With the change of season, I'm sure there's a sale going on somewhere."

"Please." He snorted, "sale prices are the least of your worries."

"Ow!" She winced slightly and leaned into him.

"What is it?" His arm tightened around her instinctively.

Her hand came up against her rib cage, "it feels like they're adding a

new addition."

"Prime real estate." He covered her hand with his and loosened his hold on her. "Stop scaring the crap out of your mother," he scolded gently and pulled a book from the shelf. His other hand moved up and down her stomach in long smooth strokes. Erin leaned her head into his shoulder and stretched until her eyes met his. "You look tired."

"Rehab is exhausting. Come lay down with me." He didn't want to sleep but he couldn't stop the fatigue that sank into him.

He moved further into the living room and sat the book down on the coffee table, flipping the pages, he paused and waited until she was next to him and sat down. His hand settled on the small of her back, the gentle curve of her body seemed to fit just right against his.

She toed off her shoes and curled her legs up on the couch.

"What are we reading?" She asked and reached for the book. "I refuse to read about Round Ligament Pain in Second Trimester for Dummies unless you do voices."

Dave barked a laugh, "How about Baby Names, A Through Z." He flipped the page. "Abigail?" He offered.

Erin laughed, the sound seemed to bounce off the walls and Dave could feel the vibrations of her voice against his chest, "absolutely not."

"Well I can't call them The Doublemint Twins, forever." He argued.

"That's what you call them!" She laughed harder.

"He raised an eyebrow, "It's not that funny, Erin."

"Yes it is!"

"Well, what do you call them?" He challenged.

She thought for a second, "I don't call them anything."

Was it wrong that she didn't give their babies a cute nickname? Suddenly she felt very subconscious, something akin to shame rolled over her.

"I didn't realize you gave them a nickname."

Dave flipped the page again, "so let's come up with one and stick to it until we decide on actual names."

"We have plenty of time," Erin argued and reached for the tablet on the coffee table.

"Want to shop instead?" Dave asked and handed her the tablet.

"Let's just look," she said and logged into Amazon.

"Sure, just one thing," he plucked the tablet out of her grip.

"Hey!"

She grabbed for the tablet but he pulled it out of her reach.

"Now, hold up. It's not a crime for me to use my own tablet," he said and continued to type. He removed her credit card number, the one he knew she paid for faithfully, in full with no questions asked; and replaced it with his Platinum Visa number. Saving the information, he. added a pregnancy pillow to their virtual shopping cart and passed the device back to her.

"Now, you may shop until your heart's content."

"What did you do?" She asked, suspiciously.

"Oh." He shrugged, "just deleted my porn stash."

"Yeah right, you prefer the real thing and we both know it." She clicked on the empty cart, her eyes dilated in surprise. "An $80 pillow, are you out of your mind?"

That was dinner in her world. Mark didn't spend that much on groceries for the week when she was pregnant with Paige; by the time she was born the baby had everything she could ever want or need; but Erin spent her entire pregnancy in the FBI compound. An achy back or swollen ankles just weren't a priority.

"What?" He shrugged in nonchalance. "Suddenly it's a crime to buy you something to make you comfortable?"

"Dave-"

"Look." He shut the book and waited until he had her full attention. "Let me do this, okay? I _need_ to do this."

"Do what?"

He took a suddenly shaky breath, he didn't know if it was the exhaustion that finally settled into his bones or just the fact that she was finally ready to hear it, but Dave felt his guard lower and for the first time in many years; he wanted to talk about James.

"I didn't get to do it right the first time, look what that cost me."

"David, you can't-"

"Please," He held up one hand. "Just listen."

"Alright."

"I was gone so much while Carolyn was pregnant, I didn't go to the appointments, I didn't realize what I was missing until I called home."

He paused, reaching far back in time. He waited for the right words to explain things, but he realized there were no words to describe that day.

_Dave navigated the car between the gas pumps and hurried towards the pay phone. He barely heard Jason Gideon call out, "Hey way to shut your door."_

_They were in New York and he needed to get home to Virginia. He didn't know why or what was wrong; but he knew deep down, trouble was ahead._

_He groped in his pockets for change, an ominous feeling had settled in his gut; he had to get home and get there fast._

_He dropped the coins into the phone and dialed his home number with a trembling hand, "It's me!" he nearly shouted, "Kay, don't hang up; it's David!"_

"_Get here, quick! Carolyn's in the hospital, Mom and Dad had to take her this morning." Dave didn't miss the panic in his sister-in law's voice. His hands began to shake as his gut clenched and unclenched, part in fear, for his wife and child and part in relief that his instincts weren't failing him. "What's happening?" He asked._

"_The doctors are trying to stop the labour," Kay said, "but they said James was in a hurry."_

"_Will they be okay?" Panic gripped him he held the phone in a white knuckled grasp. "How soon is too soon?" _

"_I don't know, Dave it's all very confusing, the doctor said they could help them but you have to get here quickly."_

Dave's voice turned ragged, "by the time I got to the hospital, Carolyn had already made the decision to take him off the life support. I didn't know the difference in the third trimester and the first; I didn't realize that James' lungs could have been medicated." Dave's voice dropped low as he allowed his memories to carry him away. "He might have lived. If I had fought for him; if I had done my job. But I didn't know and I let my wife kill our baby." His shoulders dropped as the weight of his past lowered down on him.

Erin didn't know what to say, there were no words that could balm his wounds. So she took his hand in hers and waited for him to come back to her. "He's at peace now. You need to want it for yourself."

"I do, mostly," he admitted. "I've had a lot of time to think about it. I just feel like I have to be prepared this time, can you let me do that?"

"We're going to be alright," her casted hand curled around his fingers, her other hand came around the back of his head to play with his hair. The lush locks slipped through her fingers and he leaned into her touch. "If it helps you, you can be wherever you want to be."

A far off memory struck him, "you did that in the hospital."

"What?" She ran her hand through his hair slowly teasing his scalp with her nails. "This."

Dave nodded as his chin began to sink into his chest. "You put me to sleep," he mumbled, suddenly groggy. "I don't wanna sleep yet."

He looked peaceful now, his face showed no sign of past heartache. Instinctively, Erin pulled him forward until his head laid against her chest. His arm dropped around her "that's too bad, " she whispered softly and pressed her lips against his forehead and together they fell asleep.

**Hours Later**

Erin awoke to the sound of laughter, it bubbled through the house and compelled her to open her eyes. Slowly moving to her feet, with nothing but the empty room and a blanket. Where was David? She leaned against the doorway of the kitchen, with one arm propped against the wall and the other hand on her hip. The glorious smell of chicken broth filled the air.

Dave was standing in the kitchen with a bowl in one hand and a ladle hovering over a soup pot. "I thought you were sleeping,"she said softly ;he was the one recovering from a heart attack. If she had a drop of his energy she would never have to sleep again.

"I woke up," he shrugged and filled the bowl. "Are you hungry? I'm having dinner in the living room."

"Why not in here?" She asked and pushed away from the wall.

"I didn't want to wake you, so I started watching a movie."

Erin followed him into the kitchen and grabbed a bowl. "Did you cook?"

"Yeah." He reached over her head and grabbed a glass from the cabinet. "What do you want to drink?" Erin caught a glimpse of the inside of the refrigerator; did he take out stocks in Canada Dry Ginger Ale? She thought to herself. Another quick look at the kitchen confirmed what she already knew. There was a bag on the counter that hadn't been there when they came in. The corner of a J.C. Penny catalog peeked out at her.

"Dave? What's going on?"

He turned around with her glass in hand. "I had some stuff delivered."

"What _stuff?_" Her vision blurred suddenly and she gripped the counter for balance.

"Just some stuff, I thought you might like your own soap."

"_Soap_?" She repeated, her knees felt like limp noodles.

What the hell was wrong with her?

"Just soap." He sat the glass on the counter and guided her into a chair. "Jesus, Erin. I'm not trying to move you in, yet. I thought you would like to shower with something better than Irish Spring."

She chuckled dryly, "I thought it was a good soap."

"Sure it is, for a man," he countered and took the bowl from the island and slid it on the table in front of her. "Eat, before you pass out."

"I stood up too fast." She accepted the spoon he held out for her.

He nodded in acceptance, "it's eat or shop, you choose."

"Can we do both?"

He grinned slyly, "very diplomatic, I like it. "

"That's what they pay me for. " She inhaled deeply; rich scents of herbs and chicken broth teased her senses. "Can you make this by the gallon?" She asked as she savored the meal.

"It keeps really well in the freezer." He stood up and got the catalog off the counter. "I thought we could start designing the nursery. I've spent the last two weeks stuck down here and after that I don't know if a two story house is the best idea."

"Come on, Dave please let's not talk about this now. "

She could tell by his face that her tone dulled his excitement.

She didn't want to move, she fought Mark tooth and nail to keep their house during the divorce; she painted the walls, refurbished the cabinets in the kitchen and tiled the bathroom after Mark moved out. She couldn't just give it up. Not to move into a ready-made house that looked like something out of Man-Cave monthly. A house that would never be her home, no matter how much time she spent under its roof.

"Your house is too small for all of us, Erin." Dave begged, "please just consider it?"

"But it's _my_ house. "

"So what's this? " Arms spread wide, the house that he'd worked his whole life for, from the foundation to the artwork that hung on the walls, it was all him but it wasn't enough for her. "Just a place to change your clothes?"

She shook her head, he didn't get it and at this rate he probably never would. "It's not mine. I put so much work into my house, I can't just move out."

"I get that, Erin; I do. I know you don't want to relocate the kids. But just think about how great it could be. You wouldn't have to make trips back and forth, you wouldn't have to worry about leaky pipes or a flood insurance. This house has live-in maintenance. Please, Sweetheart, just think about it. "

"The kids love their school,"Erin countered. "McKenzie has a friend now, I can't just rip them away because you decided this is best."

"And you're right, I don't want them to be hurt, but it hurts them when they come home from Mark's and you're here instead."

Dammit. He always found the low blow. "I'm sorry!" She pushed to her feet, and crossed her arms. "Don't call me a bad parent because I'm not ready to share a house with you when I just got my freedom back!"

A long stretch of silence fell over them.

He pushed away from the table, brushing past her to take his bowl and spoon to the sink.

"I didn't-" he scrambled for the right words. That was one hot button that he would never intentionally press. "You're a fantastic mother, Erin and you know I mean that. "

He stepped closer to her his hand found her delicate cheek without his consent. "I think everything you do is fantastic, starting with those kids." His fingertips caressed her cheek and she met his gaze. "We don't have to agree, Sweetheart. But there's nothing in this universe that you can't do. You're too damn good at your job, a glorious lover and sexier than sin. This can be your home too if you want it. Now come here and let me show you how amazing you are. " He grabbed her hand and led them into the living room, stopping in front of the full length mirror on the wall.

"Open your eyes, My Love. "

"They are open."

She watched through the mirror as Julia Roberts and Richard Gere made love on the piano.

"Good. " He grabbed the remote and turned off the TV. "I want your full attention."

"I'm not going anywhere. "

His hands ran down her back sending warmth through her body.

"Now I want you to see you as I see you." He moved over to the closet and pulled out a T-shirt and a house-coat.

He wanted her against him, skin on skin. Never again did he want to walk into a room and hear her criticizing her body the way she did today at the doctor's office. Not when she was giving him one of the greatest gifts a man could ask for.

He moved behind her again and pushed her jacket from her shoulders. He threw it over the sofa against the wall.

"What are you doing?"

"Do you trust me?"

"With my life. "

This " His fingers played with the hem of her tank top. He pulled it over her head in one swift movement. His palms curved around her breasts. "is in my way."

Her breath hitched as he touched the bare skin of her rib cage. His fingers played against the band of her bra. With one hand he snapped the clasp open and she watched her bra fall to the floor. Her reflection played out in front of them, she had never seen Dave so content.

"These," his hands curled around her breasts. "Will feed our children."

"This, " He mumbled against her ear and moved his hands lower she jumped in surprise as he grabbed her waistband. "Step out. " He demanded and pushed her pants down her hips. "This. " He grabbed her slightly rounded hips. "Will bring our children into the world." His movements slowed and she thought her heart would burst with affection for him.

Her breath stalled as she watched him touch her.

There she stood, wearing nothing but her panties and Dave's arms around her. For the first time in too long, she felt beautiful.

Warm flesh on hers stopped any verbal response she might have had as his palm found the cusp of her belly. "This is where our children grow, safe and healthy, because of you. Just you, Erin. "

His hands moved lower and he took her rear in a possessive grasp.

"That part of my body does absolutely nothing," she yelped in surprise. Her cheeks and neck were stained red with embarrassment.

"It makes me happy. "

She leaned her cheek against his chest. "Just so you know, the kitchen curtains are ugly, you need more natural light and the mattress in the master suite needs to be replaced. "

He grinned and felt some of the tension roll off his shoulders. Slowly he turned to face her. "Why the mattress?"

"Because I'm not sleeping in a pool of bodily fluids." She replied shaking her head.

"I'm glad you're finally seeing things my way." He loved this, he realized and pulled the T-shirt over her head.


End file.
